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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23594614">Hot and Cold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCCrum0/pseuds/NCCrum0'>NCCrum0</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>World Trigger (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Crush, Awkward Tension, Developing Relationship, Emotionally Repressed, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Relationships, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Relationship(s), Slow Build, Slow Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:00:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>66,692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23594614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCCrum0/pseuds/NCCrum0</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kazama finds out his one-sided love might not be so one-sided and Kizaki finds that his best friend makes for more than just a drinking buddy.</p><p>Smut included in the last three chapters.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arafune Tetsuji/Murakami Kou, Jin Yuuichi/Tachikawa Kei, Kako Nozomi/Tsutsumi Daichi, Kazama Souya/Kizaki Reiji, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Kizaki l</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kizaki circled his finger over the rim of his class while studying people at the bar. Suwa and Terashima were in the corner talking about who knows what, Tsutsumi was stopping Kako from spiking said duo’s drinks, and Kizaki was bored out of his mind. Tonight was a time for him to forget all his problems, but there was something off. A certain black-haired friend of his was off studying, leaving him to deal with the mess in the corner.</p>
<p>“Yo, Kizaki!” Suwa wobbled over to him, his cheeks flushed red. He flung an arm around Kizaki and pulled him in. This is the mess he was talking about. This blabbermouth was the source of all his problems right now.</p>
<p>“Why are you sulking over here? You are wasting away your youth by frowning all the time.” The drink in his hands spilled over, and some landed on Kizaki’s jeans. He still kept his lips thin and his eyes sharp.</p>
<p>“I read online that if you leave your face like that, it could get stuck like that.” His fiery breath spread over Kizaki, who, in response, leaned his chair in the opposite direction.</p>
<p>“You’re so annoying. And for the record, I’m sulking because you forced me here.” He put a hand to his chest and gasped overdramatically. It was like watching a middle school play by how much he dramatized everything.</p>
<p>“What? You came here on your own free will!” Kizaki sipped on his drink and rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Sure, you taking my backpack was definitely not a hostage situation.” Suwa laughed and took a swig of his drink. This was the one time of the week Kizaki could relax and with Suwa getting blackout drunk every time, it was at best extremely entertaining, and at worst, getting them banned from the bar they were drinking at. That’s why for the last few months they were hopping from one bar to the next. It was also why Kazama had been pulling the ‘studying card’, instead of joining them.</p>
<p>He didn’t doubt Kazama was studying, but it was suspicious the amount of times their texts asking him to go drinking with them fell on deaf ears. Suwa snapped his fingers.</p>
<p>“I think I know why you’ve been so moody lately, it’s because Kazama isn’t here right?” He posted his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest. He seemed proud of his observation.</p>
<p>“No, I just didn’t feel like drinking today.”</p>
<p>“How could you ever not feel like drinking? And why isn’t Kazama here? He’s been ditching a lot.” Suwa threw up his eyebrows.</p>
<p>“It’s exam season, so he’s studying. Something you know nothing about.” Kizaki said, deadpanned.</p>
<p>The blonde ignored the insult and frowned. “Boring! He’s always studying, I’m beginning to think he might be lying to me about why he won’t hang out with me.”</p>
<p>“He would never do that, don’t you know there are always more tests to take? Even on weekends?” Kizaki asked, sarcastically.</p>
<p>“You’re right! Why would I think that? I’m such an idiot sometimes.” Kizaki should have thought better than to trust the drunk man with hearing the sarcasm in his voice. Suwa was getting bored and took a swig of Kizaki’s drink. To Kizaki’s dismay, Suwa cracked open yet another bottle and stumbled away towards Terashima.</p>
<p>Suwa nearly tripped over himself walking back while Kizaki slipped his phone out of his pocket. He pulled up his messaging app and tapped on the ‘Kazama’ contact. To keep himself occupied, Kizaki was texting him all night. Despite Kazama being busy doing who knows what, the smaller man didn’t seem to mind.</p>
<p>&gt;How much more “studying” do you have left?</p>
<p>The moment his message sent, the ‘read’ symbol lit up. Kizaki raised an eyebrow. He must have waited for an excuse to stop doing what he was doing.</p>
<p>&gt; Ha Ha. Very funny. For your information I am studying and doing work Tachikawa conveniently forgot to do. Shinoda asked me to help and he’s paying me in brownie points. He’s also saying he will spar with Tachikawa instead of me for a couple weeks, so at least the idiot is off my back.</p>
<p>He could feel the anger seeping through Kazama’s text. The clock on the wall wrote half-past twelve. How long had he been working for?</p>
<p>&gt; So, you’ve been working all day? What did they force on you?</p>
<p>&gt;Virtually everything. Including some of Tachikawa’s college work, my own paperwork, and an essay to boot. Everything is going so well I should be done by 10 tomorrow morning. Horray. Here’s where I’m doing all this mess. <em>Image</em></p>
<p>Kizaki squinted to look at the picture; the only light came from a desk lamp in the corner. Piles of papers and textbooks were in frame with a laptop off to the side. An essay was on the screen, and Kizaki eyed a coffee mug with a Border symbol illuminated by the laptop screen. He could imagine the black-haired man sitting at his desk, black circles under his eyes, nursing a cup of coffee. It was fitting.</p>
<p>&gt;That looks depressing.</p>
<p>&gt; Yeah, I’m so fucking tired. Tachikawa is an idiot. And I’m an even bigger one for agreeing to this like I always do.</p>
<p>He could appreciate the man’s self-deprecating humor when he was tired, or drunk, or both if it was a bad day. It was one of the things that was entertaining about drinking with him. He missed their banter at bars. The last time they went out, coincidentally when Suwa got them kicked out of the last bar, he went on a rant that stung more than it was funny. Kizaki always wanted like to say something more during those moments, but he never wanted to push his friend.</p>
<p>&gt;Hey, at least you can just sleep after this.</p>
<p>&gt;Nah, I’m still at the Base so I have a long walk to go after I’m done.</p>
<p>Kizaki frowned. Why in the hell was he still at the Base? Couldn’t he just take that work home? He grabbed his keys and stood up, determined to give him a lift. He would make sure the workaholic got at least some rest tonight compared to every other day of the week. Kako and Tsutsumi looked over at him as he got up.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you two later. Make sure Suwa doesn’t get arrested.”</p>
<p>Kako smiled,” No, no, where are you going? We need your muscles for when he does something stupid.”</p>
<p>Tsutsumi looked over, offended, “Hey, I could take him!”</p>
<p>“You could, it’s just you look like a popsicle stick compared to Kizaki.”</p>
<p>Tsutsumi clutched his chest dramatically as Kako interrogated Kizaki, “Anyway, where are you fleeing off to? We just got here an hour ago.”</p>
<p>“I need to go pick up Kazama, he’s been working all day, so I’m going to take him home.” He was getting a bit of a buzz, but he didn’t want to waste the overpriced beverage. Kizaki tipped his head back to finish his glass of beer. When he looked back down, the pair was eyeing him suspiciously. A mischievous grin spread across Kako’s face.</p>
<p>“So you’re taking your friend home after a long day of work? Are you going to make him dinner too? Maybe tuck him into bed?” He rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Can’t I care about a friend?”</p>
<p>“You can, but none of us are concerned. Kazama is too intimidating to get mugged if that’s what you’re worried about. You are always worrying about him, he’s an adult not a child.”</p>
<p>“I don’t worry that much about him.”</p>
<p>“Really? You always do this when Kazama isn’t around. You politely excuse yourself to go hang out with him, but you know what? It’s kinda rude.”</p>
<p>Kako was always forward when she had something passionate to say. Her whole face had scrunched up, and she tapped her finger angrily against the table. Tsutsumi grabbed her hand and smiled to her, trying to get her to calm down.</p>
<p>She shook herself, and fixed her composure, “We invite you here for a reason, Kizaki, we’re your friends. We want you to have an enjoyable time. If you don’t think you will, you can just say no instead of leaving us an hour in like you have been recently.”</p>
<p>He felt guilty leaving now, because he knew it was true. It seemed like going out recently hadn’t been the same without him. It was odd. He didn’t always feel like this but as the pair grew closer, it was more noticeable when he wasn’t there. It was also getting boring to drink the same drink instead of trading his with Kazama’s. Kako shooed him away as his daydream subsided. “Just don’t get into a crash now. I saw you drinking over there.”</p>
<p>He left the bar, focusing on his steps so he didn’t face plant into the concrete. He wasn’t drunk, more-so he had a lot on his mind. The air outside froze his breath as he made his way towards the car. He wasn’t in the best condition to be driving, but he was confident in his muscle memory driving the car. Inside, he picked up his phone to text Kazama. It had slipped his mind to tell Kazama he would take him home. He assumed it would take some coercion to get him to rest, but he was willing to take up the fight.</p>
<p>&gt; I’ll be there in a bit to pick you up. It’s late. You need to sleep.</p>
<p>He drank some lukewarm water that was sitting in the cupholder and tried to sober himself up, Kako had done some heavy lifting with that. He put his head into his hands. He felt bad for always ditching them. It was just... He thought of Kazama, sitting alone at a desk, hunched over his work like his life depended on it. Kizaki felt an innate need to take care of him.</p>
<p>Just then, a message made his phone light up. He unlocked his phone to check.</p>
<p>&gt;...All right, but I’m too tired to do anything but sleep.</p>
<p>That was easier than he thought it would be. He sped over to headquarters, being careful not to let his slightly tipsy self control in place of his sober self. He texted Kazama he was in front of the building and spent the next few minutes checking to see if he looked like he had been drinking. He didn’t want to make Kazama feel uncomfortable taking a ride from a drunk man.</p>
<p>A few minutes went by, and the entrance doors opened. A sleepy Kazama stumbled into the car with his backpack looking like it was near overflowing with papers. He threw his bag into the back seat. It made an abnormally loud thud.</p>
<p>Kazama looked over to the red-head, who flinched under his gaze. His red eyes reflected brilliantly against the streetlights outside. By the way he stumbled he was running on auto-pilot, only looking over to Kizaki to thank him for the ride.</p>
<p>“You don’t know how much I’ve been dreading that walk home.” His eyes were barely open, and he strapped the seatbelt over himself. As the ride started, Kizaki debated talking with him but decided against it, seeing how tired he was.</p>
<p>Kizaki felt the air had gotten stuffy, and he rolled down his window. Kazama, feeling the therapeutic wind, fell asleep against the headrest, his keys intertwined in his hands.</p>
<p>Pulling up to Kazama’s apartment, the unemotional man was still asleep. His thin lips pursed together, and his chest moved rhythmically with his breathing. His eyebrows periodically twitched. Even in his sleep he looked stressed. Kazama was always busy, and he always held papers in his arms, whether it be homework for his classes, reviewing Border paperwork, or helping Tachikawa, he was always working towards something.</p>
<p>Kizaki shook himself. Maybe it was the alcohol making him bolder than usual. Staring at someone while they were asleep is creepy, and it would be embarrassing if Kazama woke up right now. His face turned red a bit, and he tried to shake Kazama awake.</p>
<p>“Hey, Kazama.” He didn’t respond. He tried again, but the smaller man just nestled into the seat even more. Kizaki gave up on getting him awake and grabbed his keys. He moved to grab his backpack and opened the passenger door. He scooped up Kazama into his arms, he was light in Kizaki’s arms. He fidgeted with the keys, trying to find the one for his apartment. When he found the key that worked his arms were starting to give out. It was icy inside, and Kizaki made his way over to the living room. Kazama stirred from the movement, and as Kizaki dropped him onto the couch, he pulled the larger man on top of him.</p>
<p>“K-Kazama?” He put his hands on either side of Kazama to not crush him as he wrapped his arms around Kizaki. Kazama slid his arms up and down Kizaki’s back, sending shivers down his spine. He continued to pull down Kizaki until their chests touched, their noses inches apart. Kizaki’s heart was beating out of his chest and he could feel heat pulse through him.</p>
<p>“You’re so warm, Kizaki.” His raspy breath brushed against his cheek, and Kizaki’s face heated. His breath smelled like coffee, not strong enough to keep him awake.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you stay here a little longer with me?” He started stroking his hair, and Kizaki studied his face. His eyes raced under his eyelids, but the rest of his face was unusually relaxed. Kazama’s eyes flickered open and he gazed at the other man. His feline eyes caressed Kizaki, he felt slightly violated, but staring back calmed him. Kizaki gasped as one of Kazama’s hands slipped onto his neck, his thumb moving across his jawline. His fingers and palm were frigid and stung against his heated face. Kazama’s lips cracked open, and when his grip loosened, Kizaki quickly got up.</p>
<p>Kazama curled into a ball and fell asleep quickly after closing his eyes again. Kizaki fled to his car outside, dropping Kazama’s backpack on the floor near the door. He closed the door quietly and locked it with a spare under the doormat. With his back to the door, he had to take a timeout. His heart pounded in his ears, he took ragged breaths, and his face was flushed red. He was still struggling to understand what had just happened. Kazama just wasn’t thinking about what he was doing. That must be the reason.</p>
<p>He sped away in his car towards the Tamakoma base. His senses still clouded with embarrassment and only a small bit of alcohol at this point. He was still trying to figure out why Kazama would do something like that when he got inside. The scene replayed in his head again and again, but he couldn’t make any sense of his actions.</p>
<p>Replaying the scene in his mind again and again, he couldn’t place what was making him jittery. Kazama’s eyes were glazed; they weren’t as crimson as usual, and they seemed red like a rose instead of the fire that typically lit his iris’. Kizaki shook his head. Having someone look at him like that was making thoughts turn into a puzzle. Kazama must have thought he was someone else, right? There’s no way that stone-cold man would look at him with that kind of lust, right? </p>
<p>The problem with that theory was Kazama had said his name, with more emphasis compared to the other words he had muttered, he should add. Kazama also looked directly at him, wouldn’t he have backed up after seeing him? His head was pounding, it was too late to be thinking about this, he would do that tomorrow.</p>
<p>The Tamakoma base was quiet except for Jin and Kuga watching a movie on the couch. He greeted them and retreated to his room. He needed sleep before thinking about things further. Everything that night had been a blur, but the only thing he knew for sure was the smirk Jin gave him when he got back to Tamakoma.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Kizaki ll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kizaki woke up in the morning with a throbbing headache, the one that would keep him in bed all day until Director Rindou came in to shake him awake. On a usual Sunday morning, that’s what he would do, but today he felt like he had to do something, anything, even with his head splitting open.</p>
<p>His memory was foggy from last night, which was strange because he knew he didn’t drink a lot, but it felt like he forgot something important. He remembered Suwa talking to him at the bar, Kako and him having an argument- he knew after that he took Kazama home, but none of the details stood out. He was mad at himself for not remembering, but he couldn’t think with a massive headache.</p>
<p>He made his way out of his bed to grab medicine before even attempting his morning routine. This morning nearly all the inhabitants of the Tamakoma branch were in the kitchen. They were chatting with each other, eating breakfast, and discussing Tamakoma-2’s recent involvement in rank battles.</p>
<p>It was loud, and when Kizaki came through looking for medicine, it was like a bombshell had gone off. Nearly everyone’s conversations had trailed off as Kizaki became the center of attention. He grabbed his water from the fridge, groaning from the harsh artificial light. Usami, being her cheery self, was the first to speak up.</p>
<p>“Good morning Reiji!” Spinning around, he saw everyone staring at him. Their faces shone with a fake cheerfulness and he eyed each of them suspiciously. He cleared his throat before continuing.</p>
<p>“Good morning.” He said in a still raspy voice. He knew it wasn’t a good morning; he felt like shit and knew his hair was greasy from not showering. In silence, he could feel their pity; they looked at him like he was an animal in a cage.</p>
<p>“Is everything all right? You don’t look too good.” Usami’s smile was more cheerful than usual. It was to make her seem more welcoming, and Kizaki was not having it.</p>
<p>He smiled back, “Everything is fine, Usami. I just didn’t sleep well. That’s all.” Even without Yuma’s side effect, everyone knew that was a blatant lie. By now, Kizaki had felt worse by their stares and had started slightly sweating. He needed to take a shower now.</p>
<p>Usami wouldn’t let him go smoothly, though, “Oh! I made omurice for everyone. Would you like some?”</p>
<p>“No thank you, I’ll get something when I’m out.” What Kizaki wanted to say was, ‘No, I smell like a dying gorilla right now. I need to shower’, but that kind of dry humor would only make a few people chuckle and make Konami confused because she’s never smelled a dying gorilla before.</p>
<p>He then politely excused himself into his room and quickly shed his clothes. He turned on the shower, then turned towards the mirror. Dear God, he looked like a train wreck. His hair was flat and stuck to his head in a very unflattering way, he looked pale, and probably the most noticeable of all was the dark circles under his eyes. He looked like a raccoon; they were so dark he wasn’t sure if sleep would even help.</p>
<p>He downed the bottle of water and medicine while the shower warmed up to the perfect temperature. When he stepped inside, the rushing water was a sanctuary- a closed space all to himself where no one would bother him. But there was one tiny annoyance in his mind that prevented him from genuinely experiencing euphoria. What happened last night that had gotten him so worked up? He searched through his memories, his eyes closed, water rushing down his head. It made him feel weird, flustered, like he was missing something. He couldn’t remember anything until he opened his eyes. His two red conditioner bottles stood on the shelf, showered with water.</p>
<p>Then it hit him like a bullet train. The fiasco at Kazama’s apartment came rushing back into his mind, and instantly his face turned even paler than before. Did Kazama remember anything? He seemed out of it, but then again, Kazama is a pseudo memory genius, with all his studying that is.</p>
<p>Determined, he marched out of the shower to prepare to ask Kazama straight up if he remembered, but immediately doubled back when he realized what he would have done if he didn’t push him away.</p>
<p>He would have kissed him, Kazama, another man. His face burned. This was making him uncharacteristically flustered, and he felt his heart beating in his ears.</p>
<p>Kizaki gulped down the saliva forming in his mouth. That would be too embarrassing for him to mention. Maybe he should just not bring it up? No, Kazama must have known something happened. He finished washing himself and stepped out of the shower.</p>
<p>Kizaki looked in the mirror again. His face was flushed, which is debatably better than being a living ghost, but the bags under his eyes were still present. He sighed and threw on some workout clothes. He thought this was the best way to be productive without having to address the issue that annoyed him in the back of his mind.</p>
<p>He headed out into the living room. Not as many people were out now, but Usami was still there looking concerned.</p>
<p>“Reiji, are you sure you don’t want to eat something?” She asked. Reiji saw she was about to put the leftovers away, and as he was about to decline, his stomach rumbled.</p>
<p>He blushed a little, and Usami pushed a plate of omurice into his hands. As he ate, he surfed on his phone, looking at news from the cities around him and looked at a Border specific news website to see if he had missed anything during the night. Nothing out of the ordinary, but he saw it would rain in the evening, so he scarfed down his food. He quickly washed his plate and grabbed his essentials.</p>
<p>On the way out, he saw Jin smiling at him from the roof of the Base. Not a rare sight to see, but suspicious. Starting his run, Reiji started through neighborhoods, made his way through a park, and ended up in a busy market. His stomach cramped from the food he had eaten earlier, but he pushed through the pain. Cursing under his breath, his legs were on fire and he took a break after he passed the market.</p>
<p>He had run a few kilometers by that point; he deserved a break. He didn’t see many people walking about with the expected rain, but he saw many couples taking advantage of the overcast weather by going into a local theater. He had to remember this place for later; it was a cute sub-section of the city.</p>
<p>He was about to start his jog again when he heard a familiar voice from behind him that made his heart skip a beat.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you jogged around here, Kizaki. You’re quite a long way away from the Tamakoma Base.” His palms started sweating as he turned around to face the one person he didn’t want to see today.</p>
<p>“Hello, Kazama.” He stood with his usual icy aura, his typical green jacket over a white shirt. He was carrying groceries in a reusable bag, and a portable umbrella hooked on the side. His casual demeanor helped Kizaki feel calm, but that was short-lived.</p>
<p>“I need to thank you again for helping me back last night.” His heart rate spiked. Kizaki’s face grew slightly pink, and he couldn’t look him straight in the eyes. Kazama looked puzzled, but if he were to look the smaller man in the eyes, he wouldn’t be able to control his embarrassment.</p>
<p>“It’s what friends do for each other.” He could see him smile slightly, and just as Kizaki was about to excuse himself, Kazama stopped him.</p>
<p>“Do you think you could help me take these groceries to my place? You could use the sweat, right?” Kizaki gulped, this was the second time today someone had forced him into something he would prefer not to do. He could decline, but that would just make him look suspicious, so he just took the bags without words.</p>
<p>While walking down the street, the pair had quite the usual conversation talking about basic things in each other’s lives. Luckily for Kizaki, he didn’t talk about the incident last night, but unluckily it rained when they got up to Kazama’s door. He flung open the door, and the two tumbled inside.</p>
<p>“You get wet?” Kazama asked him.</p>
<p>“No, I think I’m good.” Kizaki put down the groceries and looked around the living room. Last night he couldn’t see what was around, but now he sees the minimalist style Kazama has going on. There was not a lot of furniture, but it was very in character of him. They both brought his groceries over to the fridge to store.</p>
<p>“Kizaki,” He looked up to Kazama, “when did you learn how to cook? I’ve been wanting to learn but haven’t had the time.” Kizaki thought while putting up various cans of food.</p>
<p>“Hmm, I don’t remember, but I know I just started because I wanted to get stronger.” Kazama looked over in curiosity, “Couldn’t you do that by working out?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I didn’t eat well, it didn’t matter how much I worked out, if my diet was bad I wasn’t going to get stronger.” Kazama hummed in response and frowned at his cans of coffee. They put the rest up as thunder rolled outside. A downpour of rain followed.</p>
<p>“Well, I guess you’ll be stuck here for a while.” Kizaki gulped, just more chances for him to embarrass himself in front of his friend. They moved to the couch and watched some TV. A rom-com between a businessman and kindergarten teacher was playing. The woman was the teacher of the businessman’s kid, shocking. On the couch, Kizaki made sure the two of them were sitting as far apart as possible against opposite couch arms.</p>
<p>Despite that, he still felt nervous. Kazama hadn’t mentioned what happened last night and by the way he was acting it made Kizaki feel like the crazy one in the room. To compensate for sweating so much, he drank some water he had gotten from the fridge. The water slipped down his parched throat like butter and he saw saw Kazama turn towards him while he was drinking.</p>
<p>“Kizaki, do you still have a crush on Yuri?” He nearly spit out his drink. He looked over to Kazama, who was still focused on the movie. He had probably noticed Kizaki getting flustered but didn’t mention it. Kizaki thought for a second.</p>
<p>“Well, I,” He hadn’t seen her recently, so she hadn’t been on his mind, “yes, but it’s not as intense as it used to be. I think it’s just more admiration now.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I remember you following her around like a little puppy a couple years back, it was cute to watch.” He hid his face from shame. He had done some stupid stuff to get her attention. He tried to turn the embarrassment towards Kazama but couldn’t find much romance in his life. A light bulb clicked on in his head.</p>
<p>“Well, if we’re trying to embarrass each other, you remember the time you fought a postbox?”</p>
<p>“Shit, haha.” It was his turn now to bury his face in his hands, Kizaki could see the tips of his ears turning red. A word flashed in his mind that made him hesitate for a moment. ‘Cute’. His own face burned brighter than before.</p>
<p>“I hate that I can’t keep my liquor down. It doesn’t make drinking fun. If I can’t live through it, what’s the point? I know you have the same problem.” They both smiled.</p>
<p>“I would point out something embarrassing you did for a girl, but I can’t remember anything like that. So that was the second-best thing.” His smile dropped a bit at Kizaki mentioning girls and Kazama turned his body to face directly towards him. Kizaki shifted his focus away from his eyes towards the movie. He was waiting for Kizaki to say something, or maybe realize something?</p>
<p>He was blunt about it. He said what was on his mind, and hopefully what Kazama was wanting him to realize. “Kazama, do you like women?” His smile dropped further, and he shifted further so his back was against the arm-rest.</p>
<p>“I’ve tried,” His gaze was unwavering, “but no, I don’t.” His eyes were cold and overbearing. Kizaki didn’t want to look into his eyes. However, he felt like he needed to. Kazama was revealing something important about himself and Kazama wasn’t going to just brush it off. He took a deep breth and he licked his lips.  It sent shivers through Kizaki, it was making him want more from Kazama. His eyes glossed over Kizaki with the same intensity as last night.  </p>
<p>Kazama bit his lip, “Kizaki, do you-” A knock at the door made the two of them jump. Kazama walked over to the door and poked his head out.</p>
<p>“Yo!” Jin. Kizaki could hear that greeting from anywhere. He walked through and smiled at Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Ready to head out?” For a split second he saw Kazama scowl, before his face turned neutral again.</p>
<p>Kizaki frowned, “I didn’t tell you where I was.” Jin scoffed like he had asked a stupid question.</p>
<p>“I thought you would be in trouble with all this rain. You must not have seen Usami text you.” No, he hadn’t. He got up, slipped his shoes back on, and headed to the door.</p>
<p>“Sorry for leaving so suddenly.” Kizaki said.</p>
<p>“It’s fine. I need to get to working on some paperwork, anyway.” He could hear the dissapointment in Kazama’s voice.</p>
<p>“Oh, I almost forgot what were you going to ask me?” Kizaki asked.</p>
<p>He glanced at Jin for a second, “I’ll ask you later. Thank you for helping me today.” He smiled; it looked fake.</p>
<p>“No problem, I’ll see you later.” He closed the door and the pair hurried to the car under the rain.</p>
<p>“Sorry if I ruined your hangout, Usami was kicking me to grab you for dinner.” Kizaki nodded and stared out the window.</p>
<p>“Jin, did you know Kazama liked men?” He glanced at Kizaki for a second, “Of course, I’ve known for a while.”</p>
<p>Kizaki shook his head. He daydreamed about his conversation with Kazama. If he didn’t tell him about such a significant portion of himself, how much had he been keeping hidden from Kizaki? Did Suwa know? Did Terashima know?</p>
<p>He left with more questions than he had begun with. Tomorrow was Monday. He could probably investigate more with other people. Starting with Kako, she probably has a lot of sources he could dig into. Then there was the thing that started this all. Why was he acting so strange last night? For now, he would just go home and let the rest of the day fly by.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you like the look of Wattpad's layout, I have this fic over there. It has the same title and the same username. Drop a kudos or a comment if you like, I like hearing from strangers on the internet.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Kazama l</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moment Kizaki and Jin left, Kazama headed straight for his wine cabinet. He had had enough human interaction for one day, no, for an entire week. Telling Kizaki he was gay was probably the most nerve-wracking situation he had ever experienced. Well, maybe one situation was worse, the one that had played out last night.</p>
<p>A thought ran through his mind: If Kizaki remembered last night, and if he asked him if he liked men because of what happened, does that mean he thinks Kazama liked him? If so, he fucked up, not because he doesn’t like Kizaki, but because he does.</p>
<p>Luckily for him, he seemed to have taken it well. He didn’t say anything afterward, but maybe that was good? Twisting off the wine cap, he sighed. Kazama drank it straight out of the bottle, too lazy to pour out a glass for himself.</p>
<p>All he could do was hope Kizaki didn’t think he was a weirdo. He always tried to make himself seem cold and robust in-front of the red-head. He now realizes that he might have distanced himself from Kizaki; this kind of obsession was making him think weird things.</p>
<p>If he were a teenager, he would probably wouldn’t have been able to speak because of how many butterflies were in his stomach, also because of how horny he was. Kazama shook his head, that last part was a lie. He was still a horny teenager at heart. How he knew that was the little ploy he acted on the previous night. He would have burst if Kizaki brought it up.</p>
<p>He didn’t know what had come over him last night, the sleep deprivation plus the compromising situation lead to his body, not his mind, controlling his actions. He remembered Kizaki’s alcohol tinted breath, mixed with his cologne. It had gotten him hot and bothered. Fuck.</p>
<p>Kizaki had always seemed to permeate his thoughts, even before he realized he had a crush on him. Every single significant memory had tied back to him in some form. Going out to bars, studying for exams, even when his brother was killed, he remembers Kizaki right there next to him.</p>
<p>Despite the sand-bag of emotional baggage tied to his heart, he decided the actual bag sitting by his front door needed to be dealt with. He hadn't touched it since last night, but he knew his, well, Tachikawa’s work would not get done just by sitting there.</p>
<p>But every time he focused on his work, Kizaki popped into his mind. He had an angel and a devil on his shoulders. One side telling him to snap out of it and concentrate, and the other telling him to deal with the bulge in his pants. It’s obvious what he should have done, but fifteen minutes later, he wanted to crawl in a hole and die.</p>
<p>Throughout the night, he got all his work done with enough time to fall asleep for six hours. It seemed like once he hit the pillow the next second, his alarm was ringing in his ear. He dragged himself out of bed and started his walk toward the border base, coffee in hand. The first thing he had in the morning was a Captain’s meeting, followed by practice, then studying in the evening. Anytime he had in between, he would try to spend getting ahead on his work.  He sighed, yet another long day.</p>
<p>He walked through the entrance doors to see various agents scattered around. Most were punctual captains waiting for the weekly meeting about to start. Sitting on couches across from each other were Kako and suprisingly, Tachikawa. They noticed Kazama and beckoned him over.</p>
<p>“Yo, Kazama, what’s up?” Tachikawa asked, making room on the couch for him to sit down. He sat down and gulped down his coffee, eyeing Tachikawa over the can. Tachikawa nodded.</p>
<p>“Tired, I see.” Kazama rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Yeah, and I’ll be honest, I’m surprised to see you here Tachikawa, you always sleep in.” Kako chuckled from the other couch.</p>
<p>“Shinoda said he wouldn’t have any mock battles with me until I got my ass over here. He’s been sending me emails. I haven’t noticed them.” He leaned into the couch.</p>
<p>“Probably because you don’t check them.” Kako pointed out. He shrugged.</p>
<p>“Enough about you Tachikawa, how are you doing, Kazama? The other day Kizaki was telling us you had a lot of studying to do.” She had to bring up Kizaki, what else was going on in his life?</p>
<p>“Yeah, I got it done last night. I also had to do this guy’s,” He elbowed Tachikawa in the ribs, “paperwork. I get my shit done, unlike him.” She smiled, and Tachikawa winced in pain.</p>
<p>“Speaking of Kizaki, how is he doing?” Kako asked.</p>
<p>“Hmm? What do you mean?” Kazama was confused about what she meant.</p>
<p>She frowned, and Tachikawa raised his eyebrows. She noticed and turned towards him, “Tachikawa, can you promise to not speak of anything we talk about from this point on?”</p>
<p>He pushed his lips together and ran his two fingers along his them. “I won’t spill. I am interested in this, though.”</p>
<p>She nodded and looked at Kazama. “Whenever a couple of us were at the bar the other day, I kind of called him out on always spending time with you instead of the group. He always ditches us when you aren’t around.” Kazama's heart leaped for a sec. Kizaki was hanging out with him instead of with the group?  “The last time we went out on Saturday, he did the same thing. I was just wondering if he had said anything to you.”</p>
<p>He sat there for a second processing the situation, and Tachikawa, tight-lipped next to him, was getting ready to explode from not speaking for 30 seconds.</p>
<p>“Umm, he hasn’t said anything,” He shook his head, “I didn’t realize he was with other people.”</p>
<p>Kako sighed, “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” She looked past the pair to see Shinoda and Rindou going into the meeting room. She got up, “Maybe you should talk to him about that; it’s a dick move to the rest of us.”</p>
<p>He didn’t want to talk to Kizaki, that was the last thing he wanted to do right now. Last night was one of the most awkward situations he had ever been a part of and having to face him so soon after would send his heart into overdrive.</p>
<p>She walked over to the meeting room when Tachikawa shook him, “Come on, let’s get this over with.” He was avoiding the conversation, good. What wasn’t good was seeing Kizaki going into the meeting room after Kako. It would make sense he would be in this meeting; he is a captain after all.</p>
<p>Tachikawa noticed Kizaki and dragged Kazama with him, “Are you going to say anything?”</p>
<p>Kazama scowled. “Maybe.” No, he was not going to.</p>
<p>The meeting went as planned, Shinoda explaining events that are happening in the next week, Tachikawa blatantly fell asleep next to Kazama, and Kizaki glanced at him from across the room. When the meeting wrapped up, Kazama caught Kizaki staring at him. His face had a tint of red. Kako noticed too, and she went over to talk to Kizaki. When she was talking to him, Kazama saw his face get progressively redder as the conversation progressed. He tried not to stare, but it was unavoidable as his heart was beating out of his chest. Just being in the same room with Kizaki was making him feel knots in his stomach.</p>
<p>“What do you think they’re talking about?” Tachikawa whispered. Kazama jumped and whirled himself around to face him.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure. I haven’t been looking.” Tachikawa raised an eyebrow, “Really? Everyone else in the room noticed, and you’re saying you didn’t? I was asleep and saw what was going on." Kazama huffed and gathered his papers. He walked past Tachikawa, who was still following him like a puppy.</p>
<p>“I’m not asking for answers, but I’m curious, what is going on between you two?”</p>
<p>“Nothing is going on.” He retorted.</p>
<p>“I don’t know the guy well, but I’ve seen him enough to know he isn’t one to just burst into red out of nowhere.” Tachikawa had a point. He stopped in his tracks.</p>
<p>“What should I do then?” Kazama asked. Tachikawa raised his eyebrows, Kazama, asking Tachikawa for help? He was getting desperate wasn’t he? “You should talk to him.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Shit, that was the wrong answer. Kazama mentally slapped himself. The worst thing he could’ve done was get Tachikawa involved, and that’s precisely what is happening here.</p>
<p>He crossed his arms, “Something is going on here.” Kazama looked to the side, away from Tachikawa.</p>
<p>“I just can’t talk to him, ok?”</p>
<p>Tachikawa rolled his eyes, “Fine, if you aren’t going to be forward, what do you suggest we do?”</p>
<p>Kazama’s eye twitched in annoyance. “What do you mean ‘we’?”</p>
<p>“It seems like you need some help, and I have a couple of theories I would like to present to you.” The pair saw out the corner of their eye Kako and Kizaki separate. Tachikawa immediately capitalized on the opportunity. “Yo, Kako! Are you doing anything today?”</p>
<p>She walked over, and when she saw the annoyed look on Kazama’s face, smirked. “No, I don’t Tachikawa. Hey Kazama, do you have anything to do today?”</p>
<p>“Actually, I do I-”</p>
<p>Both Tachikawa and Kako took him by the arms and smiled at each other. “I’m so glad you don’t, Let’s go talk somewhere more private.” Kako cackled.</p>
<p>While the pair pulled him away, Kazama saw Kizaki looking at him. Kizaki had diverted his attention away from him, but Kazama had seen enough.</p>
<p>They had rushed him to the Kazama-Squad operating room and sat him down on their couch before Kikuchihara had time to question why he was getting kicked off his sofa. “We need to have an adult talk. Can you go away now?” Kako devilishly smiled. He would ask why they were holding his captain hostage until Kazama nodded towards the door.</p>
<p>He sighed, “What a pain.”</p>
<p>“And don’t listen in while you’re outside!” Tachikawa yelled at him.</p>
<p>Kazama crossed his arms as the door closed. His leg bounced under the table in annoyance. “I thought you said this bumbling oaf wasn’t allowed to speak of anything we talked about?” He questioned Kako.</p>
<p>“He’s too deep now, and we might need him for my next plan.” Kazama massaged his temples; he didn’t want to deal with these two today. Especially since they couldn’t keep their mouths shut. The pair had a history of being gossips. It seemed like every time he told Tachikawa anything remotely personal, the next day, someone would come up to him asking about what they discussed. With Kako, it always seemed like information about other people was just dropped into her lap. Kazama found out she has the only copy of the video that shows him fighting a postbox in front of some random bar. How she got her hands on that, not even she knows how.</p>
<p>Kako had been reading his thoughts and put her hands up, “I know I’m a bit of a gossip, but today I swear to you. I won’t say anything.” Kazama didn’t buy that for a fucking second. He narrowed his eyes towards Tachikawa.</p>
<p>“I mean if Kako won’t say anything, it must be serious. If she weren’t, it would spread like wildfire.” She jabbed him in the ribs.</p>
<p>“Do you want to know what I talked to Kizaki about?” Kako asked Kazama.</p>
<p>“Yes.” He said, near instantly. His brain was ready to grasp onto anything that had to do with Kizaki. He couldn’t contain a grin that would have formed on his face.</p>
<p>She smirked, “During the meeting, I noticed he was staring at you, so I asked him about it. He denied and then I asked if something had happened between you two.” Her smirk grew across her face, “You know what he said? Nothing had happened, but by then, his face was as red as a tomato.”</p>
<p>“That’s word-for-word what you said.” Tachikawa pointed out.</p>
<p>“So before I continue, I’m going to ask you. What happened?” Both of them were looking to him in anticipation. His heart raced faster when he remembered the night Kizaki had taken him home. His eyes shifted away from their stares, but he still felt their gaze bore into the side of his head.  He felt himself sweating, his leg bounced more violently. Kazama swallowed some saliva that had been collecting in his mouth, and he cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“It happened on Saturday. He said he wouldn’t let me walk home, so he drove me. I hadn’t gotten sleep in who knows how many hours, but when he brought me inside I... ” He had trailed off as Tachikawa and Kako were on the edge of their seats.</p>
<p>Tachikawa threw his arms up. “What? What did you do?! Did you have sex with him or something?”</p>
<p>Kazama was taken aback. Kako's eyes widened, “Did you?”</p>
<p>“No, I didn't, I just almost kissed him.” They sunk into their chairs. Kazama calmed down, seeing their reaction.</p>
<p>“That’s it? All this drama over almost kissing a straight guy? How anticlimactic.” Kako said.</p>
<p>“I know right, having sex with would have made it a little spicy. This isn’t even worth being drama.” Tachikawa murmured when a lightbulb went off in his head. “Wait, does this mean you wanted to kiss him?” Kazama looked away.</p>
<p>“Holy shit, you do!” He took Kazama’s hands and put them inside his own. His eyes were beaming, “I thought this would never happen! I feel like a proud dad!” Kazama took his hands back, disgusted.</p>
<p>“You two better not say anything. I don’t need this kind of shit going around.”</p>
<p>Kako put her thumb and forefinger together and ran it across her lips. “I won’t tell a soul. But I will say you should say something to him.”</p>
<p>Kazama scoffed, “No, it won’t do anything; it’ll just make him uncomfortable around me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but he’s your friend. He would understand, right?” All three of them thought to themselves for a second. Tachikawa broke the silence, “What did he think?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I mean, what did he think about you almost kissing him?”</p>
<p>“He hasn’t said anything. He might not remember.” Kako and Tachikawa rolled their eyes, “He probably does, he just didn’t mention it. Kako, didn’t you mention he went red when you brought it up?”</p>
<p>She nodded. “Yeah, Kizaki knows.” This whole situation was getting Kazama’s head pounding. Too much information was getting examined about his nonexistent love life. He had had enough.</p>
<p>He got up from the table and pointed to the door. “Leave.” They sulked as they got up from their seats. “You two should stop meddling in people's personal lives. You're going to piss off the wrong person one day.”</p>
<p>They walked out the door when Kako turned around, “I’m serious about you talking to him. It’ll be a huge weight off your shoulders.” He shut the door, and texted Kikuchihara it was safe to come back. He sat back down on the sofa, resting his eyes. It had been too rowdy today. He fell back onto the couch when he heard a chime from his phone. It pulsated through his head, making him groan.</p>
<p>“Shut up.” He whispered, another chime followed. He picked up the phone and winced against the bright light. He saw it was a text from Usami?</p>
<p>&gt;Hey, Kazama! I have some files in the storeroom that I need to get my hands on. Could you grab them for me and bring them over to the Tamakoma branch?</p>
<p>He was about to make Kikuchihara do it for him when he saw the second message.</p>
<p>&gt;I have some katsu curry for you if you stop by…</p>
<p>He was sold. He texted Usami he would be there later that night to drop them off. The rest of the day, he spent being productive; he went to practice with Kikuchihara and Utagawa, then met up with some other attackers to practice in some matches. He finished in the early evening and threw on some street clothes to head over to the Tamakoma Base with the files Usami wanted under his arms.</p>
<p>He knocked on the door to see the glasses-wearing girl smiling at him with an apron wrapped around her waist. The aroma of the curry flooded his senses.</p>
<p>“Hey! Thank you for coming by! It’s ready on the stove, grab a plate.” She took the files, and Kazama followed her inside towards the kitchen. He took a plate and sat down at the table, followed by Usami.</p>
<p>“Is anyone else around? Seems kind of quiet.” Kazama asked.</p>
<p>“Youtarou and Rindou are on the roof. Everyone else is at Headquarters, but they might be here soon.” She took a bite. “Oh, I forgot! Yuri is taking a walk.” He hummed and took a bite. The two of them had chatted little recently, so they had a lot to catch up on. While they were talking, Rindou and Youtarou came down from the rooftop upstairs.</p>
<p>“Soya! Hey, how have you been?” He took a deep breath, “and Shiori, what smells so good?”</p>
<p>“It’s katsu curry. We were just wrapping up so you two can have the rest.” Kazama gathered his plate and washed it in the sink. Rindou walked up next to him. “Mind if I talk to you for a bit?” Kazama was suspicious but followed him, leaving Youtarou with Usami.</p>
<p>They got up to the rooftop where Rindou lit a cigarette. He opened the package and pointed it towards Kazama. “Do you want one?” He took it graciously, and Rindou lit it for him.</p>
<p>They stood in silence over the balcony, admiring the city lights. Rindou took a draw of his cigarette and broke the silence. “Do you know what’s happening with Kizaki?”</p>
<p>Right, why would the two of them talk about anything else? “Something happened between us on Saturday.”</p>
<p>“Ahh, I thought so.” They both puffed out smoke. “I saw in that meeting this morning he was staring at you. Do you have something you need to tell him? Vice versa?”</p>
<p>Kazama leaned down to face the ground. Kizaki flashed in his mind. “I kind of do, but it might take me a bit to tell him.”</p>
<p>“Are you going to tell him you like him?” Kazama looked up, his eyes widened. “Who told you that?”</p>
<p>“I heard from an… anonymous source.”</p>
<p>“Bullshit, it was probably Tachikawa.” He took a breath instead of answering. Kazama flicked his cigarette and snuffed out the flame with his foot. “Many people have been telling me to say something, but it’s hard.” He looked towards the sky; the stars shone with a dim brilliance. “I don’t want us to stop being friends. I’m afraid he'll think I’m weird.”</p>
<p>“He’s been friends with you for years. He wouldn’t do that.”</p>
<p>“But what if he does? This has happened before.” He backed against the railing.</p>
<p>Rindou put out his cigarette and looked towards the sky like Kazama.</p>
<p>“You probably don’t know this, but before your brother died, he and Reiji were friends.” Kazama glanced over to him, “On the day of the funeral, he swore that he would make sure you didn’t end up the same way your brother did.” He looked straight into Kazama’s eyes. “He would be flattered, Soya, if you told him. If he reciprocates your feelings well,” He trailed off.</p>
<p>Rindou picked up both of their cigarettes and went back inside, leaving Kazama all alone. He laid down on the ground to fully immersing himself in the stars above him. The various stars sparkled and lit up the world with their color. It was cold, but he could feel their warmth radiating off of each other. Some of them were already dead, but their last light won’t reach the Earth for thousands of years. He could imagine his brother, Shin, watching him from above. Even beyond the grave, he continued to be the big brother he was when he was alive: A light in his life.</p>
<p>Maybe if he told Kizaki, his influence would be preserved even longer. Kizaki said he wouldn’t let him end up like Shin. He would protect him from that chaos. It was a pleasing thought. He looked up one last time to see the North Star, Polaris, radiating a glow brighter than any other. It seemed to flicker for a second before becoming even more gorgeous than before. He saw Kizaki in that star, a beacon for him to follow, a light in the dark. He was a star that needed to be told how much he was loved. He was still smoothing out the kinks, but Kazama finally resigned to the idea- he would tell Kizaki he liked him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Kazama ll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kazma woke up the next morning feeling like he had slept for years. His head didn’t hurt, he woke up at a relatively good time, and his body felt light, not sluggish like it usually did. He flung open the curtains letting the morning sunlight fill his room. He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his eyes with his palms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt awake, even his mind felt clearer. He glanced at the clock and realized he woke up a few minutes before his alarm. He smiled, today would be a good day.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opened his closet to find an outfit more than his usual casual wear, his mood was better than usual so why not a more than average outfit?  He picked an old collared shirt that he thought was form-fitting. Turns out it was so tight it would have bust at the hems the minute he stepped outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried the same with a couple of other shirts that had nearly the same effect. Fine, scratch the idea of actually looking good today. He threw on a normal long sleeve shirt and looked in the mirror. The shirt showed off his collarbone and his neck; it looked flattering but the best part was seeing the circles under his eyes gone. He didn’t realize he was smiling until he looked to his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t drop the smile until he shifted to his phone; he was almost late to his lecture at school. Oh shit. He gathered his things and ran out the door. He lived a block off campus so it wasn’t the worst run, and his professor was late anyway, so it didn’t matter. He settled into his seat and took out his phone. He had a text from Suwa.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>&gt;Hey man. :) You haven’t been out with us in a while. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with us?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perfect, that was his time to strike. He just needed to make sure Kizaki would be there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>&gt;Yeah, I’ll be there. Is Kizaki going to be there?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The lights dimmed as his professor started his lecture. He put down his phone and took notes while his phone rang. Over an hour later he had finished his notes, they were neatly laid out in his notebook with nice titles. He peeked back at his old notes to see a mess of chicken scratch and coffee stains: The handwriting of a caffeine-addicted college student. He closed his notebook, a little baffled, and picked up his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>&gt; ;) Yeah, He will be there, Kako and Tsutsumi too. :0 don’t tell them I told you this but I think they might be a couple. Just a heads up, they might be all touchy-feely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow; he didn’t think about it much, but the two hung out a lot. He just chalked it to them being the same age, and Tsutsumi being a victim of Kako’s cooking. Maybe he developed a resistance and found out her cooking is the key to achieving enlightenment. He shuddered, he would rather go to hell than eat another bite of her cooking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walked to the cafeteria to wait for his next lecture, and he grabbed a bottle of water on his way to sit down. He surfed on his phone for a few minutes. News articles, local sob stories, they were starting to bore him. He looked around at the freshman sitting at lunch tables, they could make good stories. As for himself, he couldn’t imagine anything noteworthy he had ever done, nothing to make a story out of. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked around, and his eyes widened when they landed on a familiar red-head. He wore a jacket that made his frame look even bulkier than before. Kizaki locked eyes with him, they smiled at each other, and he was bombarded with women from his classes. He was such a womanizer when he felt nothing for them, bulging muscles, sharp face, even his eyes screamed daddy material, but If he felt anything he turned into a putty, It was tragic seeing him interact with Yuri when he was younger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From afar he was having a good time but when he glanced at Kazama, his eyes were desperate. He mouthed ‘help me’ and Kazama threw his bag on to go rescue him. He was still a boy at heart like he was, a sexy boy with a fashion sense stronger than his, but a boy nonetheless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello ladies, mind if I borrow Kizaki for a second? I need to look at his notes.” They argued with him for a sec until Kizaki broke it up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I really need to go. Thank you for chatting with me.” The woman groaned until Kazama pulled him away. The pair walked into the hallway, Kizaki released the breath he was holding and Kazama crossed his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m tired of saving you, you need to make some boundaries with them, stop them before they get their hands on you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “They wouldn’t do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re an idiot if you think they aren’t into you. Actually, oblivious is the right word.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not oblivious, I just can’t notice those kinds of things well.” Kazama cocked his head to the side, A ‘yeah no shit’ look read all over his face. Kizaki smiled, his teeth barely peaking between his lips. Kazama grinned a bit in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re going out with everyone tonight, right?” Kazama asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was planning on taking it easy though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Same here.” He looked up and down Kizaki, “You look nice today.” He smiled even wider, a red spreading on his cheeks. Kazama backed away a sec to make sure Kizaki didn’t hear his heartbeat, he made sure the heat didn’t spread to his cheeks too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kizaki licked his lips, “When do you need to go to class?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced down at his phone. “Five minutes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” he nodded a couple of times, “Um, I heard you went by the Tamakoma Base, I could’ve been there before you left. Why didn’t you tell me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kazama shrugged. “Usami invited me, she wanted to catch up, you guys must be busy with those kids you're teaching.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, they’re a handful, Chika needs to learn to shoot people though, but I know she’ll get through this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’ll be fine, she’s learning from the best.” He scoffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? I’m the best?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think you are the best.” His smile dropped and he looked away. That came off a bit too sensual. They stood in awkward silence for a sec.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Umm I need to go, I’m going to see you tonight?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll see you then,” He turned away, “Oh, and I didn’t say it before but your shirt fits you well,” Kazama muttered thanks as he walked away. Every time he interacted with Kizaki, it left him feeling like he had crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed. He hated this tension, he was going to make sure it stopped tonight, possibly by ruining their friendship but, hey, could be worse right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stepped into his next class with a knot in his stomach, one tighter than usual, more noticeable than usual. He should have known the carefree attitude would disappear before the end of the day, he just hoped it would be later, not in the middle of the day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the beginning of the lecture, he left a hole in the desk with how much his pen clicked against it, halfway through the seminar his head started hurting and by the end, his body was begging for a coffee. He didn’t know it was possible to relapse on caffeine, but now he realizes why people called it a drug. To bring everything together, he forgot his pain medicine and had no cash to buy a coffee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kazama stalked out of the room, his mood a complete 180. His aura sent people flying away from him, and if they were not deterred by that his eyes screamed an even feistier ‘fuck you’. He needed coffee, he needed food, he needed medicine. He needed a nap, a long nap that preferably lasts forever. He couldn’t wait until tonight so he could get shitfaced with that blonde bimbo Suwa.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He went outside the campus to breathe. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. His head cleared up as the fog moved from his skull to his lunges. Slowly killing himself never felt better. Footsteps approached, and he heard a lighter click followed by a cough. He didn’t bother looking to the side; he needed to get a nap. He put his cigarette in the ashtray and walked away, his head begging for caffeine. He pulled out his phone and called someone to pick him up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The phone rang for a while before they picked up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Tachikawa are you on campus? I need a ride, can you pick me up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hummed through the phone, “Sure send me your location and I’ll be there.” Something about his tone of voice made Kazama suspicious. He was unusually submissive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is something up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I just- I’ll talk to you when I get there.” The phone clicked off and Kazama bounced his foot waiting for Tachikawa to swing by. He leaned his head back, concentrating on the street. Tachikawa’s car had a distinct sound that it made. He wanted to make sure he had as little connection with the car as possible, and speaking of the devil the deathtrap rolled up. Every couple of seconds a sound like a gunshot echoed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He threw himself inside the car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Ka-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Drive.” He shut himself up and shifted his car into drive. Kazama opened up the glove compartment in search of some painkillers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo, Kazama, what are you looking for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Painkillers. Anything like that.” Shuffling through the compartment he found condoms, crumpled up papers, a mysterious bottle filled with an unknown liquid, and a bag of weed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tachikawa gulped, “I have some in the middle console.” Kazama slammed shut the compartment and grabbed the bottle from the console. He took two pills and shoved them down his throat with no water. He looked to Tachikawa with death in his eyes. Tachikawa had both his hands on the steering wheel. “That’s not my weed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t give a shit if you have weed Tachikawa. I’m just wondering who in the world would fuck you.” He frowned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You must be in a bad mood.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you know I woke up with a good mood but now I just need a nap.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m guessing we’re heading headquarters then?” Tachikawa asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or you can drop me off at my place, whichever is easier.” Kazama put a magazine from the floor over his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got stuff to do at base, and I was going to ask you something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shoot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long have you liked Kizaki for?” He took off the magazine slowly, he felt like a coiled spring. When did his life start revolving around Kizaki? He clenched his fists. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For a couple of years. Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I was just wondering, like I had a crush on this… person for not even a month and I felt like exploding from everything.” Kazama felt like exploding right now. “How are you holding up?” He needed to calm himself down, he was so ready to be done with this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine.” Tachikawa eyed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are the most frigid person I know, what I mean is have you, you know.” He gestured towards himself, towards his crotch. Kazama looked at him like he was crazy. He shook his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you talking about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you been intimate with someone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re asking me if I’ve had sex with someone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” Kazama hung his head back, those painkillers were not kicking in fast enough. They were only a mile away from headquarters now, and he wanted to avoid that question. He hadn’t in an embarrassingly long time and Tachikawa didn’t wait for his answer as they pulled into the parking lot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been meaning to say this for a while, but if you ever wanted to fool around, you could ask me.” Kazama looked at him in shock. His eyes didn’t waver: he was serious. Kazama was speechless, his mouth stayed open, but he didn’t talk. Tachikawa nibbled on his lip a little, and he played with his car keys.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t really know if I like men so if you even, I don’t know, wanted a kiss, you could ask me.” He looked at everything in his car except Kazama but his tomato colored face showed everything. It’s not that Kazama was shocked because he was curious about himself, it’s just that he thought Jin was more his type, not himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you liked Jin?” Tachikawa locked eyes with him before tearing himself away again. “I don’t really know if he likes men, but I already know you do so…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...so since I’m gay I like all men and am incapable of having a friendly relationship with other guys. Got it.” He threw up his hands not getting the sarcasm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no! That’s not what I meant!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tachikawa it’s fine. I know you didn’t mean to offend. I think you should ask Jin though, I won’t do anything for you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He huffed, “How do you know that?” Kazama unbuckled the seat belt and put his knee on the middle console. He rested his hand on Tachikawa’s thigh, his other on the windshield, and leaned into Tachikawa’s face. He leaned away from Kazama’s body but closed his eyes anyway, still tense. His lips parted an inch. Kazama closed the gap and placed a kiss on Tachikawa’s lips. His lips were chapped, cold, and unmoving, Kazama noticed his body naturally shrunk away from him. He moved away from him and sat back down in his seat. He took his backpack, opening the car door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can tell you didn’t like that.” Kazama laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was fine.” He gritted through his teeth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Liar, try doing that with Jin. It’ll feel better, more intimate.” Tachikawa massaged his lips, recovering from the shock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be at the bar tonight, if you are going, I’ll see you then.” Kazama jumped out of the car and closed the door, leaving Tachikawa to stutter his last ‘bye’ and weakly waved at him. Kazama didn’t notice until he got inside that his headache went away. Maybe it transferred into Tachikawa.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He probably didn’t need a nap now, but that sounded appealing to him. He stopped in his tracks when he saw a vending machine in the corner of his eye. It was the only one around that took a card as payment. Now he had to choose if he wanted to sleep or coffee. Kazama looked in his bag to grab his wallet and walked down the hallway a minute later with his coffee in hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kazama walked towards his Squad’s room when he heard someone trying to sneak up on him. He turned around to see Jin about to pounce on him. He smiled and pulled a bag of rice crackers from the void that is his jacket, realizing he would not surprise Kazama. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you Kazama?” He munched on his crackers, leaving crumbs on his shirt. Kazama stared at him, his eye twitching a bit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doing good, just to let you know Tachikawa is looking for you.” He nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kind of figured. I don’t think he liked that little stunt you pulled on him.” Jin skipped down the hallway a few steps before turning and walking backwards. Kazama sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He had it coming spouting that nonsense. You should be grateful, and I know you’ve liked him for a while. You should say something, get out of the closet.” He smiled ear to ear and Kazama cursed how energetic these kids were. He and Tachikawa were only a year younger than him but seemed to have a playfulness with them. Now that he’s thinking about it, Suwa embodies that exact energy so it was probably just him being a stickler. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you probably didn’t come over here to just have a conversation right?” Jin shook his head, his mouth full of rice crackers. “Are you here to tell me my fortune?” He nodded his head and gulped down his crackers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you hate people talking about Kizaki, but, just watch what you say tonight.” Kazama raised an eyebrow at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright? If I don't, am I going to be killed?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smirked, “You might wish you we’re.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You always get me nervous, why do you younger kids always meddle in other people’s lives?” They stopped in front of his Squad’s room, Jin leaned against the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We started when you started using words like ‘meddle’. You’re only a year older, go out and have some fun!” He pat Kazama on the shoulder, “See you later.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jin walked down the hallway to go annoy someone else, leaving Kazama to think to himself. He’s just a stoic person, that didn’t mean he wasn't having a good time, he just didn’t show it. He walked inside to see Mikami and his other teammates circled around her monitors. He walked over to see a B-rank match going on the screen. Suwa, Suzanari-1st, and Nasu Squad were fighting in one of the cityscape settings, surprisingly Suwa squad was up by a point compared to the other two teams. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kikuchihara put his head in his hands, clearly bored. “They’re all playing defensively, it's getting super boring.” Utagawa nodded in agreement, and Mikami just smiled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kazama knew that Suwa was not a defensive person but he did know he was a good tactician. In this sort of fight none of them could compete with Murakami’s close-range skill, so getting together as a unit against him would be their best shot at gaining points. Taichi, the sniper for Suzanari-1st was down, which meant he didn’t have as much support and Suwa capitalized on that. As a team, they rushed Nasu squad by surprise, who were also blindsided by Kuruma, the last member of Suzanari-1st. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unfortunately for Kuruma, the firepower from Suwa and Nasu Squad blew him away but in the scramble, he managed to injure Suwa and made Nasu bail-out. Tsutsumi and Kumagai got into a tussle and with a nicely-placed shot, Tsutsumi was taken out by the Nasu Squad sniper. With her location shown Murakami went to swiftly take her out while Suwa and Sasamori used their firepower to take out Kumagai. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It became a stalling match after the three activated their bagworms and Murakami started looking for an opportunity to make a sneak attack against the two. When he finally found an opening there was an explosion and a bail-out. When the smoke cleared you could make out Suwa’s grin and Sasamori cheering next to him. They had been setting traps to detonate when Murakami would try to sneak up on them and luckily for the pair he landed directly on one.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The final score was 5-2-2, with Suwa as the victor. As they cheered Kikuchihara yawned to himself, “It got busier by the end but that was still boring.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Utagawa smiled, “You always think the B-rank wars are boring.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because they are!” Everyone laughed. Kazama knew he was going to get an ear-full of boasting later. He walked over to the table to start working on some paperwork. His squadmates occasionally sit across from him to do their own work, get his feedback on work, or just talk to him when he has a break between papers. He glanced at the clock in the evening to see he had been working for a couple of hours, the day always flew by when he had a lot of work to do. Suwa had texted him earlier to see if he needed a lift, which he gratefully accepted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blonde was overflowing with energy when he saw Kazama and pumped his fist in the air. Tsutsumi behind him waved and smiled at Kazama, who returned the greeting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suwa put his arm around Kazama and brought him in. “I am so fuckin’ ready for you to be back with us! How long has it been?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been at least a month.” He smiled and made eye-contact with Tsutsumi, “How is Kako doing?” He smiled to mask the slight red across his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s doing fine. She was a bit clingy the last time we went out so sorry if that’s distracting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, I’ll keep that in mind.” The rest of the trip to the bar was filled with mainstream pop music blasting from the speakers of Suwa’s car and Suwa himself singing at the top of his lungs. Tsutsumi sunk into the passenger's seat in embarrassment and Kazama chuckled to himself in the backseat. Suwa drove up into the parking lot and parked, lighting a cigarette. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna take a smoke break you two go ahead.” Kazama and Tsutsumi shrugged and gathered their stuff to go inside. They arrived later than usual, which wasn’t a problem as Suwa always had a table reserved for them, but around them, the tables were unusually packed. “Is today a national drinking day or something?” Tsutsumi asked, glancing nervously at the tables around them. Kazama was asking the same question to himself, it was a Wednesday, nowhere near the end of the week. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They turned a corner and Kazama’s heart skipped a beat. There at their table was Tachikawa, Kako, and Kizaki. Earlier, a part of him was hoping he wouldn’t be here but the other part of him had a primal need to be near him. It felt like cords were wrapped around his heart, it was stuffy, hard to breathe, his palms started to sweat. They hadn’t noticed him and Tsutsumi yet but Kazama was feeling the pressure. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He needed to get Kizaki alone but with all the people around it was going to be difficult. He approached the table to be greeted by the trio. Kazama slid down next to Kizaki who smiled at him. “How are you doing?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doing fine, Suwa won his rank match today so he might be going crazy tonight.” Kizaki laughed, and Kazama tried not to stare at him. Kako from across the table glanced over at the pair. She took a sip of her glass and winked at Kazama when their eyes met. Tachikawa did the same but made it completely obvious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kizaki raised an eyebrow,”What was that for?” He shifted his eyes between Tachikawa and Kazama. Kazama shooed him as casually as he could, but he couldn't dismiss the fact Tachikawa and Kako we’re staring at them. Kazama sighed, tonight was going to go by extremely slowly.   </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Kizaki lll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His heart jumped when Kazama sat next to him on the bench, the man’s cologne filling his senses. He was still wearing his long sleeve shirt from that morning and it fit him nicely; the fabric hugged his biceps and framed his collarbone like it was the center of a photograph. He tried not to move his eyes around too much, but he ended up seeing the winks from Kako and Tachikawa to Kazama.</p><p>He didn’t know what the schemers had in mind, but Kazama rolled his eyes and sipped on his drink. They didn’t bother him further, and it looked like Kazama knew what was going on.</p><p>He leaned in and whispered into Kazama’s ear. “So, am I out of the loop on something?” He felt Kazama shutter a little, “No, not at all, they’re just being idiots.” Kizaki smiled.</p><p>Suwa had come in a couple minutes later and claimed he would buy drinks for everyone for his win in the rank battle tonight. They knew he wasn’t going to, but it was the thought that counts. They ordered a round and everyone drank theirs. At the second, everyone but Kazama and Tsutsumi finished their drinks.</p><p>Kizaki was getting a buzz, and he saw Kazama’s face flush even more than his own. The man propped his head against his head. His eyes wandered around the table and landed on Kizaki next to him. Their gazes met and neither of them wavered, Kazama bit his lip, and Kizaki’s heart beating faster with Kazama’s every movement. The pair didn’t notice the bystanders, Kako and Tachikawa, who were watching the scene in awe. They only paid attention to the other's body. </p><p>Kizaki studied Kazama’s face. His raven hair fell, shading his forehead, and his eyes underneath reflected brilliantly against the artificial light in the room. He looked calm and his eyes were warmer than usual, but Kizaki could see underneath he was analyzing him in return. He was the only person who could make Kizaki shudder, the only person who made him feel like he was standing in a blizzard with no clothes on.</p><p>Luckily for him Kazama broke eye contact, “Kizaki, I need to tell you something when we get out of here tonight.” He played with his glass, trying not to let Kizaki see the growing red on his face. </p><p>Kizaki nodded, “Ok, why can’t you tell me right now?” </p><p>His mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Because you would be embarrassed if I said it right now.” He had their waiter bring over glasses of water for everyone. At the other end of the table Suwa had chugged his third glass of beer, Tachikawa chanting with every gulp. Everyone clapped when he was finished, and he stood up to bow like he was an actor at a stage-play. </p><p>Kako chucked and slid a glass of water his way, “You should drink some water Suwa. It’s only a Wednesday.” He shooed her away and slid next to Kazama, pushing him into Kizaki. Kizaki tried to scoot away, but Kako next to him gave him a deathly smile. Kazama and Kizaki's thighs touched, and Kazama put his hand across the table to brace against Suwa.</p><p>Suwa clung to Kazama by the waist and Kizaki could smell his alcohol tinted breath. Kazama could too. His face scrunched up, and he tried to get Suwa’s hands off of him to escape the potent smell. The man only wrapped himself tighter around Kazama’s waist. Kizaki felt annoyed, but he couldn’t place why. It’s not like this was new, Suwa had been clingy with him too something was different. He looked to the side to peek at Kako and Tsutsumi talking to each other. The ambient sounds in the bar drowned their conversation, but they were smiling and close to each other.</p><p>Near the end of the table, Tachikawa was smiling to his phone, probably sending videos and pictures to whoever he was texting to. And right next to him, Suwa and Kazama were shifting and bumping into Kizaki.</p><p>“Get off of me you alcoholic, you reek.” Suwa laughed in response, “Oh c’mon, I know you love me!” Kizaki blood boiled, and Kazama wheezed when Suwa started suffocating him more, “Geez, you get too clingy when you drink.”</p><p>Suwa smirked, “It’s your fault for being a little teddy bear.” He played with Kazama’s hair. Kizaki drank some water to cool himself down. He didn’t like getting so worked up. Kazama swatted Suwa off, and he settled next to him, loosening his grip. “Y’know you better not get rid of me, when you finally get yourself a man.” Kizaki felt a shiver go down his back.</p><p>Kazama sighed, “I won’t, you’ll just have to back off when he get’s rightfully sick of your shit, don’t you have a girlfriend? How would she think if she saw you like this?” He gave Kazama a cheeky smile, “She would love you. She’s not into all the cuddling and stuff, so you’re my only outlet.”</p><p>“Why not go cuddle with Tachikawa? He seems lonely over there.” Tachikawa looked over offended. “Hey! I’m not lonely!”</p><p>Suwa sagged into the seat with a disgusted look on his face, “He smells.” Tachikawa eyes widened, “You’re talking about me like I’m not here!” Suwa ignored him and reached in to whisper something to Kazama. They both chuckled to themselves.</p><p>Kizaki leaned over, “What are you two laughing about?” Suwa leaned across Kazama to whisper to Kizaki. “He’s probably mad because he hasn’t figured out why Jin hasn’t asked him out on a date yet.” Kizaki raised an eyebrow, “Jin wants to go out with Tachikawa?”</p><p>Kazama and Suwa nodded.</p><p>The black-haired man scoffed, “Kizaki you’re usually smart but anything romantic goes over your head.” Suwa agreed and Kazama called out to Tachikawa, “Tachikawa he can't smell anything, in fact, he’s probably smelling himself.” Tachikawa smiled and placed his hand on his heart. He looked like he would cry from happiness.</p><p>“And you,” Suwa poked Kazama in the side, “when are you going to say something to-“Kazama slapped his hand over Suwa’s mouth. Kizaki jumped from the sound. Kazama leaned into Suwa and whispered something to him. Suwa’s eyes jumped around. He was turning into putty the longer Kazama spoke. “You got it?” Suwa weakly gave him a thumbs-up and excused himself to go the bathroom.</p><p>Kizaki looked at him in shock, “What was that about?”</p><p>“If I said it out loud, I would have to kill you.” Kazama sipped on his glass and winked at Kizaki over his glass. He shifted away from Kizaki, there thighs no longer touching. Kizaki was cold without his leg being there.</p><p>Kazama cleared his throat. “So, what’s up with you? You said everything was fine this morning. Anything different?” Kizaki took a sip of his own glass of water. “Not really, I had some paperwork to do as usual, and cooking to do before I came here.” He paused for a second, “Nothing new.”</p><p>Kazama blinked a couple times, “How do you feel?” Kizaki looked at him confused. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Do you feel ok? Is there anything wrong you want to talk about?”</p><p>“No, why do you ask?”</p><p>He shrugged, “I just wanted to ask. People are good at masking their feelings, you know? I just want to make sure you are ok.” Kizaki felt fuzzy inside. Kazama’s face had a blush on his face. It grew like a flower when he made eye contact with Kizaki. He buried his face into the table, “That was weird and embarrassing, I shouldn’t have said that.”</p><p>Kizaki’s face heat like Kazama’s, “No, I just wasn’t expecting it. I really am fine. After the large-scale invasion everything has been calmer than it has been in a long time. The only thing keeping me occupied is training Amatori.”</p><p>Kazama dropped his tense shoulders and slightly smiled. “That’s good. I’m glad.” Kizaki looked at him, “Do you have anything to get off your shoulder’s? You look more tense than me usually. I wouldn’t be surprised if something has been eating you up inside.”</p><p>He looked down at his hands; he fidgeted his fingers and ran his thumb over his knuckles. “I do, but, there are some problems I don’t think you want to hear.”</p><p>“You can always tell me, how long have we known each other? Years. You can tell me anything, I will not laugh at you.”</p><p>He turned his head away from Kizaki. “If we are going to talk, let’s go outside.” They both got up.</p><p>“Yo, Kako.” She looked up from laughing with Tsutsumi, “We’re going outside for a bit.” She smirked and raised her eyebrows. “Ok, don’t try anything out there.” Kazama glared at her and Tachikawa who had opened his mouth to say something. He shut his mouth and gave the pair a thumbs-up.</p><p>They walked outside, feeling the chilly wind against their faces. Kazama let out a breath to see it freeze the moment it exited his mouth. “It’s been getting colder as each day goes by.” Kizaki nodded and they both sat on the sidewalk. Kazama took out a cigarette and a lighter.</p><p>“You don’t smoke, right?” He lit it and took a drag on the cigarette. He blew the smoke away from Kizaki.</p><p>“No, I don’t see you smoke much either.”</p><p>“Yeah, I smoke when I’m nervous.” Kizaki hummed.</p><p>“You’re nervous?”</p><p>“A little.” He took a puff of his cigarette. “I don’t have genuine conversations with people often.” Kizaki fumbled with his shirt. His body was stiff, but his hands were on fire. “I heard the other day that Amatori was chosen to be on the expedition.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s because of her high trion.”</p><p>He took another puff. “It’s kind of messed up, she’s a child. It reminded me of…” he took a gulp. He bounced his leg on the sidewalk. “It reminds me of my brother. He didn’t really tell our parents or I about joining Border with Rindou.”</p><p>Kizaki turned towards Kazama, who kept looking forward. The occasional car driving would draw his attention away for a split moment. “I hope she won’t get hurt, it’s harsh out there.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Kizaki smiled. “You still haven’t told me how you are feeling.”</p><p>He scowled, almost like he was hoping Kizaki would drop why they came out here in the first place. “All right, here it goes,” He took a deep breath.</p><p> “I’ve been doing the same thing every day for years. Go to school, paperwork, training, repeat. Infinitely until I die.” They heard an ambulance go by, “and I’m a coward.”</p><p>Kizaki smiled with his teeth showing, “How are you a coward? You’re always so headstrong, that’s so hard to believe.”</p><p>“I’m never honest with my feelings, that’s how I’m a coward.” He snuffed out the cigarette into a nearby ashtray and laid down on the concrete. “Whenever I was starting high school, that was the first time I had a crush on a guy.” Kizaki laid down next to him. “The first thought I had was, ‘There’s no fucking way’. I mean, I never saw myself liking men, and I hated myself for years.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah, I had repressed myself and even when I was older, I didn’t feel ‘gay’. If that makes sense.”</p><p>“I’m not following you, sorry.”</p><p>“No, it-it’s fine. It’s like… not feeling like you belong in a community that you think will accept you. I went to a couple gay bars and everyone was so overly sexual and quite shallow- I wasn’t their idea of what a gay man should be.”</p><p>Kizaki shifted to stare at Kazama. He had his eyes closed now, and his face twisted. He wasn’t trying to show any emotion, but Kizaki could tell he was hurting. “I didn’t feel I belonged there, and even at University some kids found out and called me a faggot.” He bit his lip.</p><p>“I… you guys make me feel better. You don’t make me feel ashamed about myself. I know that shouldn’t be a hard bar to cross, but after Shin died, I felt so alone.”</p><p>He sat up and took a lengthy breath. Kizaki sat up with him. “So, you didn’t talk to anyone? Not one person?”</p><p>“No, I didn’t know what was wrong with me.” He clutched his chest. “I was doing well in school, I had friends, I just felt something missing.” A passing breeze made Kizaki shiver and Kazama’s hair ruffle. His eyes were low. He sniffled a bit. “When you're in that mindset your body carries you. I was on autopilot, I felt nothing.”</p><p>Kizaki listened; he couldn’t say anything.</p><p>“It set me back so far. I don’t know how to deal with anything like this. I don’t know how to stop the butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know how to stop my body from feeling this. I don’t know how to express that I love someone.”</p><p>His eyes darted around. He looked straight into Kizaki, his eyes glistening. The wind blew into Kizaki’s face. The moonlight lit the pair like a spotlight, no one else was around. No cars, no people, even the wind had settled.</p><p>“Kizaki, how do I stop it from hurting?” He sounded desperate. He wanted to get rid of it. He shook his head, “Jin told me to watch what I said earlier today, but I can’t.” Kazama stood up, “I’ve been holding these feelings in for so long. I’m about to burst.” Kizaki stood up. He looked at Kazama. He didn’t know the right words to say.</p><p>“Say something, Kizaki. Anything. Please.” He read Kizaki’s mind. He had put his heart out on display, and Kazama was wondering what Kizaki would do with it. Would he poke it with a stick? Show it off for the world to see? Maybe he would keep it in a box forever and not let anyone touch it.</p><p>“Kazama you need to tell that person you like them.”  He nodded and rubbed his eyes. “It will only get worse; it can kill you.” He rubbed his hand through his hair. Kizaki gulped, his chest was in a knot. He didn’t know what to say.</p><p>He started laughing a little, “Kizaki you’re such a fucking idiot. Do I have to say it to you straight up?” Kizaki was taken by surprise on that one. He stopped laughing and looked straight into him, his red eyes piercing a hole in Kizaki’s chest. He cast a shadow as black as his hair down on Kizaki, his clothes rustled soundlessly in the wind. The moonlight weighed on his body, making it smaller than ever, but his eyes made Kizaki feel like he was prey. Kizaki was looking into the eyes of an apex predator, ready to tear him apart. His hair stood on end, all his senses begging him to run, but he knew he needed to stay.</p><p>The feeling of dread crumbled in an instant with eight simple words.</p><p>“Kizaki, I like you more than a friend.”</p><p>The monster before him shattered, his facade broke. The predator had been replaced with a tiny mouse, backed into a corner, resigning its hope of escape. Kazama shook, keeping his gaze with Kizaki. His eyes weren’t bloodthirsty, they were masquerading, hiding the schoolboy underneath who had just given a love letter to his crush. It made Kizaki shake himself. He could see the warmth inside. Under layers of icebergs, guarded by steel, he had cracked. Kizaki felt his blood burning, this man fell for him hard, and he hadn’t notice for years. He was a fucking idiot.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything, it’s been a long night. I'll talk to you later.” He turned and walked away. Kizaki tried to call out to him, but his throat caught him. He wanted to tell him to wait, to talk more. How long had it been? Why had he kept it a secret? Why was he just suffering in silence?</p><p>He couldn’t see Kazama walking down the street anymore, and his body felt frigid again. He said nothing. Not a reassuring word through Kazama’s entire display. He had spit on his heart and rammed a steak knife through it. His stomach gurgled in protest. His heart pumped in his ears, and yet blood didn’t reach anywhere.</p><p>He turned to walk inside and approached the table with his wallet in his hand. The four at the table stared at him.</p><p>“What happened?” Tachikawa asked. Kizaki didn’t respond and placed cash on the table that would cover his and Kazama’s drinks.</p><p>“I’m going home. Don’t stay out too late.” He was monotone, his words meant nothing. Their eyes followed him out. Even Suwa sobered under the depressed air. Kizaki got in his car and drove home. He let his body do the heavy lifting, his head felt trapped in a rewind of what happened. He played back how he could have said anything different, anything to help him cope. At a red light, he slammed his hand against the steering wheel.</p><p>He didn’t say a fucking thing.</p><p>He sped home, nearly running a stop sign, and slumped out of his car. The only thing on his mind was Kazama. His legs carried him through the door, to see Rindou and Yuri sitting at the table. They could feel something was off.</p><p>“What’s wrong Reiji?” Yuri asked, closing the book she was reading. Quietly, the door behind Kizaki closed. “I had an awful night.”</p><p>“Clearly.” Rindou said, his gaze still fixed on his laptop. Yuri smiled half-heartedly and took Kizaki’s jacket after he took it off.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Yuri was always the motherly type. The type who never cared about her own feelings and only wanted to comfort people when they were hurting.</p><p>“Yuri, do you bottle up your feelings?” Shock ran through her, and she knew Kizaki was asking genuinely. She ran her fingers over the tag of the jacket.</p><p>“I do,” She looked at the table and saw Rindou had left to his room, “but, I have someone who I confide in.” Her eyebrows raised slightly, “Did you talk with someone?” He nodded and melted into the couch. Yuri sat down next to him.</p><p>"I didn't realize he had been hurting so much and when he told me I froze. I didn’t know what to say and I think I ended up hurting him way more than if I had said something.” She smiled and scooted closer to rub his back.</p><p>“You know, sometimes the other person can see it in your eyes.” An image of Kazama’s eyes popped into his head. Sometimes those gems were his only outlet to display his emotions. “If you’re listening, they will tell. With most people at least.” Rewinding Kazama’s emotional out-pour, he hadn’t looked in his eyes, the exception being before he left. He hoped Kazama had noticed him wanting to say something.</p><p>In defeat, he threw his head into his hands. “I’m an idiot, Yuri.”</p><p>“You’re not an idiot, you were there at their tipping point.” She put her hand into his own. He looked up and Yuri gave him a faint smile. Usually this would be enough to send his heart into overdrive. Heat would flow through him, and his tongue would tie knots around itself. But not tonight. Tonight, he looked at Yuri and didn’t see stars or a goddess, he saw her as a woman, his friend.</p><p>“Kizaki, you’ve been acting different recently.” She leaned into him, and he leaned away. “I don't mean to derail this conversation but, do you still like me, Kizaki?” He looked away from her and grimaced.</p><p>“I don’t think I do.” She shuffled away from him on the couch and sighed. She looked towards Kizaki again. “Do you want to try?”</p><p>“Try what?” Kizaki asked. Her face grew red, and she hid her face with her sleeves.</p><p>“Kissing me. To see if you like me anymore.” He raised an eyebrow. Her eyes peeked over her sleeves. He was star-struck by her forwardness but agreed with a nod. He didn't know why he agreed. Wordlessly they leaned towards each other.</p><p>He had been waiting years for this moment, but now that it was happening, he didn’t feel a rush. This woman who he had dreamed about at night for years was in the palms of his hands. They inched forward, and their lips connected. They stayed there for a few seconds and it was… weird, to say the least. Her lips were soft against his own, and he felt like any movement would hurt her.</p><p>He felt warm, but combined with Yuri’s it made an uncomfortable mixture. Heat radiating from her neck stopped Kizaki from touching her, and Yuri touching his hand made him flinch. He didn’t like this. She seemed fragile, like a porcelain doll. She wasn’t anything like Kazama. With Kazama, their bodies complemented each other; He was cold as ice and Kizaki’s body was fiery enough to take it. They broke apart and Kizaki felt ashamed.</p><p>“You didn’t like it did you?” He shook his head.</p><p>“Yuri, why did you want to kiss me?”</p><p>She stood up, “I’ve never seen you as a boyfriend, Kizaki, but seeing you move on made me think of how attractive you are.” He blushed a little and rubbed his neck sheepishly.</p><p>“I wanted to see if we could try to go on a date. But now, I see I was wrong.” She smiled and wiped tears forming in her eyes.</p><p>“I’m sorry to put this emotional load on you again.”</p><p>“It’s fine, I understand.” He smiled.</p><p>She grabbed her book. “Goodnight Kizaki, I hope you get someone you love.” She walked away from Kizaki toward her room. She turned off the kitchen light on the way out to leave Kizaki in the dark. Ringing in his pocket shook him out of his trance. He brought out his phone, and his heart skipped a beat seeing Kazama’s name light up. He answered the phone as quickly as he could.</p><p>“Hey,”</p><p>“Hello Kizaki,” Kazama’s voice sounded raspy, it made Kizaki’s stomach turn.</p><p>“What’s up?” Kazama hummed through the phone.</p><p>“I realize I kind of left you hanging. I just wanted you to know whatever you want our relationship to be, I’ll respect it.” Kizaki could hear his defeated tone through the phone. Sniffles periodically breaking his talking. “I just don’t want us to… not be friends. I- “</p><p>“Kazama?” Kizaki interrupted.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Do you want to go on a date tomorrow?” The silence spoke more than anything he could have said. Kizaki could hear him stammering through the phone, and Kizaki chuckled.</p><p>“How about we go see a movie? We can catch dinner after that.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes, I’ll pick you up tomorrow, I can send you some movies we can watch.” He heard shuffling through the other end.</p><p>“That sounds good. Um, Have a nice night Kizaki.”</p><p>Kizaki smiled into his phone, hoping Kazama would feel it.</p><p>“Sleep well Kazama.” He hung up the phone, and Kizaki laid down on the couch. He had a fuzzy feeling in his heart, and a weight lifted from his head.</p><p>He got up to change into a comfortable outfit. He fell on his bed, and threw the sheets over himself. He set his alarm in the morning and laid his head against the pillow. The sound of rushing cars flew by, soothing him to sleep, and the last thought he had was of Kazama getting sleep too.</p><p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Kazama lll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kazama’s spent the night tossing and turning in his bed. He felt hot, even striped down to his boxers. He was sweating all over and the cooler being broken was his biggest downfall. He made his way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water; it hit the back of his throat in a wave. His next drink had droplets rolling down his chin, onto his chest.</p>
<p>His head had been jumbled up from the night at the bar, and he shed a few tears to himself. After all these years, he would go on a date with Kizaki tomorrow. Even thinking about it seemed foreign. He could feel his face heating and his stomach filling with butterflies. He almost felt like throwing up. He had waited so long for this moment and now that it was finally here, his body was in a constant state of nervousness.</p>
<p>When he was younger, he thought this would be the turning point; he thought all his worries would go away by finally having what he wanted. Now he realizes all his problems were amplified instead. Even something as simple as not being in the right environment was causing him to lose sleep.</p>
<p>He returned to his bed and stared at the mess. The sheets were kicked to the feet of the bed, making a ball. He laid in bed trying to get rid of any thoughts before flipping his pillow over to absorb any cold it had. The pillow had created the perfect equilibrium for him, and he was soothed to sleep in seconds.</p>
<p>Even in his sleep his body felt light, but when his dreams rolled around, he was grounded in a harsh nightmare. An umbrella shaded him, and a thunderous downpour surrounded him. In front of him was a grave, the headstone reading ‘Kazama Shin’. The flowers in his hands had withered, and the grave already had grime on it. Kazama’s eyes lowered. He felt stuffy in the suit he was wearing. This day had been heartbreaking, everyone at the funeral pitying him. The smell of a cigarette filled his nose, Rindou walked up next to him, and placed a bouquet on Shin’s grave.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” That was the only thing he had said to Kazama that day, and those were the only words that had ever broken him down in his life. He didn’t even realize his tears splattering onto the ground. The other members of Tamakoma surrounded the grave to give their condolences. A certain redhead was the last one to step up to the grave.</p>
<p>He puts down his flowers and turns to Kazama, his eyes devoid of life. He had no umbrella, and the rain flowed off his hair. Kazama looked down to the ground, shading his face against Kizaki. He almost felt ashamed of showing his emotions. He should be tough.</p>
<p>“Kizaki I-“He was cut off by Kizaki bringing him into a tight hug. At first he was stiff, then he loosened the longer he was in Kizaki’s arms. He dropped his umbrella and fully sunk into the bigger man. He closed his mind and let the rain flow down both of their bodies. He fully leaned into the bigger man, his warmth wrapping around him like a secure blanket. He didn’t want this to end. Kizaki’s heart was beating steadily, no hitches or moments of going off beat.</p>
<p>“Kazama, I won’t let this happen to you.” His face heated, and he tried to wrap his arms around Kizaki. The tips of his fingers touched behind Kizaki’s back. Kizaki took his hands off his waist, and cupped Kazama’s face. Kizaki had closed his eyes and leaned into him, his eyes fresh with tears. Kazama closed his eyes and instead of opening them to see Kizaki, he saw the wall of his bedroom.</p>
<p>The alarm on his phone had gone off, flooding the room with a screeching chime. He reached up to turn the alarm off, his hand missing the first few times before letting the beast fall asleep. He groaned, flinging himself up. His eyelids felt heavy, and his pillow had tears on it. Light from outside flowed into his room, onto his bed, and right where Kazama had sat up.</p>
<p>The heat felt good compared to last night. Heated by the sun, he groggily got up and stumbled into the kitchen. He grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat down on the couch. The only sound was birds chirping outside.</p>
<p>His phone also chirped at him a few minutes later, and he saw Kizaki had texted him. He wrote a list of movies on the theater in the evening. Kazama’s eyes landed on a horror movie. He saw it had decent reviews online and asked to see that one. He thought Kizaki had mentioned going to dinner, so he texted him first.</p>
<p>&gt;So, what would you want for dinner after that?</p>
<p> &gt;We can play it by ear. If I’m not tired, I might make you dinner at Tamakoma.</p>
<p>Kazama smiled and took another bite of his cereal. He was looking forward to tonight. He threw open his curtains with a new vigor and ran his hands through his hair. In the shower he made sure he scrubbed every nook and cranny in preparation. He blowdried his hair like normal and stared at himself in the mirror. He felt nervous looking at all his imperfections, his face had hints of red pimples and he felt hair growing longer on his face. It made him feel better shaving the small hairs, and he rubbed some concealer into his skin to hide the pimples.</p>
<p>His phone told him it would be near freezing that night, so he set out a warm outfit: a long-sleeved turtleneck, jeans, casual shoes, with an overcoat to complete his look.</p>
<p>For now, he was wearing lounge wear while he had paperwork to work on. With a coffee mug next to him, he typed diligently on his computer, occasionally sipping on his drink. Not long after he started his phone rang, and he saw Kako’s illuminate on the screen. He answered the phone and clicked the speaker button.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“Hey, Kazama.” Her voice had a mischievous tone.</p>
<p>“What’s up?”</p>
<p>“I was just wondering what you and Kizaki were doing on your date tonight?”</p>
<p>Pause. How in the hell did Kako know they were going on a date? It was midnight when the two of them had talked. How did she find out so quickly?</p>
<p>“Kako you scare me sometimes, how did you find out we were going on a date?” She laughed through the phone. It sent shivers down Kazama’s spine.</p>
<p>“I told you a couple days ago I have little birdies everywhere. And I told you telling Kizaki would help you. Look at what’s happening, you two are going on a date!” She was a little too enthusiastic for his liking, but she was right. Her and Tachikawa.</p>
<p>“I’ll admit, I appreciate you helping me out, but I don’t need you interfering anymore. You, Tachikawa, and Jin need to back off now.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Kazama. When will you admit you are a terrible romantic?” His eye twitched with that one.</p>
<p>“Really? You think so?” He made himself sound aggressive. Kako only chuckled in return.</p>
<p>“Luckily for you, Kizaki is also a hopeless mess. You two complement each other well. So, you never answer my first question. Where are you two going tonight?” Kazama’s face burned a bit. He wasn’t used to portraying himself as a being a couple with someone else.</p>
<p>“We’re seeing a horror movie and go to dinner after.”</p>
<p>“Dinner after the movie? You risk not having a good time at the movies and having an awkward dinner.” Kazama pinched the bridge of his nose, Kako was getting him nervous about this date. Yes, he was nervous before, but now he was this added pressure on his shoulders.</p>
<p>“Why do you think I don’t get you involved in my personal life Kako?”</p>
<p>“Because I annoy you and I point out the flaws in your plans?”</p>
<p>“You hit the nail on the head. But the idea to eat after the movie was actually Kizaki’s idea.” Kako huffed through the phone.</p>
<p>“Fine, I’ll let you go. Have a nice night. Don’t get too frisky, ok?”</p>
<p>“I won’t, see you later Kako.” He clicked off his phone and interlocked his fingers. He started focusing on his work again so he wouldn’t have anything to worry about after tonight. It was a light workload and Tachikawa, surprisingly, told him he would do his homework himself. He said that with a wink, Kazama guessed he would just get someone else to do it instead.</p>
<p>He would still do Tachikawa’s paperwork for Border, mostly because he would end up doing it anyway, and he still had a deal with Shinoda to uphold. Exams had finished so there weren’t many assignments due. He had the entire day to do minimal assignments and boring paperwork. Unfortunately, he had to deal with nosy people calling him too.</p>
<p>The second person to call him that day was Tachikawa. The moment he had mentioned him in his mind, his phone rang again. He rolled his eyes and once more answered the phone and put it on speaker.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“Yo, Kazama!” Tachikawa yelled through the phone, Kazama could hear faint crunching in the background. Kazama sighed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Tachikawa is that Jin in the background?”</p>
<p>“Yep! He’s just relaxing with me at my place. How are you and Kizaki doing? I heard you two hit it off.” How in the fuck did Tachikawa know? He suspected Jin, but Kazama thought he had higher standards than telling Tachikawa.</p>
<p>“How did you find out?”</p>
<p>“Oh well, I heard from Kako, who talked to Mikami, who gossiped with Usami, who heard from Rindou, who had a conversation with Yuri, who overheard you talking with Kizaki last night.” Kazama stopped his typing for a second and stared into nothing. He picked up them and put it right against his mouth.</p>
<p>“Tachikawa, how many people know about this?”</p>
<p>“Um… let me count.” The munching sounds echoed through his apartment as he waited for Tachikawa to finish counting. He could imagine Tachikawa counting on his fingers as he heard the man whispering the numbers to himself.</p>
<p>“At least twelve people.”</p>
<p>“It took you that long to figure that out?”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter how long it took me I just wanted to tell you that if people mention them knowing about it, it isn’t a secret by now.” Kazama twitched, and he massaged his temple.</p>
<p>“You should have listened to me.” Jin said through his munching. “I told you should have watched what you were saying.” Kazama was flabbergasted.</p>
<p>“That’s what you were talking about? People finding out about us going on a date?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, what did you think I was talking about?” Kazama slammed his forehead on the table.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, maybe the other 95 percent of the night where I thought Kizaki would laugh at me for liking him?”</p>
<p>“He wouldn’t do that; the only way he would’ve rejected you was if you did something ridiculous like try to rip his clothes off or something.” Now both Jin and Tachikawa were munching on Jin’s crackers. The munching and smacking swirled through Kazama’s ears.</p>
<p>“So, you two just called to tell me that?”</p>
<p>“Yep.” The pair said simultaneously.</p>
<p>“Geez, you two are just like Kako, getting all up in my business.” They laughed through the phone, “We do it because we want to see you succeed.” That was probably a lie, they just enjoyed seeing him squirm is what it was.</p>
<p>“Right, right, well I need to get working on your paperwork, Tachikawa, and Jin you should probably tell Tachikawa your little secret about him.” He could feel Tachikawa staring at Jin, it didn’t look like Jin’s foresight was working as planned.</p>
<p>“What do you mean Ka- “      </p>
<p>“I really need to get going, bye Tachikawa!” If Jin was messing with his life, he would do the same back to him. It was only fair that he also experiences some embarrassment. He was sure Jin was trying to avoid the situation and Tachikawa, being a straightforward guy, is deflecting his distractions.</p>
<p>Hopefully, no one else would distract him for the rest of the day. He glanced at his clock, he still had a few more hours until Kizaki and him would go out. He continued to work until he had an hour left to relax. He debated eating a snack but wanted to stay hungry for the movies.</p>
<p>He got himself dressed and fixed his hair to make sure it wasn’t looking like he just got out of bed. His outfit looked neat, and he added a belt to make him look chic. He felt confident in himself; he looked good. His phone vibrated on the sink; it was Kizaki.</p>
<p>&gt;I’m on my way over to your place. Do you want me to pick up anything for you?</p>
<p>He smiled and felt a fluttering in his chest.</p>
<p>&gt;No, I’m fine, I’ll be ready when I get there.</p>
<p>He felt his heart beating faster. He hadn’t even seen Kizaki yet, but he already felt like a mess. He slipped his shoes on and waited on the couch. A couple minutes later he heard a car drive up, and the car door shut. There was a knock at the door, and Kazama prepared himself. He opened the door to see Kizaki waiting in front of him.</p>
<p>“Hey,” He said.</p>
<p>“Hey, Kizaki.” Kazama grabbed his stuff and walked out with Kizaki. He was nervous. His hands fumbled with his keys. He locked the door and turned around to see Kizaki smiling at him. Kazama eyed his outfit. He had a jean jacket over a plain white shirt that barely held in his muscles. The pants he wore hugged his thighs and hips that shamed Kazama for thinking of what was underneath. Even his hair was looking soft, and it made him want to run his hands through it.</p>
<p>“I’ve noticed you stare at me a lot.” Shit, he was looking for too long. He looked away from Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I know it feels awkward.” He smiled and lead Kazama to his car.</p>
<p>“No, I’m flattered honestly.” Kazama’s stomach fluttered. He was sweating like a madman.</p>
<p>“Then I guess you wouldn’t mind me saying you look handsome today.” It was his turn now to look embarrassed, Kizaki had a weak point when the two talked. Kazama found that anything romantic sent Kizaki into a nervous panic. His face had turned red.</p>
<p>“Ah, y-you too!” God, he was so cute. Kazama strapped into the car, Kizaki doing the same. The theater wasn’t too far away, only a couple miles down the street. Kazama stared out the window and Kizaki glanced between him and the road in front of him. Clearing his throat, he attracted Kazama’s attention.</p>
<p>“I heard this movie is pretty scary. There were many seats already taken in the theater when I was buying the tickets online.” Kazama hummed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I saw that too, if you want me to buy the snacks since you got the tickets I wouldn’t mind.”</p>
<p>“No, I can get it. I want to treat you on our first time out.” Kazama softly smiled. His nerves were getting the better of him before, but now that the atmosphere has shifted, he was getting comfortable. He loosened his tense shoulders, and he peeked over to see Kizaki doing the same.</p>
<p>“I guess both of us are nervous.” He stood straight again, like Kazama had caught him in the act. He nervously chuckled.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess so. It’s a little stuffy in here.” He rolled down his window, letting the chilly breeze flow through the car. Kazama kept looking towards him.</p>
<p>“What do you want to talk about? To fill this silence?” Kizaki played with the steering wheel while sitting at a red-light. He shrugged.</p>
<p>“You say you want to take me out on a date, but you have nothing to talk about? Sounds a little counter-intuitive, don’t you think?” He cocked his head to the side. He saw Kizaki’s face overflow with red.</p>
<p>“I, um, didn’t really think- “</p>
<p>“I’m teasing you Kizaki neither of us have been on a date in a while. It’s going to be awkward for both of us.” He fidgeted in his seat and glanced at the GPS.</p>
<p>“We aren’t that far anyway, why don’t we just listen to some music to cool things down?”</p>
<p>He turned on the radio, and with perfect timing the host was announcing the next song.</p>
<p>‘This song goes out to all you love-birds out there right now! I know there might not be many of you on a Thursday, but tonight anything is possible! Hope all of you are dancing along to this sweet new song called ‘Imma’ Take You Back To My Place Baby’ by the very talented B.A.R.! Hit it DJ!’</p>
<p>Kazama tried to stifle his laughter, but after the sappy song started playing, he couldn’t contain himself. He burst out laughing while Kizaki held on to the steering wheel for his life. Kizaki was sweating bullets. The bad timing had backfired. Kazama saw this as a perfect time to twist the knife a little more.</p>
<p>“Did you plan this Kizaki? Are you trying to tell me something by playing this song?” The man’s face looked like a washed tomato, his mouth gaping open. Kazama was still cracking up in the passenger’s seat and he nudged Kizaki to make sure he was still alive. He blinked slowly, trying to comprehend how turning on the radio made the situation worse for him.</p>
<p>“I, I can’t, I don’t,” He stammered and couldn’t get out more than a few words. Kazama had settled down, his chest hurting and tears forming in his eyes. They drove into the parking lot, and the car nestled to sleep. They stepped out of the car, Kizaki still in shock.</p>
<p>“Let’s go Kizaki, we want to get good seats before other people take them.” He nodded and Kizaki led them through the theater towards the ticket counter. They passed through the gate and up to the snacks counter. Kazama wanted to get his own snacks, but Kizaki insisted he get them, and paid for the candies, popcorn, and drinks gratefully.</p>
<p>“Why are you so insistent on paying for this?” Kazama questioned.</p>
<p>“Oh, Karasuma works here so I get discounts on food and tickets.” Kazama sighed, and Kizaki chuckled.</p>
<p>"You could have just told me that.” Kazama muttered. They approached the ticket counter and handed the kid their tickets.         </p>
<p>“It’ll be in theater 9 to your left.” He said deadpanned. The worker ripped their tickets off and ushered them towards the left part of the theaters. Right next to the sign labeling ‘theater 9’ was a sign in bold red lettering that read: ‘The Walking Zombies, The Movie, The Reboot’.</p>
<p>“I didn’t realize it was a reboot.” Kizaki said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I thought I had heard nearly the same title somewhere before.” They both shrugged and entered the theater. Many seats were already filled near the top of the theater. Couples, groups of friends and a single old lady were below them as they sat at the very top of the movie theater. They were snacking on their sweets as other people settled into the seats below them. As the lights dimmed for the movie, they realized no one was in the surrounding row.</p>
<p>Kizaki leaned in to whisper in Kazama’s ear, “I guess we’re all alone up here.” His voice was deeper than it usually was, and it sent a shiver through Kazama. He didn’t know if it was because of the theater etiquette, or because he wanted his voice to sound sexy, but it worked either way.</p>
<p>The movie had started, and they set up the world as being overrun by zombies, go figure. The main character was a ditzy girl whose breasts defied gravity when she ran. She ended up being cornered by a group of zombies when the love interest comes in shirtless to save her. They instantly see sparks with each other and continue the story, meeting other characters along the way.</p>
<p>Kazama and Kizaki watched intently, invested in the characters they were watching. They both continued to snack, their hands knocking into each other occasionally. One time when they were both grabbing popcorn, Kizaki hand ran over the back of Kazama’s. His fingers were on blazing and they flinched a bit. It was just a quick moment, but his warmth spread throughout Kazama like a fire. It made him sweat, and he glanced at Kizaki, who felt it too.</p>
<p>Half-way through the movie they finished their food and the armrest between them was empty. Kazama had placed his arm on it, running his thumbs over his knuckles. On screen it was nearly the climax of the movie; the girl was trapped by a rival gang of humans, and zombies had invaded their base. The rival gang desperately tries to fend off the hordes while the two main characters travel around the base trying to find each other.</p>
<p>Kazama noticed Kizaki had placed his arm next to his and their sleeves were touching. He kept looking down, seeing if Kizaki would move, losing focus on the movie. Kizaki looked like he had felt the same, Kazama caught him staring at their hands and they locked eyes for a second. Kazama said nothing, but his eyes must have given it away. Kizaki took his hand and intertwined it with his own.    </p>
<p>That was the moment Kazama exploded with knots in his stomach and throat. The heat from Kizaki was slightly overbearing, but for Kazama he was used to feeling cold all the time. The heat was being balanced by his natural coldness, but Kazama moved his face out of Kizaki’s sight not to let him see the rising heat on his face. The movie was nearing its ending and Kazama hadn’t been actively watching in over twenty minutes; he concentrated too much on Kizaki’s hands to be bothered with the movie.</p>
<p>His hands were huge compared to his, and the veins in his hands were bulging under the pressure he was feeling. His nails are neatly clipped, and his hands are rugged, callouses scattered across his them. Kizaki was focused on him too; his thumbs occasionally ran over Kazama’s palm, sending sparks up his arms. The movie was ending; an unexpected zombie had infected the man, and the girl was riding away on a boat. The last shot of the movie was of the man putting a gun to his head, and the gunshot went off as a black screen replaced the shot.</p>
<p>The credits rolled and Kazama let go of the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. The room brightened, and people were exiting the theater. Kizaki let go of his hand and stood up. Kazama massaged his own hand and suddenly felt cold without Kizaki’s touch.</p>
<p>“Ready to head out?” Kizaki asked. Kazama nodded, and the two walked out of the theater. Kids who had been watching the movie with them were scattered outside the theater.</p>
<p>“Mind if I take a smoke break?” Kazama asked.</p>
<p>“Sure, I don’t mind.” Kazama took out a cigarette and lit it with his lighter. It was so cold outside the lighter needed a few clicks before providing a flame. Kazama breathed in the smoke and breathed it away from Kizaki.</p>
<p>What did you think of the movie?” Kazama asked Kizaki.</p>
<p>“I thought it was fun, the zombies were creeping me out, they ran fast.” Kazama nodded. He noticed that a group of kids were pointing at them and pushing a kid over towards them. Kazama tried not to look suspicious when talking to Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Don’t be obvious but those kids are looking at us.” Kizaki hummed and glanced up for a second. In the corner of his eye Kazama saw one kid walk towards them, boldly. He walked with confidence. He was probably the ‘leader’ and waved to Kazama when he got closer.</p>
<p>“Hey dude!” Kazama immediately didn’t like this guy, and his voice annoyed Kazama. He turned towards the kid, who smiled as he walked up.</p>
<p>“Hey, I was wondering if you had any cigs you could give me and my friends?” Kazama shook his head,</p>
<p>“Nah kid, you don’t look like you can buy them so I’m not giving you any.” He crossed his arms.</p>
<p>“C’mon kid, you’re underage too! Don’t be a dick!” Kazama just rolled his eyes and Kizaki, seeing things getting more hostile, walked over, puffing up his chest.</p>
<p>“Is there a problem over here?” The boy eyed Kizaki up and down and backed up a step.</p>
<p>“I’m just asking for some cigs man; I’m not trying to get hostile with your friend.” He threw his hands up in defense and backed up a few steps.</p>
<p>“I am overage kid. Just so we are clear,” Kazama said. He was visibly sweating and backed up even farther with Kazama’s harsh glare. He gave up and returned to his friends in defeat. Kizaki’s brow furrowed.</p>
<p>“Does this happen to you often?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, they think I’ll give them cigarettes and when I don’t, they usually think they can pressure me into it.”</p>
<p>“Do you ever have to give them some?”</p>
<p>“Yes, there are sometimes too many of them and I just give them the rest, so they don’t try anything.” He laughs and shakes his head. “Sometimes cops roll by and asks to see my ID because I look so young.” Kizaki looks over concerned.</p>
<p>“You deal with this a lot, don’t you?” Kazama looked up at him and took another puff of his cigarette.</p>
<p>“Kizaki, I’m not a hunk like you are, people don’t leave me alone when I tell them I don’t give them a cigarette or whatever they want.” He threw the cigarette into an ashtray nearby, and he smiled at Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Well, now that I’m here you won’t have to deal with that as much.” He smiled back at Kazama, who’s heart nearly burst. It had moved down to his stomach and the junk food they had eaten during the movie wasn’t filling enough. He heard Kizaki’s stomach rumble.</p>
<p>“I’m getting kind of hungry, where do you want to go to eat?” Kazama wanted to stay close by so they didn’t have to drive too far. He didn’t know the area by the Tamakoma base well, so he was trying to figure out places nearby his place. A lightbulb went off in Kizaki’s head.</p>
<p>“How about we go to that Aji-jiman Ramen place near Tamakoma?” Kazama nodded, he had no idea where that was but it sounded good.</p>
<p>They got back to Kizaki’s car and when the pair jumped in Kazama thought the two of them were getting closer, even more than before. Going on a date made him more open with Kizaki; not fearing rejection was making him bold.</p>
<p>The car hummed to life as Kizaki hesitantly turned up the radio. Playing was a typical pop song from an American band. The pair had no idea what they were saying, but it sounded good enough.</p>
<p>“What kind of music do you usually listen to?” Kizaki asked him. Kazama shrugged, “I don’t listen to too much music. It’s mostly podcasts.”</p>
<p>Kizaki nodded, looking impressed. “I can’t listen to them, they make me tired. I could only watch podcasts at night.” Kazama lightly smiled.</p>
<p>“You just need to find the right ones to listen too. It’s like music, there're some genres that you just don’t like.”</p>
<p>“I hadn’t thought about it like that.” They filled the rest of the drive with pop music softly playing in the background. Kazama looked out the window to admire the bright lights. The only times he could see the lights at night were when he home at night and taking the bus. In Kizaki’s car he could see them without having fluorescent lights blinding him or worrying about getting mugged.</p>
<p>In the distance, Kazama could see the lights for the Ramen restaurant. He was getting hungrier the closer they got. He could tell Kizaki was speeding, and Kazama smiled at how desperate he was. They sped into the parking lot and speed walked inside. The lights in the restaurant were dim and highlighted the kitchen, the only part in the store with regular lighting. There weren’t many other people around, but Kazama noticed the B-rank agents, Murakami and Arafune.</p>
<p>The pair were holding each other's hands on the table and were deep into a conversation. They let go of each other when Kazama glanced at them, their faces growing crimson red. He smiled and gave them a wave out of Kizaki’s sight. Murakami smiled at him, and Arafune buried his head in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Ah, Kizaki! Getting your regular?” The server lit up when the pair entered and greeted Kizaki with a joyful smile. Kizaki nodded and Kazama ordered his own bowl from the menu above the ordering counter. Kizaki led Kazama over to a booth in the back of the store. They had a full view of the store, but with the dim lighting it blurred many of the patrons faces beyond recognition.</p>
<p>“So, you come here often?” Kazama asked. Kizaki nodded, as a different server came over with utensils and waters.</p>
<p>“Jin and I talk here a lot, there’s a lot of background noise so no one can snoop in on our conversations.” Kizaki’s stomach rumbled, he blushed in response.</p>
<p>“That makes sense. I remember Jin telling me at one point he enjoyed going to a local Ramen place.” He played with his utensils, trying to keep his mind away from his stomach. It wasn’t working very well. The smells wafting from the kitchen were enough to make his stomach ache and rumble like Kizaki’s.</p>
<p>“Maybe we should have eaten before the movie.” Kizaki nodded, clutching his stomach.</p>
<p>“I agree.” Kazama thought the cook had heard their rumbling because their food came out a minute later. The server asked if it looked good, Kazama already digging into his ramen. He nodded, Kizaki following him. They ate in silence, the background noise of the kitchen drowning out the sounds of their slurping and munching. Kazama looked past Kizaki to see Arafune and Murakami talking again, occasionally glancing at Kazama.</p>
<p>He didn’t realize the two were a couple, but wasn’t going to make an enormous deal about it.</p>
<p>“Kazama, do you know of any other agents in Border who are gay?” He nodded and tried not to slurp his noodles.</p>
<p>“Jin and Tachikawa, you already know about them. B-rank agents as well, some younger kids are masquerading it as being overly friendly, but I can see through it.” Kizaki was tearing through his bowl, nearly finished. He beckoned over the server to get him a second one and Kazama asked for a glass of alcohol.</p>
<p>“Don’t look now but Arafune and Murakami are at a table in the corner.” Kizaki’s eyes widened. “I know they want to keep it a secret so I haven’t said anything. I’m surprised they’ve kept it hidden this long. I don’t think they would mind you knowing, and I guess your kind of ‘in the club’ now.” Kizaki hummed and looked deep in thought. Kazama guessed he didn’t know that there was a queer subculture in Border, few people did.</p>
<p>“Who else is there?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Like, who’s in the club?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, can you give me names?” Kazama took a drink of his water and cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“I would rather not, many of them are teenagers and would be scared shitless if you knew.” Kizaki looked at him funny.</p>
<p>“Why would they fear me?”</p>
<p>“Because you are intimidating.” Kazama said coldly. He took another drink, studying Kizaki’s face over the rim of his glass.</p>
<p>“And you aren’t?”</p>
<p>“At least those kids can look me in the eye, some of them need to look down. And until recently you didn’t like guys. Why would they talk to you about it?”</p>
<p>“So, a lot of those kids go to you for guidance?”</p>
<p>“Bingo.” Kazama drank the rest of his glass and took another bite of his food.</p>
<p>“Sometimes you need someone with an outside view so they come to me. No one has asked to talk recently, which is good.” Kizaki smiled and Kazama tried to get one more bite out of his ramen.</p>
<p>Kazama had gone through half the bowl and was slowing down. He knew he could stuff the rest down his throat, but the task felt daunting.</p>
<p>“Damn, how do you have the appetite to eat two of these?”</p>
<p>“I eat a lot more than you do.” The server set down the second bowl, and Kazama’s beer. Kizaki dug into the fresh bowl immediately. “Maybe if you got some actual nutrients, you could eat as much.” He said between bites.</p>
<p>Kazama glared at him, “What does that mean?”</p>
<p>“You had nothing good in your fridge when I helped you put your groceries up the other day.” He took another bite, “Maybe you wouldn’t be so petite if you ate better meals.” Kazama angrily chewed his food. He didn’t know how his mood had changed so fast.</p>
<p>“I mean you would probably be taller and more muscular if you ate some better food.” He chewed his food so peacefully, like he wasn’t thinking about what he was talking about.</p>
<p>“I mean I stopped growing when I was in highschool so you can’t blame it on that.” He mumbled. Kizaki had caught up to what his mouth was spitting out and stopped.</p>
<p>“Shit, I mean, it’s just your so…” He trailed off and looked to the water and alcohol glasses. One was noticeably bigger than the other.</p>
<p>“Small.” Kazama finished his sentence. “Small is the word you're looking for.” He nodded shamefully. Kazama sighed and put down his bowl for good.</p>
<p>“What do you think of me? ” Kazama asked, sipping his beer.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Kizaki asked.</p>
<p>“Why did it take you this long to realize you liked me? And what do you think about my body?” He shrugged.</p>
<p>“When you told me you liked me I kind of looked back on all we’ve been through and realized I wouldn’t have done some things if it were anyone else.” Kazama nodded and drank more of his beer. Kizaki ate more of his ramen.</p>
<p>“What I think about your body…”</p>
<p>“I’m not a woman, Kizaki.”</p>
<p>“I know that.”</p>
<p>“So, how do you see me sexually?” Kazama was trying to ask the hard questions. He saw Kizaki’s face heat under the light. He must have known this question was coming. Kizaki had only liked woman his whole life, and now, after 21 years, he asked a man out on a date.</p>
<p>“I, I don’t know yet.” He fidgeted with his drink. He was trying to avoid the question.</p>
<p>“Kizaki, if I were to touch you, would you move away from me, or let me touch you even more?” His face grew redder, he looked to the side, away from Kazama’s gaze. It looked like he would not give Kazama any answers.</p>
<p>“I’ll drop it. I’m sorry I asked.” He was getting more bold from the alcohol in his system, it was a blessing and a curse. They ate in silence for a couple minutes. Kizaki had eaten again, but the red on his face stayed the same.</p>
<p>“Whenever you ask me questions like that, I turn into putty.” Kazama looked up at Kizaki, who still hadn’t looked at him. He felt guilty.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to wrap my head around this whole situation.” Kizaki looked up into Kazama’s eyes. He was slightly frowning. His eyelids were lower than they had been.</p>
<p>“It’s getting late, Kizaki. We should take some time to think on things.” He nodded and slipped the waiter his card. When he returned Kazama downed the rest of his drink and cleaned up their table. Just as they were leaving Murakami and Arafune gave Kazama a reassuring smile. It’s like they knew, probably from Kizaki’s easy-to-read face. He grinned back and walked out with Kizaki leading him.</p>
<p>In the car ride home it was dead silent, it was uncomfortable and Kazama opened his window to have any noise roll through the car. He looked over at Kizaki, who still held a slight frown. They approached his apartment, and Kizaki put his car into park. They both got out and walked up to the door.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I made things uncomfortable.” Kazama said. He felt ashamed. He had asked him a weird question, on their first date no less.</p>
<p>“It’s all right, I still had a great time. Would you want to go out again soon?” He smiled, genuinely this time. Kazama nodded and turned around to put the key into it’s the lock.</p>
<p>“Well, goodni- “</p>
<p>“Kazama.”</p>
<p>“Ye-“ He turned around and Kizaki planted a kiss on Kazama’s cheek. Kizaki’s rosy lips curled into a smile. Kazama just stood there, shocked. He wanted to say something, but his throat was closed. He could feel heat rising to his face.</p>
<p>“I’ve never seen you blush this hard.” Kizaki pointed out red filling up his face too. Kazama tried to shake off the butterflies and go back to his normal mood.</p>
<p>“I just haven’t had someone do that to me before.”</p>
<p>“Ahh, well your face is burned into my memory now.” He smiled, and Kazama smirked.</p>
<p>“Next time aim for my lips and I’ll give you something to blush about.” Kizaki backed up, Kazama could see the steam rising off his face.</p>
<p>“Goodnight Kizaki.” He waved as Kizaki opened up the car door, still looking at Kazama.</p>
<p>“Goodnight Kazama.” He said. He got into his car and drove away. Kazama stepped into his apartment and collapsed against the door. He felt like he was melting. He shred off his clothes and jumped in the shower. The cold shower ran down his body, but it didn’t help. Even when he flew open this windows to feel the freezing breeze outside, his cheek still had Kizaki’s lips burned into it.</p>
<p>It spread throughout his body; his entire body was burning with this unimaginable sensation. A couple days ago he had an itch impossible to scratch. Now he was living in euphoria, with a drug named Kizaki.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things are going to get more explicit next chapter, just warning ya'll. Also the chapters are getting longer so expect the updates to get more scarce in the future. This is just the beginning. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Kizaki lV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kizaki got home, he slipped to his room to rewind. His face had cooled down from the wind outside, but his heart continued to pump fresh blood to the rest of his body. He was walking around on a high, his body was trying its hardest to keep hold of the cold Kazama emitted. He rewinds the memory to see his hands laced within his own, and his lips were still cold from Kazama’s cheek. The image of Kazama blushing from his actions made his heart flutter.</p><p>He laid down on his bed, his head was in the clouds. He licked his lips, and the taste of Kazama was still there. Throwing off his clothes he leaned against the headboard. His head was a mess, and he walked to the kitchen to grab a couple beers. Chugging the first one to feel the buzz, he drank a second to feel more sensitive.</p><p>The cold can touched his chest and made him flinch. A couple drops from the can spilled onto him and he grunted. His head was getting foggy. He glanced at the clock. 1 A.M. He didn’t think anyone was up but wanted to stay silent, anyway. Grabbing his shirt from the date, he shoved it into his mouth. He breathed in his shirt, a mix of his and Kazama’s smells.</p><p>He relaxed a bit and dug his hand in his boxers. His eyes closed, he thought about Kazama and his lips, his cheeks, especially his hands. His dick was already semi-firm under his hand from his thoughts. He stifled his moans through the shirt in his mouth. He had no problem getting himself hard, and he popped his boner out of his boxers. The cold from the air was no match for the heat radiating off of himself.</p><p>He started stroking himself harder. The thought of Kazama passed through his mind. His lips after their date were puffy, red, he was chewing on them all night. His hands had a touch that made him feel hot and bothered. At the ramen store he saw how Kazama’s tongue worked around his food and moved across his drink. He moaned into his shirt, his dick was leaking pre-cum and it ran down lubricating himself even more.</p><p>He saw Kazama licking his lips, looking over at him, hungry. His eyes had always made him look like he was prey, and he was ready to be consumed by the tiger he is. He threw his head back in ecstasy. He wanted to be swallowed by him, or; he wanted his dick to be, at least. He bit down into his shirt like his life depended on it. His cock twitched under his hand, and he bucked his hips slightly.</p><p>He could imagine Kazama playing with his dick, putting it into his mouth like a popsicle. The more he thought to himself, the faster he went, his face heating from the vivid imagery. He swirled his thumb around the head of his cock, feeling his body shivering all over.  </p><p>His body had finished building pressure. With one last moan, he felt cum spray over himself. His head felt foggy from the pleasure, and he spit out the shirt to get himself more oxygen. It had been a while since he had masturbated; it hadn’t taken himself long to finish.</p><p>He had cum onto his chest, his sheets, a lot had dribbled down his cock. The heat had subsided, but he felt ashamed. Kazama’s question, ‘what would you do if I touched you?’ had been answered. He wanted to slap his past self. Again, the dude didn’t respond. The same scenario from the night at the bar and he still fucked it up. He sat up in his bed. He felt sticky and went to take a shower. It was so late he nearly fell asleep in the shower.</p><p>He got all the cum off himself and cleaned himself up from the stress-inducing day. Somehow, he still felt as dirty as before. He blow-dried his hair, trying to get it as dry as possible. He gave up after a couple minutes after almost dropping from exhaustion. Throwing himself onto the comforter caused his body to feel twice its weight. Chilling AC blasted into his room, and he threw all his blankets on top of himself. He wrapped himself into a ball before succumbing to his sleep deprived body.</p><p>He hadn’t dreamed of anything in a long time. Tonight, he knew in his mind he was having a dream. It was summer. He and Kazama were sitting across from each other at a metal table, an umbrella shading the pair. Salty waves crashed onto a shore not far away, and the mist hit him lighter than the breeze did.</p><p>They were eating an ice cream sundae, a can of whipped cream to the left and a glass of cherries in the other. Kazama was wearing a loose tank top that left nothing to the imagination. He shoveled the ice cream into his mouth; the bowl was never ending. Kizaki gulped, they had been making eye contact this whole time. He put down the spoon for a second and tipped his head back to spray whipped cream into his mouth. With every gulp, his adam’s apple bobbed up and down.</p><p>He slammed the can back down and licked his lips of any remaining cream that escaped his mouth. He took a cherry and twisted it by its stem.</p><p>“Have you tried to tie a cherry stem in your mouth, Kizaki?”</p><p>“No, I haven’t.” He took the cherry into his mouth and bit into it. Red juices flowed down his lips, his chin, and stopped on his chest, right before the hem on his tank top. The amount of juice was unrealistic, but what wasn’t was Kazama’s tongue moving inside his mouth. He presented the stem on his tongue, it was tied, and it had webs of saliva dripping off it. Kizaki noticed his teeth were stained red from the cherries; his lips were redder too.</p><p>“I’m good with my tongue.” He made eye contact with Kazama, who stared back into him harder. He could feel his eyes undressing him. He got up from his seat and beckoned Kizaki to follow him towards the beach.</p><p>Kizaki sat on a blanket Kazama forced him to sit on and they stared into the ocean. The water was darker than Kizaki thought ocean water should be. As it lapped against his toes, he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. Kazama next to him took a cake out of nowhere.</p><p>“Do you want some cake, Kizaki? I baked it myself.” He took a spoon-full of cake and shoved it into Kizaki’s mouth. He smiled and then slapped the cake onto Kizaki’s face. He fell over, and Kazama straddled him. His eyes burned with a passionate rage as Kazama held his collar.</p><p>“Do you understand what I’ve been trying to tell you Kizaki?” He shook his head. Kazama scoffed. “Of course you don’t, why in the fuck would I expect you too?”</p><p>He looked towards the horizon. The wind had changed direction, and Kizaki followed his gaze towards the ocean. In the distance, a massive wave was approaching. Kizaki felt a cold sweat run down his back. He effortlessly flung Kazama off and ran away from the shoreline.  </p><p>“You can’t escape it Kizaki.” Kazama’s voice echoed in his mind, “Just accept it, and it will all be okay.” Mist had clouded his senses; the sound of waves rang louder in through his ears. He looked behind him for a split second to see the wave right behind him. He froze for one step and the wave crashed into him, wiping him away.</p><p>His eyes flew open, and he sat up straight in his bed, his eyes focusing in the morning light. The sun barely peaked the horizon, and he heard birds chirping from outside. A cold sweat coated his body. He had only gotten around 5 hours of sleep, but with the vivid dream he was on high alert.</p><p>He put his hands on his heads and tried to calm down his heart. He put on some lounge wear and headed into the living room. It was barely lit from the sun outside and it was too early in the morning for anyone to be making breakfast. He felt unusually hungry and grabbed a snack for himself. He went up to the roof to watch the sunrise. Thoughts jumbled his head from his dream. He didn’t know what it meant.</p><p>He pinched the bridge of his nose; he felt dumb for not understanding the contents of his dream. He daydreamed for a long time until he heard the door to the roof open. Turning around, he saw Rindou, already in his usual suit.</p><p>“How did your date go last night?” He looked up at Rindou, whose glasses shaded his eyes. Kizaki took a deep breath.</p><p>“It was good, awkward but, it was nice.” Rindou nodded and lit a cigarette for himself.</p><p>“I might be looking at it wrong but, you don’t seem too happy.” Rindou was good at reading the room. Today Kizaki was trying to mask his feelings, but with Rindou he felt guilty hiding things from him.</p><p>“It’s not that I didn’t have a good time. I just don’t really know where to go from here.” Rindou took a puff of his cigarette and stepped up to the railing. Kizaki did the same and prepared himself to receive some wisdom.</p><p>“I wouldn’t know either.” He took another draw of his cigarette. Dumbfounded, Kizaki stared at him. Rindou kept his head forward, he only moved his hands along the railing.</p><p>“That’s it?” The older man nodded.</p><p>“What did you think I would say?”</p><p>“I don’t know, advice? I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do.”  He was annoying Kizaki. “Didn’t you give Kazama advice?”</p><p>“I did because he just needed a push. You’re asking how I can help you with a weird situation. I have no idea how I can help Kizaki.” He slumped a bit and sighed.</p><p>“The only advice I can give you is to wait a couple days. See how you feel and go from there.” Kizaki massaged the back of his neck. He was right, his head was foggy, and it was too soon to tell what he wanted to do next. He wanted to go out with Kazama again but didn’t want to be pushy. It had been so long since he had been in a relationship he didn’t know what to do. Was he going too fast? Was he not pushy enough?</p><p>The past few days had been hectic. He would enjoy relaxing for a few days. Kazama probably needed a break too. This situation had turned his world around, that was partly Kizaki’s fault. He texted Kazama, feeling slightly sick in the stomach. It was early in the morning, but he wanted to get this out of the way.</p><p>&gt;Hey Kazama, I had a wonderful time last night we should go out again sometime.</p><p>He hovered over the send button. He bounced his leg, hearing Rindou shift next to him. He held down the ‘back’ button and started over.</p><p>&gt;I had an excellent time, I would want to go out again soon. I just think we both need to take a minute to think about how we want to go forward with this.</p><p>Did that sound too professional? He felt like he was sending a message to a colleague, not someone he was going out with.</p><p>“Go back to the first text, and when he responds, say you need to think.” Rindou had been looking over his shoulder. Usually he wouldn't like feeling Rindou’s breath on his shoulder, but he gave Kizaki a second opinion. He was unusually sweaty, and he licked his lips.</p><p>          He ended up sending the first message, and eagerly awaited Kazama’s reply. He and Rindou went back inside towards the kitchen. The rest of the house was waking up, so Kizaki started to make breakfast for everyone. Usami was one of the last one’s down. She yawned at first but when she saw Kizaki her eyes lit like a fire.</p><p>“Ah, Kizaki! Let me help you.” She took out a skillet to fry some eggs while Kizaki was getting out batter for pancakes. Usami was smiling more than usual, and she had a pep in her step. When Kizaki opened up the fridge, she struck.</p><p>“So, how was your date with Kazama?” He jerked his head towards Usami. He looked around and pulled Usami closer to him.</p><p>“How do you know about that?” She adjusted her glasses.</p><p>“I heard from Rindou who talked with Yuri who overheard you talking with Kazama.” She grinned with her teeth showing. Betrayed by his roommates, his hands drag down his face.</p><p>“Usami, how many people know about this?” She smiled.</p><p>“I’m not sure!” Great, just what he needed. A bunch of people knowing about his personal life.</p><p>“Does everyone here know?” She shrugged.</p><p>“Not sure, but seeing it started here, probably.” He let out the breath he had been holding. He got the milk he needed from the fridge and poured glasses for everyone, Usami bouncing behind him.</p><p>He prepared breakfast and put it on the counter for everyone to take as they please. Konami jumped over first, followed by Yuma and Yuri. As Yuri grabbed her plate, she gave Kizaki a forced smile. He had forgotten about what happened between them, her eyes looked slightly puffy and she looked paler than usual. He saw Youtarou sit to her right on the couch trying to make her laugh, Hyuse next to him ignoring everyone, and Jin sat to her left backing up Youtarou’s jokes.</p><p>It was so obvious something had happened between them even Konomi had noticed</p><p>“Do you know what happened to Yuri?” Konami asked Kizaki.</p><p>“We had an argument a couple days ago.” She frowned and crossed her arms.</p><p>“What did you do?” She was already accusing him of doing something bad. He let out a breath and grabbed himself some food as he talked.</p><p>“Like I told you, we just had an argument.” She opened her mouth, “A personal argument.” She closed her mouth. Kizaki had noticed long ago that when he said something was personal, she would back off. It had a lot of uses for messing with her, but she could tell his aura was more depressed than usual. Everyone had finished their food and Kizaki had only played with his food.</p><p>His phone chimed at him and he picked up his phone nonchalantly. He saw both Kazama and Kako had sent him messages. He checked Kako’s message first.</p><p>&gt;I heard from Kazama your date went well! &lt;3 When are you too going on a date next?</p><p>After reading through the entire text, he saw Kazama had sent another message. He clicked on it.</p><p>&gt;I had a good time too. I would want to go out again, but I hope you don’t mind me saying I want to think about everything for a couple days.</p><p>&gt;Not that I don’t want to go out it’s just a lot has happened, and I need a break for a minute.</p><p>He smiled and mentally pumped his fist into the air. Kazama had felt the same way about keeping some distance for a bit. He let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.</p><p>          &gt;I agree I’m honestly glad you said that because I was having a hard time saying that myself haha.</p><p>He went back to Kako’s message.</p><p>&gt;Actually, we are going to just think about things for a while, sorry to get your hopes up 😊</p><p>He was hoping Kako would get his sarcasm, but knowing her, she would just ignore it. He saw Kazama had responded.</p><p>&gt;I’ll talk to you later, Kizaki, have a nice day.</p><p>His heart was beating fast. Kazama had just told him to have a nice day, and it gave him a visceral reaction.</p><p>“Your face is getting red.” He jumped at Jin’s voice, and the sound of him putting his dishes in the sink. Kizaki tried to massage the red out of his face. Jin smirked to himself.</p><p>Karasuma and Konami offered to wash and clean the dishes, so he put on a fresh pair of clothes. He called to Osamu, Yuma, and Chika he was ready to take them to school. The 4 of them hopped into the car and he drove to drop off Chika since her school was closer to Tamakoma. With only the boys in the car, Osamu cleared his throat.</p><p>“Reiji, can I ask you a question?” He glanced to Osamu for a sec before focusing on the road again.</p><p>“Sure, what is it?” He played with his thumbs for a second, and his tongue tied trying to start his question.</p><p>“Umm, I- uh, was, -er, heard, you were going out with Kazama. Is that true?” It was getting annoying how often Kazama was being brought up in his life. He felt a vein popping on his forehead and Osamu noticed too.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine. Yes, I went on a date with him.” Yuma in the back seat nodded along.</p><p>“So, Reiji, is he your boyfriend?” Reiji eyed Yuma from the mirror. He sighed and tapped on the steering wheel.</p><p>“I’m not sure. We just hung out for one day. We haven’t put a label on it yet.” They had arrived at their school, and they stepped out of their car.</p><p>“You two,” Osamu and Yuma turned around to Reiji. “Say nothing to anyone, ok?” They nodded in sync.</p><p>“All right, have a good day. Call me if you need a ride.” They smiled at him and Reiji rode off towards his own university. He remembered Kazama mentioning he didn’t have any classes today, so he didn’t have to worry about running into him. He was preparing himself for possibly of running into him, but that was a problem for later.</p><p>He grabbed his bag from the backseat and headed inside towards his first class. Walking towards his class, he saw Tachikawa in the corner of his eye. His mouth shaped into the shape of a cat’s and he pranced over to Tachikawa.</p><p>“Hello, Kizaki.”</p><p>“If you say anything about Kazama, I will walk away right now.” His face drooped, and Kizaki pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t realize my life revolved around him now.” Tachikawa perked up again.</p><p>“Hey! That’s what Kazama said!” Kizaki raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Really?” Tachikawa perked up and furiously shook his head up and down. A bell rang through the school, and students flooded through the hallways.</p><p>“Well, have a nice day Tachikawa.” He turned around to hear Tachikawa yell after him.</p><p>“Tell Kazama I want a mock battle sometime!” He sped away and arrived at his class to see his classmates walking inside. He got in line behind everyone and sat in the back of the lecture hall. He didn’t want anyone to notice him, he just wanted to get through today’s lecture.</p><p>The lights slightly dimmed, and the professor started his lecture. Kizaki had a hard time staying awake. The monotone voice coupled with his lack of sleep and the dimmed light caused him to take a power nap on his textbook. When the lecture was ending Kizaki woke up with drool all over his notes.</p><p>Many students were leaving for their next classes, and Kizaki gathered his stuff to do the same. He walked out of the lecture like a zombie. He was woken up unexpectantly from his power nap and he was teetering on unconsciousness again. He walked over to the cafeteria and could hear someone calling out from behind him.</p><p>“Kizaki are you ok?” He rubbed his eyes and looked down. Cologne hit his nose, and his eyes met with the red-eyed man. He saw the raven hair and shot awake. Kizaki stepped back and his heart skipped a beat.</p><p>“Kazama? What are you doing here?” He cocked his head to the side and put his hands on his hips.  </p><p>“I’m here to give some papers to my professors and Tachikawa. I let that asshole push his work onto me again.” He sighed and shook his head. “So, how are you doing?”</p><p>“I slept through my first class and will probably do the same in my next class.” Kazama snickered and Kizaki felt it ripple through his body. Kizaki hadn’t noticed before, but Kazama has a dimple that shows up on the left cheek.</p><p>“Did I keep you up all night? Is that why you’re so sleepy?” He hated that he blushed so hard. It was difficult to get Kazama flustered, but somehow anything he did tore Kizaki apart.</p><p>“No, I was just tired. Also, I saw Tachikawa by the English department earlier.” He smiled a bit and moved his backpack closer to himself.</p><p>“Thank you, I really need to go find him. See you later.” He winked and spun on his heels towards the English department. Kizaki wobbled into a chair and sank into it. His legs had turned into putty, and he needed a break. A one-minute conversation broke him apart. Before this situation happened, he didn’t feel like this. He didn’t get jealous, he didn’t get flustered, or embarrassed. Maybe it was like what Yuri had felt about him. He didn’t realize his feelings until Kazama had said something to him. He felt a knot in his stomach. Even when he was merely thinking about him he felt butterflies.</p><p>He shook off his feelings and walked towards his class feeling heavy. His next class was a joke. They were reviewing last term’s work and with Kizaki passing with flying colors he only needed to sit and listen. He played on his phone but put it away when the professor called him out on it.</p><p>“It’s super boring, right?” The woman sitting to the right of him smiled. He smiled back.</p><p>“Yeah, sometimes I regret taking this class. The amount of backtracking is ridiculous.” She hummed in agreement.</p><p>“Well, after this is over would you want to have some coffee with me and my friends?” He was taken back by her forwardness and just laughed awkwardly.</p><p>“I think I will pass but I’m flattered, anyway.” He could see the happiness in her eyes fade away. She rubbed her hands together and turned away from him. He looked at the clock and saw they had half an hour of the lecture left.</p><p>“Sorry, I came off strong. You’re cute, I just wanted to hang out a bit.” He was surprised she called him cute, but something about it felt wrong. The way her voice raised at the word ‘cute’, the way she kept fluttering her eyes at him, even the way she smelled, flowery, felt off. It was girly. With Kazama, his voice dropped when saying something embarrassing, his eyes were trained and focused, and he smelled like, a man.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m taken.”</p><p>“I should’ve known. I’ll back off, you got a lucky girl.” He didn’t correct her but felt guilty for not. She turned back to her own work, Kizaki doing the same. His pen meandering across the page as the lecture went through one ear and out the other. The lecture finished, and he walked outside with a yawn. He had gotten a text from Osamu asking to pick them up to go to Headquarters. He thought about his interaction with the girl the whole way there.</p><p>He picked the pair up, then Chika, and drove over to Headquarters. Osamu said he would train with Izumi, Chika was doing sniper training with Ema, and Yuma was practicing with Kageura. They all said their goodbyes, leaving Kizaki alone to himself.</p><p>Walking through the front entrance, he felt the air shift around. People were whispering around him, glancing in his direction. He looked over his shoulder and into the eyes of a group of C-ranks. They cowered away from him, but they were clearly talking about him.</p><p>“Do you think the rumors are true?”</p><p>“Did you hear about him?” He picked out a girl’s voice in the crowd of people.</p><p>“Yeah, I heard he…” The voices were meshing together, devolving into an amalgamation of ‘heard’s and ‘rumor’s.</p><p>He saw in the corner of his eye Murakami and Arafune, B-rank agents. They smiled and beckoned him over to where they were.</p><p>“We’ve heard a rumor going around you and Kazama are a couple. Is that true?” Murakami asked. A vein popped in his head, and he clenched his fist.</p><p>“I’m not sure, but we went on a date the other night.” Murakami smiled at Arafune and he handed Murakami a twenty-dollar bill. Kizaki studied both of them. Arafune spoke up seeing his confusion.</p><p>“I bet that you weren’t going on a date while he did.” Murakami nodded.</p><p>“I kind of had a feeling but just to let you know if you ever want to talk about anything, we are here for you.” Kizaki raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Am I in the ‘club’ now? Is that what you are saying?” They both smiled at him.</p><p>“I’m guessing Kazama told you about it?” Kizaki nodded, Arafune tipped his hat down, “Yeah, you are. We just try to support each other, so if you need anything, we are here for you.” He smiled, and a question popped into his head.</p><p>“So, are you two a couple?” They both lit up. Arafune hid under his hat, and Murakami sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. Murakami spoke up this time, but quietly.</p><p>“Yeah, but please don’t say anything. We are waiting for the right moment.” Arafune cleared his throat.</p><p>“The rumor going around about you two is getting out of hand. What a bad coming out story.” He awkwardly laughed and Kizaki had a panicked look on his face.</p><p>“How many people know about this?” The couple glanced at each other.</p><p>“Well, it got into Kako’s hands, so everyone knows by now.” Another vein popped into his face that made his veins look like the Big Dipper. Arafune noticed and snickered to himself. Murakami sighed and tapped him on the side to stop.</p><p>“Do you want to go get a drink?” Murakami asked. Kizaki put a hand up and waved.</p><p>“No, I will find Kako and talk to her.” He walked off with the pair following him, trying to talk him down.</p><p>“Kizaki, wait! She probably didn’t realize how mad you would get. Let’s just talk about this.” He kept stomping his way towards the Kako squad room, the pair hot on his heels. They could notice people around them whispering to themselves, pointing to Kizaki, and glancing at him.</p><p>“Hey, isn’t that Kizaki? I heard some rumors going around about him.”</p><p>“Really? I also heard something from someone else.” The words swirled around in Kizaki’s head. He was getting nervous. He wanted to hide away from the attention.</p><p>“Isn’t he going out with Kazama? I didn’t know he was gay.”</p><p>“Look, Kizaki,” Kizaki turned around to Murakami, “We can help stop this. We can go around and-“</p><p>“-and Kako will again spread some other rumor. I’m talking to her, don’t get in my way.” Shivers went down Arafune’s and Murakami’s spines. Glares pierced the pair from Kizaki’s eyes, and he walked down the hallway. They took the hint and backed off. The vibrations from his feet slamming against the floors sent people nearly to their knees.  </p><p>Kizaki stopped in front of the Kako squad door, the steam on his face settling onto his shoulders.</p><p>With a cleared throat, he gave a firm knock on Kako’s door to see Kuroe, the squad’s attacker, open the door. He leaned down to her level and gave a half-assed smile.</p><p>“Hey Kuroe, do you know where Kako is?” She nodded, unfazed by the steam leaking off of Kizaki’s head.</p><p>“She’s inside at the operator’s table.” He thanked her and walked over as calmly as he could. He saw Kako sitting at the operator’s table looking bored surfing through recordings. She felt Kizaki’s aura before him and stood up straight.</p><p>“Hello, Kako.” If Kuroe wasn’t standing in the other room, he would’ve had a stronger entrance. She shot up out of the chair to greet him.</p><p>“Kizaki! How are you doing today?” She fiddled with a pencil in her hands and smiled to mask the fear in her eyes.</p><p>“How do you think I’m doing? I don’t appreciate rumors going around about Kazama and I.”</p><p>“Well, technically they aren’t rumors because they are true.” Kako retorted.</p><p>“Well, I don’t appreciate everyone knowing about our personal life. Why would you spread something like that? You don’t have the right to do that!” Raising his voice, he saw Kako flinch. He heard the door close behind him as Kuroe walked out.</p><p>“Everyone was going to know anyway I don’t see the problem.” She crossed her arms.</p><p>“You don’t you think airing our laundry in front of everyone is problematic?” She shook her head. Kizaki was getting more furious as they kept talking. He kept thinking back on Kazama and his conversation the night he asked him out. He talked about not fitting in, about feeling ostracized.</p><p>“Look, I don’t care what they say about me but Kazama doesn’t deserve the shit you put him through.” She put a hand to her chest.</p><p>“I put him through shit? What about you? You think his whole personal life turning upside down is my fault? I just gave him a push. He would be set free, eventually.”</p><p>“So, you just gave him a push? Is that what this whole stunt is?” She nodded, and Kizaki shook his head. He walked around the table trying to rationalize her decisions. He shook his head even harder.</p><p>“It’s not your right to do that! You and Jin can never leave shit alone. We don’t need these kinds of rumors going around! Our lives are already chaotic enough.” It was the first time in their conversation Kako wavered. She saw the distraught in Kizaki’s eyes, his slight shaking.</p><p>“Did Kazama tell you something?” He shook his head not wanting to tell her the specifics but knowing it was important.</p><p>“He’s just had to deal with some stuff, and this situation is just making everything worse. “ Her lips drew into a frown and she chewed on the end of the pencil. Rhythmically, her shoe tapped against the floor.</p><p>“Fine, I’ll stop. I’ll try to spread something else in its place.”</p><p>“One last thing, why did you spread a rumor like that in the first place?” She scowled.</p><p>“I wanted to get you back for ditching us at the bar a week ago.” He rolled his eyes and put his head in his hands. Kako smirked and chuckled to herself. Kizaki chuckled as well from the sheer stupidity of the situation.</p><p>“That’s so extreme.” Kako nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m seeing that now.” They laughed, and Kizaki excused himself. He saw Kuroe sitting on a bench nearby and smiled at her. She nodded at him and walked inside.</p><p>Traveling through headquarters he heard people mutter about him, but after the talk with Kako he felt better knowing it would go away, eventually. He made his way over to the [solo battle booths]. Countless C-rank agents were scattered around in pods, similarly B-rank agents had broken off into their different cliques. He saw Murakami and Arafune talking with Yuma and Kageura. Worried, Murakami shot Kizaki a questioning look. Kizaki smiled back, and Murakami’s face loosened in relief. It was like Kizaki telepathically told him it would be okay.</p><p>Few exciting matched were happening, and unfortunately Kizaki had an hour to burn before he would go back to Tamakoma with the kids. He sat on a nearby chair and fiddled with his phone. He felt bored and didn’t know what do until two A-rank agents came over to talk to him.</p><p>“Hey, Kikuchihara stop-“</p><p>“I’m not going to- Hey! Kizaki!” He looked up to see Kikuchihara standing over him, a scowl on his face. Utagawa was standing behind him, looking afraid of what he would say next.</p><p>“Are you going out with the captain?” Kizaki stuttered, he had heard Kikuchihara was blunt but saying it with so much force made it seem like he already knew what the answer was. Kizaki looked around. No one was paying attention to them, but he didn’t enjoy having these conversations in the open.</p><p>“We went on one date.” He mumbled under his breath. Kikuchihara didn’t move his face much, but Kizaki could tell he was furious. Utagawa was trying to tell his squad mate to back off, but his voice trailed off when Kikuchihara crossed his arms.</p><p>“Well, let me tell you something.” He got down to Kizaki’s level and grabbed the arm of the chair. Even though he was small compared to Kizaki, he looked intimidating in this moment.</p><p>“You don’t deserve him.” Woah. That was harsh.</p><p>“He is a fantastic person, and if you hurt him, I will hurt you.” His monotone voice made the statement even more threatening. Even Utagawa behind him flinched a bit.</p><p>“I don’t care that you’re stronger than me, I will break you. Have a marvelous day.” He walked off and Utagawa mouthed a ‘sorry’ before he walked off with Kikuchihara. Kizaki closed his eyes and shook his head. The kid is 16 years old, and he acts all high and mighty. Kizaki understood that they were squad mates, but were they close enough to threaten him if he hurt Kazama?</p><p>He massaged his temples; he noticed he had been getting a lot of headaches recently. There were always people flocking around him and it was getting old fast. The amount of social interaction was tiring. He felt like an old man. Getting out of Headquarters and going home was what he wanted to do, but he had to wait for the kids to finish with their training. It almost seemed like divine intervention when from all three saying they were ready to go home. He checked behind his shoulder to see if they were standing right behind him, watching what he was dealing with.</p><p>When he met up with the kids, they looked more tired than usual. They dragged their feet and Chika stared at the floor the whole time.</p><p>“What’s wrong with everyone? You all seem unusually tired.” Their mouths turned into frowns. He could see the sweat on Osamu’s forehead, the downward gaze from Chika, and Yuma was a bit too quiet for his liking.</p><p>“We keep hearing rumors going around about you.” Chika whispered, Kizaki barely catching what she said as they walked outside. The cold hit them and Kizaki winced.</p><p>“Yeah, we were worried about you so we left early.” Yuma put up his typical duck face, and Osamu nodded. Kizaki felt guilty. He had shortened their training by getting himself involved with stupid drama. It seemed like the gossip had spread like wildfire, but he hoped people hadn’t gone up them to probe them for answers.</p><p>They got into the car, and Kizaki sighed. All three of them gazed at him, noticing how stressed he looked.</p><p>“I’m sorry kids, I’ll help train with you when we go back home.” They shook their heads. Osamu pushed up his glasses and spoke up.</p><p>“No, that’s all right, Reiji. We had many people talking to us. I can’t imagine how many people were talking about you.” Kizaki hated having them worry about him. He knew they already had a three-course meal worth of issues they had to deal with. He took a deep breath.</p><p>“All right, but I’m going to make you a magnificent meal to say sorry.”</p><p>“This wasn’t your fault. It’ll probably fade away in the next couple of days, don’t worry too much.” He let his body drive home while his mind wandered. He wondered how Kazama felt about the rumors going around. He knew Kazama knew about the rumors because he goes to Headquarters almost every day. They rolled up to a red light, and he glanced at his phone. No messages. Kizaki sighed and spent the rest of the drive in silence.</p><p>When they got to Tamakoma, Kizaki started making dinner while the kids gathered around Usami’s operating table. They were looking at repeats of other B-rank matches and trying to analyze their strategies. Kizaki set the table for them and treated them to curry. They thanked him and dug in. They looked happier than they had been at Headquarters, and Kizaki joined them after a while.</p><p>Nothing eventful happened the rest of the night until his phone chirped at him deep into the night. It was from Kazama.</p><p>&gt;Hey, did you hear the rumors going around at base today?</p><p>Kizaki had a feeling he was going to talk to Kazama again. It was easy for him to notice the stares from people. He could imagine how annoyed Kazama would be.</p><p>&gt;Yeah, it was hard not to notice them.</p><p>&gt;Really, even Mikami was talking about it on defense duty today. Those kids eat rumors for breakfast, I swear.</p><p>He smiled at his phone and chuckled a bit.</p><p>&gt;Haha, yeah. Even the Tamakoma-2 kids mentioned it.</p><p>&gt;I hear you talked to Kako about it. She’s too powerful with rumors.</p><p>&gt;Yeah, she might have a Side Effect for all we know. What are you doing right now?</p><p>He heard the front door open and Yuri walked through. She glanced at him and rushed towards her room. They still had some awkwardness between each other and everyone in Tamakoma was noticing the unique aura between them. It seemed like a 180-degree shift had happened. Instead of Kizaki fawning over Yuri, the opposite was happening now.</p><p>&gt;I’m getting ready for bed. Today was more relaxing than it had been recently.</p><p>It seems like they had the reverse experience today. He was glad Kazama had a good day; he was always looking stressed and never got enough sleep.</p><p>&gt;That’s good, then I’ll let you go to sleep. Have a good night.</p><p>&gt;You too sleep well.</p><p>Kizaki was feeling drowsy himself. He was alone in the livingroom, the only lights on were the kitchen light and the light in Rindou’s room. He turned off the kitchen light and shed his clothes. Jumping onto the bed, he sunk into it, groaning as the bed shaped around his body. Outside, the wind whipped against his window and cooled his room. He closed his eyes and hoped the rest of his week wasn’t so stressful. He had enough to think about with Kazama; he didn’t want anyone bothering them.</p><p>His muscles went limp and his eyes stopped shifting. He focused on the repetitive wind outside, and it was getting harder to think. The last thought he had before going to sleep was, ‘Kazama, when are we going out again?’.  </p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Kazama IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>More than a week had passed since Kazama and Kizaki’s date and Kazama, every single day since, could not get him out of his head. He thought when the date was finished his crush stop pestering him. He thought ignorantly.</p>
<p>Stopping by the grocery store, it was filled to the brim with people and he was now stalking down the isles trying to find cans of coffee. As he walked random images of Kizaki would pop up if he let his mind wander too far. They would even manifest onto the items he saw. His face instead of the mascots on various cereal boxes, his voice playing through the intercom, even other people’s faces sometimes morphed into Kizaki. He would have to do a double take.</p>
<p>His mind was constantly trying to force feed him the idea that Kizaki = good. It was getting overwhelming how much he saw him because every time he saw or thought about him his body burst. Before he was used to the occasional heartache, but nowadays it was constant, even when he’s preoccupied with something else. Before the jolts of electricity were just sparks, now it is lighting that courses through him. He feels like he can conquer the world, but simultaneously feels he would fall to his knees for a butterfly.</p>
<p>It was also affecting his grocery habits. Whenever Kazama saw a new brand or product that looked interesting his brain connected it to him somehow. It was like he had a little Kizaki on his shoulder telling him what he was doing wrong. ‘You shouldn’t be buying junk food’, ‘you shouldn’t buy coffee you will get addicted’, and Kazama’s favorite: ‘you should eat healthier food so you won’t stay petite’. Kazama knew his mind was trying to Kizaki as much as it could, but that one made his blood boil.</p>
<p>He always tried to suppress those mundane thoughts because the more he thought, the more it affected his body. For example, one day when he was relaxing at his apartment, he let his mind wander too far. He thought about Kizaki, his smile, his biceps, his chest, then his lips. He felt a wave of static follow the heartache dropping to his stomach. Rushing to the bathroom, his dinner had cascaded out of him and into the sink. With a couple more coughs he went to sleep early. It was on those days he wondered why he ever thought confessing to Kizaki was a good idea.</p>
<p>He had finished his shopping and to satisfy the Kizaki on his shoulder and he went to the farmer's market next door to pick up from fresh fruits and vegetables. It was in the evening so few stalls were open, but the selection was still baffling. Earlier in the week Kazama asked Kizaki what to buy, who then gave Kazama an essay-length text message on what vegetables to get. To give credit where credit is due, he made it easy to digest for someone who knew little about cooking. Grabbing a wide selection of foods, he started his walk home, the sun directly above his head.</p>
<p>He almost hoped to see Kizaki running down the sidewalk like he had seen last week; he wanted to make an excuse to invite him to his apartment. He didn’t see the bigger man but passed by a public park with a bridge passing through the center. Noting the beautiful sight, he walked the rest of the way home in contempt. He made it home and put his food up in the fridge; it was rare to see it full but it a welcome sight. Until he needed to go on defense duty in the evening, he had the entire day to himself. He threw on a tank top and sprawled himself onto the couch.</p>
<p>After five minutes of browsing on his phone, it was getting boring. It seemed like nothing was happening in the world. After the Aftokrator invasion, Border was chugging along steadily, and few additional threats were around the corner. One interesting thing was the new Tamakoma-2 squad making their way up in the ranks on their first season at Border. They had good mentors, Kizaki being one of them. His throat closed, and he felt shivers go down his spine. Why did everything he thinks about circle back to him?</p>
<p>It didn’t help that apparently everyone at Border knew about their situation too. He had multiple people walk up to him everyday asking about him and Kizaki. At first it was just rumors and vague gestures towards his direction, then it morphed and branched in different directions. Some theorized that the rumors weren’t true and was a distraction for something else, some thought they knew based on the limited interactions they may have seen, and some theorized they had already been in a relationship and had already gotten married. Kazama didn’t really understand that last one.</p>
<p>But the biggest thing he hated was all the attention he was attracting</p>
<p>Tachikawa had sat down with him at the height of the rumors and grilled him out in the open. He put his elbows on the table, flattened his hands, and placed them around a foot across from each other.</p>
<p>“So, how big was it?” He raised his eyebrows. It was a serious question.</p>
<p>“How big was what?” Kazama asked, his eyes studying Tachikawa. He knew what he was talking about but wanted Tachikawa to choose his words carefully.</p>
<p>“His dick. Is it like this big?” He scooted his hands closer. He had no sense of shame. “Or was it this big?” His hands jumped together a couple more inches. Kazama pinched the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p>“We didn’t have sex, Tachikawa. Why are you so obsessed with us two? Don’t you have Jin’s dick to worry about?”</p>
<p>“No, we haven’t gotten to that point yet. But I’m just wondering because you two are the only interesting thing happening around here.” Kazama sighed.</p>
<p>“Look I don’t like people watching my personal life like I’m in a reality show.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, I’m going to anyway. And everyone else is too.” He squinted his eyes and Tachikawa leaned back in his chair.</p>
<p>“Who do you mean by everyone?”</p>
<p> “Us.” Kazama turned around in his chair to see Izumi, Yoneya, and Midorikawa they all had the same smirk on their faces. Kazama just glowered at them.</p>
<p>“So, you three were listening in our conversation?” They nodded simultaneously. “And can I ask why?”</p>
<p>“We’re curious about this. You’ve never been involved in any drama.” Yoneya said, the other two nodding along. All three of them bounced like a unit, their heads bobbing at the same time. Kazama turned towards Tachikawa.</p>
<p>“Did you set this up?” Tachikawa just smiled. Midorikawa perked up behind him.</p>
<p>“Mr. Kazama, you don’t seem like the dating type, and your secretive. It’s like watching a panther in the wild.” A lightbulb went off in Izumi’s head, and he snapped his fingers.</p>
<p>“If Kazama is a panther, what animal is Kizaki?” The three of them thought for a second. They</p>
<p>“Probably a bear. A grizzly bear, not a black bear.” Yoneya from the other side shifted towards the other two.</p>
<p>“Then who would win in a fight?” They all thought until Tachikawa leaned across the table.</p>
<p>“The bear definitely, a panther can’t take a grizzly bear.” Kazama kicked Tachikawa in the shin.</p>
<p>“Ow! I’m right, you know!” Kazama stood up. He was clenching his teeth so hard he felt an ache pierce through his jaw.</p>
<p>“I’m just going to leave now before this gets too personal, and you three,” he pointed to the idiot trio, “don’t end up like this idiot here. Don’t get involved in my business.” They frowned. He snapped back to reality when he got a text on his phone. He didn’t realize he had dozed off on the couch. The sun had gone down in the sky slightly. His face had squished into the couch, and drool stuck to the cushion. He rubbed his eyes and unlocked his phone. Wincing at the bright screen, he saw Suwa had messaged him.</p>
<p>&gt;Yo! What’s up man would you want to chill sometime?</p>
<p>Kazama smiled and flipped on his back. He held his phone up above him.</p>
<p>&gt;Sure, I’m good tomorrow if you want to hang out at my place. Bring beer, I know how much you hate wine.</p>
<p>&gt;Awesome! Let’s get fucked up!</p>
<p>For a lightweight, Suwa drank a lot. It was involved every time the pair hung out. Thinking back, he probably has a problem. Fortunately, Suwa had excellent taste, and he splurged on imported beers. He had already gone through his college phase in terms of beer, and he grew out of the watered-down broke college kid beers. When he, Suwa, Kizaki, and Terashima would go out, they all had their specialty drinks they would get when they had the money to spend. Terashima had a soft spot for rum, Suwa had beer, Kizaki would sip on vodka, and wine for himself. Suwa always picked on him for liking a ‘feminine’ drink, but he didn’t mind. Just to spite him, he sometimes ordered a margarita and gave Suwa a smug smile when he asked for a sip.         </p>
<p>That was before Tachikawa and Kako joined them. Nowadays it was livelier when they went out, but it wasn’t as tightknit as it used to be. With Tsutsumi joining them it was a nice addition but only made a stronger divide within them.</p>
<p>He surfed on his phone for a bit, before getting ready to head off to Headquarters. Luckily for Kazama, the rumors from last week had died down, and no one had talked to him about it in a while. Kako also helped by spreading a rumor about Tachikawa and Jin to counter the one about him and Kizaki. She annoyed him by spreading the rumor in the first place but was more annoyed at her outing Kizaki to everyone. He had approached her in her squad room earlier that week.</p>
<p>Just walking through the hallways that day, all eyes were on him. It was unnerving hearing everyone around him. Nervousness set into him, and he messed with his fingernails. He wasn’t used to having all this attention; it was tiring.</p>
<p>He knocked on her door, and when he entered Kako was already striding towards him. Before he even said anything Kako beat him to the punch.</p>
<p>“Kizaki already talked to me. I’m sorry, it was wrong of me to spread rumors about you too.” It was surprising hearing her lead with an apology. She was usually stubborn and hated being told she was wrong. Something seemed off. He gawked dramatically.</p>
<p>“Who are you and what have you done with Kako?” She crossed her arms and looked to away from Kazama.</p>
<p>“Don’t make me say it again. I realize I’ve been a bit of a bitch lately.” He leaned against the doorframe and narrowed his eyes.</p>
<p>“A bit but, why? Everything was okay a couple weeks ago.” She stepped back and lead Kazama to their sofa. They sat down and Kako fiddled with her thumbs.</p>
<p>“I guess I’m jealous of you.” Kazama studied Kako’s face. “I’m jealous of you and Kizaki.”</p>
<p>“Why? Aren’t you and Tsutsumi in a relationship?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we are but I miss hanging out with you.” She focused on her shoes, Kazama couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “Our entire group is changing. I don’t want to be left behind.”</p>
<p>“Well, would you want to hang out later?” Kazama asked. Kako looked up with a smile.</p>
<p>“I would like that.”</p>
<p> “But on one condition, we don’t talk about Kizaki.” He stuck his hand out of Kako to shake it. She giggled, and her warm hand enveloped Kazama’s.</p>
<p>“Agreed, and we also don’t talk about Tsutsumi.”</p>
<p>When Kazama got to Headquarters, it just so happened that Kako was passing by. She smiled and pointed to a folder in her arms. She was busy, so he continued towards his squad’s room. He passed by the rank battle room and through the same color hallways, seeing various agents glance at him as he walked by.</p>
<p>When he got to his room, Utagawa and Mikami greeted him, and Kikuchihara just glanced at him. He was yet another person who was acting differently these last few weeks. Kazama had tried to talk to him a day ago, but he shooed him away.</p>
<p>“Ready for defense duty?” He asked Kikuchihara. The boy shrugged and kept his eyes focused on his phone. Mikami was at her computer relaxing, and Utagawa was working on schoolwork at the sofa. Kazama sat himself across from Utagawa, who smiled at him. Kikuchihara from across the room put in his earbuds and turned away from the pair dramatically. They both sighed and Kazama leaned into Utagawa.</p>
<p>“Do you know what’s going on with Kikuchihara?” He shook his head and closed his book.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure he’s been ignoring me in class.” Kazama sighed and sunk into the sofa. “He’s been kind of distant recently. I don’t really know what’s wrong.”</p>
<p>They both stared at him and Mikami said they had to get to their defense duty shift. Utagawa gathered his schoolwork into his backpack and Kikuchihara slugged himself out of the chair. He still kept his ear buds in, but he turned down the music to hear everyone.</p>
<p>“Let’s get this over with.” He said and walked out of their room. Kazama sighed, and Utagawa followed. When they got outside, they activated their triggers and went bounding across rooftops. The sun was barely peeking across the horizon, and ten minutes later it had fully set. A brilliant crescent moon replaced it, stars dotting the sky. Kazama, Utagawa, and Mikami were making small-talk while Kikuchihara stayed ahead of them in his own world. Kazama told Mikami to link him with Kikuchihara’s ears. He nodded for Utagawa to stay a little ways away.</p>
<p>Kazama cleared his throat and Kikuchihara flinched at the noise. He took his earbuds out of his ears even though it wouldn’t make a difference. The wind howled around them.</p>
<p>“Kikuchihara, I want to talk to you.” Kazama sat down on the rooftop and pat the space next to him. Kikuchihara sat next to him and fidgeted with his hands, he was uncomfortable with this.</p>
<p>“I’ve notice you’ve been quieter recently. Is something bothering you?” He sat in silence and shook his head. He didn’t make eye contact with Kazama.</p>
<p>“I think you’re lying.” Kikuchihara nodded.</p>
<p>“Of course I’m lying.” He didn’t stop messing with his hands.</p>
<p>“You know you can tell me right? I won’t shame you, or make fun of you.” He knew despite Kikuchihara’s brick exterior he was still a kid in his heart. He was always anxious and downgraded his own accomplishments, like he did with others. It made him unapproachable to some, but Kazama knew he just needed a push. Kikuchihara took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t say something to you already.” Kazama face contorted in confusion.</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“Kizaki, your boyfriend.” He emphasized ‘boyfriend’, with a slight hiss.</p>
<p>“What would he tell me?” Kazama asked.</p>
<p>“I kinda… told him off the other day.” Kazama smirked, and Kikuchihara nudged him in the side.</p>
<p>“Hey! You said you wouldn’t make fun of me jerk!”</p>
<p>“I’m not, it’s just hard to imagine that happening.” Kikuchihara crossed his arms and pouted.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you should’ve seen him, I told him you were better than him, and he looked completely dumbfounded,”</p>
<p>“Is that what you told Kizaki? I’m better than him?” He nodded confidently.</p>
<p>“Hell yeah I did!” Kazama chuckled.</p>
<p>“Why would you tell him that?” Kikuchihara’s face stayed emotionless, but his eyes gave it away. For a split second, an unexpected pain washed over his face, and the tone made a 180. He reset his face but his lips stayed thinned.</p>
<p>“I just don’t really want you to get hurt.” He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. “You have… helped me a lot and I don’t want to see you in pain.”  They looked each other in the eyes.</p>
<p>“Well if I ever break up with Kizaki I’ll have you right next to me.” He leaned back and rubbed the back of his neck.</p>
<p>“Ugh, how do you say stuff like that without getting embarrassed?” Kazama chuckled and stood up again. He held a hand towards Kikuchihara to take.</p>
<p>“It comes with age. C’mon, we only have one hour left.” He smirked and took Kazama’s hand. The three of them continued to stalk the areas around the forbidden zone, slashing up any neighbors that crossed through the gates. It wasn’t until the dead of night when their shift finished. Kikuchihara still felt more reserved than his usual self, but their talk seemed to have helped him open up again. He gathered his stuff at Headquarters and said bye to the kids.</p>
<p>Walking back home, he breathed in the fresh air around him. The wind had calmed, but the chilling air still stuck to his body. He had forgotten his scarf at home and he unsuccessfully tried to hide in his jacket. Getting inside his apartment wasn’t any better; it was freezing there as well. He threw on a sweatshirt as fast as he could and flopped onto his bed.</p>
<p>He curled into his blankets and suddenly all the tiredness collected throughout the day crashed down onto him. Immediately after feeling the weight against his body he drifted off to sleep, hoping for a peaceful night.    </p>
<p>Dreams had been haunting his sleep the last few weeks and tonight was no different. Well, it was a little different. It wasn’t a nightmare in the traditional sense; it was more like emotional torture. He and Kizaki were sitting next to each other on his couch, watching an unrecognizable mesh on the tv. Kizaki leaned over and put his hand around Kazama’s waist. Kizaki nuzzled Kazama’s neck and put his other hand on Kazama’s thigh. He traced his nose along Kazama’s jawline and ended when their eyes met. Kizaki’s pupils were huge, and their nose touched. Pushing Kazama, his back hit the cushions of the couch. Cupping his face, Kizaki leaned towards Kazama’s ear.</p>
<p>“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.” When Kizaki moved his hand up on Kazama’s thigh his heart was beating out of his chest. He felt a familiar sinking feeling and his eyes flung open. He rushed to the bathroom and coughed into the toilet. The coughing squished his stomach and his dinner flooded into the bowl. His entire body was shaking, and he could barely stand.</p>
<p>He flushed the toilet, feeling himself calm down. Sloshing water in his mouth, he tried to get the tangy taste out of his mouth. He spit into the sink and looked up to see his pale face stare back at him.</p>
<p>Why? Why was he having such a powerful reaction towards Kizaki? Before this whole situation happened his feelings towards Kizaki were never this strong. The sickness he had felt before was a heartache, not something similar to the flu. He hadn’t noticed since he was throwing up, but he had a boner in his sweatpants. He put his head in his hands; what the fuck was his body trying to tell him? He was throwing up but also felt aroused. What luck he had.</p>
<p>He just waited it out until the morning, it was only a couple hours until his 8 am class. He wandered into the kitchen and cursed himself for not buying any more sugary foods. He nursed on fruits, trying to get his stomach full again. The fruits hit the bottom of his stomach with a thud. Churning in response, his stomach felt ready to spit out everything again. He grabbed a blanket and nestled into the living room; the sun hadn’t filtered through the blinds yet.</p>
<p>Even with his blanket wrapped around him, he felt even colder than he did last night. With his stomach on the edge of sickness, the chilly atmosphere soothed him. A deep breath flooded his chest, and his stomach felt slightly better. Other than controlling his breathing, the only thing he did for half an hour was stare at the ceiling. Nothing on his mind.</p>
<p>He blinked a few times and woke up hearing cars pass by outside. He tried to sit up, but his body was a rock. Closing his eyes, he debated going to his class or not. Skipping school hadn’t been something he had done since high school. Even then it was because he felt sick, like he felt right now. His stomach gurgled at the thought. He still hadn’t decided, but deep down he knew he wasn’t going.</p>
<p>There was a soothing chime from his phone that rang through his room. His body instinctively grabbed it. It was just his alarm ringing, signaling he had an hour before his class would start. He turned off his alarm, and he settled back into his blanket. How long had it been since he woke up? He could say the same with the world outside. He heard birds, his loud neighbors, cars racing outside; it was yet another day he felt one step behind everyone.</p>
<p>          He checked his phone again; around 10 minutes had passed. He really didn’t want to go outside today. He moved himself into the shower, tripping over himself in the process. His body had a thin layer of sweat along it and his pale reflection greeted him in the mirror. He set the water valve to nearly the hottest setting and let the water wash over him. As the water dripped down him, he swayed with his eyes closed. Propping him self up with his hand, he felt his knees weaken. He cleaned up himself and stepped out of the shower.</p>
<p>Throwing on a fresh pair of clothes, he wobbled into the living room again. The light illuminated the floor, and he laid down, catching all the warmth he could. It was too late for him to go to class and now he felt like sleeping even more than before. But sleeping all day wasn’t ideal. He got up from the floor and grabbed his backpack. He didn’t know where he would go, but he needed to keep his mind occupied. Remembered the cold from the night before, he grabbed a scarf and a beanie to protect himself.</p>
<p>Air whipped his face as he walked along the sidewalk. He instinctively walked towards his school but it would look suspicious if he was at campus and didn’t go to class. Kazama remembered the park he saw yesterday and walked through it instead. The park had very few people walking through, most dressed in workout clothes, or couples curled up on benches together. Dogs loitered around with their owners, and Kazama found a tree to lean against.</p>
<p>The tree did its best to cover him from the wind and Kazama hid his nose in his scarf. His body was surprisingly warm, the outside was definitely colder than inside his apartment, but the air felt different. It was constantly changing, morphing, whereas his apartment had the same current. Despite that, something was missing that Kazama couldn’t place.</p>
<p>It wasn’t his clothes, it wasn’t the atmosphere; it was… He glanced around at the couples in the park. They showed their laughs on their faces and they sent shivers through Kazama. That’s what was missing, another person. He pulled out his phone and pulled up Kizaki’s number. It had been a couple days since they texted. He was just going to send him a message, but his throat closed like he was talking to him.</p>
<p>&gt;Would you want to meet up today?</p>
<p>He hit send with his fingers trembling, hopefully from the cold. A few minutes later he saw Kizaki’s message pop up.</p>
<p>&gt;Sure, where and when?</p>
<p>He took a deep breath and prepared for rejection. He knew Kizaki was at school, most likely in class, and he wasn’t the type to skip.</p>
<p>&gt;Right now. You know that park by my place? Go there.</p>
<p>His thumb hovered over the send button. His hands shook even more violently than before. He eyed the profile picture he had given Kizaki. It was a picture of him and Kizaki at the bar one night. Oh, how naïve he was back then. Tapping on his phone, he put a heart by Kizaki’s profile; his face heated in embarrassment.</p>
<p>He covered his eyes with one hand and hit send with the other. He felt a buzz and peeked between his fingers.</p>
<p>&gt;Sure. I’ll be there in ten.</p>
<p>Holy shit, he agreed. Kazama felt a smile growing under his scarf. The warmth he was missing flooded through his chest. He sunk into the ground. The heat that flowed through him protected him against the wind, and he closed his eyes. The wind howled perfectly against his ears. It was the perfect atmosphere he needed to fall asleep. He didn’t want to sleep, but with the minimal sleep he got his body was calling the shots. Every time he would close his eyes, he attempted to shake himself awake. His body finally felt its weight, and he fell asleep after a few minutes of fighting. It felt like his mind was asleep, but his body braced against the cold. He felt a weight against him, and he instinctively leaned into it.</p>
<p>“Now I know why you weren’t in class.” He heard a low voice whisper next to him. Kazama’s eyes flew open, and he saw Kizaki next to him. His cheek had a red flush to it, spreading up to his ears. His eyes darted at everything but Kazama. He noticed Kizaki’s hand rubbing against his knee, occasionally squeezing. It was only a brief touch, but electricity flowed through Kazama. Kizaki noticed Kazama’s eyes move and leaned towards Kazama.</p>
<p>“Are you all right? You were sleeping when I got here.” His hand climbed slightly on Kazama’s thigh. His breath hitched, and Kizaki retracted his hand. He was feeling his stomach twist, and he tried his hardest to calmly let out a response.</p>
<p>“I’m fine, just tired.” Kizaki didn’t look convinced at all. He wrapped his arm around Kazama’s shoulder and pulled him closer. Kazama flinched under the weight and glanced around to see if anyone was near them. He felt on edge, afraid almost.</p>
<p>“If you want to sleep longer, I don’t mind.” Kazama shook his head. He wanted to enjoy this moment with him. He messed with his fingernails seeing other people walk by the two. They sat there longer, watching couples one by one leave. Kazama, slowly feeling more comfortable by the lack of people, rested his head on Kizaki’s shoulder, feeling the heat radiating off of him. Occasionally, he would sit upright if people walked too close to them. Steam rose off Kizaki every time he put his head back on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“You just wanted me here to hang out?” Kizaki whispered after a while of silence, a slight hesitation lingering in his voice.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Kazama. “Do you have anything you need to do?” He shook his head and squeezed Kazama’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“No, I have the day off. And it’s a nice day outside, I like it.” That was proven to be a lie when he started shivering. It seemed like Kazama was taking more heat than he was giving.</p>
<p>"I took your advice with the groceries.” Kizaki perked up and his eyes widened slightly.</p>
<p>“Really? What did you get?” Kazama pulled his phone out and the list of groceries Kizaki had sent him. He could feel Kizaki bouncing like a schoolboy next to him. He pointed out a few vegetables and other items from the list.</p>
<p>“I couldn’t find these at the grocery store near my place. The farmer’s market had all the vegetables except these.” He glanced at Kizaki, who was scanning his screen. Kizaki was subconsciously nodding his head and as his eyes moved towards the top of the screen he smiled.</p>
<p>“That’s awesome, you’ll have to make me something sometime.” Kizaki’s eyes were drawn to the top of the screen every so often, and Kazama followed his gaze. He died inside, seeing the heart next to Kizaki’s contact.</p>
<p>“I would but I don’t even know what to make. You didn’t send me any recipes.” He tried to divert Kizaki’s attention away, and it worked when he pulled up a website on his phone. It was a blog by a Japanese housewife who formatted her blog into levels of recipes. Kizaki gave Kazama his phone to scroll through her home screen. She had a picture of her next two famous cooks, countless trophies, and her two kids.</p>
<p>Kizaki leaned over to look at the phone with him. Warm breath seeped down Kazama’s neck, causing goosebumps to ripple down his body. The subtle smell of Kizaki’s cologne filling his nose. Kazama eyed the ‘novice’ and ‘beginner’ tab, trying to keep his breathing under control. Kizaki clicked on the novice tab and ushered Kazama to look through the recipes.</p>
<p>“You’ll probably need to go under this one, I know you're better than the beginner recipes. But, if you want some help, I can always come over sometime.” Kazama lightly smiled.</p>
<p>“Yeah, maybe,” Kazama gulped and cleared his throat. “Maybe that can be our next date.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kizaki’s mouth slowly curve up. He pulled Kazama closer to him and put his mouth next to his ear.</p>
<p>“Then I guess it is.” Electricity coursed through Kazama’s veins. The tips of his fingers suddenly felt hyper-aware to the cold as the rest of his body heated.</p>
<p>“So when do you want to come over?” Thinking, Kizaki clicked his tongue a few times.</p>
<p>“I am not sure, I’ll have to check.” They both nodded, and Kazama got up, feeling a burst of energy. Kizaki took his arm off. It felt a lot colder without it around him.</p>
<p>“Well, I need to go head over to Suwa’s soon.” Kizaki threw his backpack over his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Really? Should I be jealous?” Kazama scoffed.</p>
<p>“Not in a million years.” They both chuckled to themselves. Kazama adjusted his scarf and beanie, Kizaki doing the same. They smiled at each other one more time before Kazama opened his mouth.</p>
<p>“Well, have a nice day Kizaki.” He turned around and started to walk away when he felt Kizaki’s hand in his own.</p>
<p>“Wait,” He turned to see Kizaki’s face red like a strawberry. He was staring into Kazama’s eyes, his lips barely containing the words he was about to spit out. The cogs in his head were turning as he stuttered for a few seconds.</p>
<p>“I was- er, I want to say something that I haven’t said yet.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Kazama kept himself from pulling his hand away from Kizaki’s as he watched Kizaki in anticipation.</p>
<p>“I like you, I like you a lot.” His face somehow got redder, and he squeezed Kazama’s hand.</p>
<p>“Didn’t you already say that?” Kazama asked.   </p>
<p>“Technically, but I just wanted to say it while you weren’t feeling like a mess and… vulnerable.” Kazama didn’t show it but he hated Kizaki using that word to describe anything about him. Also, before his nap he was feeling like a mess, but Kizaki didn’t know so that doesn’t count. Kazama took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“All right, well, I’m glad we cleared that up. It would have been bad if you had been going along with it until now because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” Kizaki nodded in response.</p>
<p>“Well, now that that’s out of the way, I can do something I’ve been wanting to do for a couple weeks now.” Kazama looked at him, puzzled. Kizaki had mustered up all his courage and seemed like he was trying to bring himself one more adrenaline burst. He quickly closed the gap between them, and framed Kazama’s face with his hands. Their noses were touching, and Kazama studied Kizaki’s eyes.</p>
<p>His pupils had dilated, his eyelashes were short, and the skin on his nose didn’t have a hint of scarring to them. This close Kazama saw the perfection on his face, but he would never be prepared for what happened next.</p>
<p>Kizaki’s eyes closed, and he leaned in to plant his lips against Kazama’s. He instantly melted against Kizaki and softly reached up to grab Kizaki around the neck. It was like all the heat in Kizaki flowed into him through his lips. His stomach was doing backflips, and he closed his throat, feeling his stomach acid trying to lurch out of him. The amount of electricity he felt could have lit up street lamps for miles.</p>
<p>It was cliché to say he felt fireworks go off, but the moment their lips met he was almost hurt by how much dopamine exploded through his body. He never wanted this to end; it felt too good for him to let go. It lasted what seemed like an eternity when Kizaki pulled away. He rubbed his finger over lips.</p>
<p>“Sorry, if that was sudden.” Kazama took a step backward to stop himself from falling over. He felt woozy, like he was drunk on something. Shaking his head, he tried to think of anything to say, but his tongue had a mind of its own and didn’t get a word out. He just smiled after he calmed down a bit.</p>
<p>“It’s fine, I just… I’ve been waiting a while for that.” Leaves rustling fully snapped him back to reality, and he remembered where they were. He glanced around him, looking for people that might have been by them.</p>
<p>“No one was around, I looked.” Kizaki said, reassuring him no one saw their embrace. Kazama sighed, and his legs wobbled. The back of his throat hurt from the acid that had hit against it. He needed to brush his teeth, now.</p>
<p>“Wow, I don’t think I would ever be ready for that.” Kizaki wrapped his own scarf tighter on himself in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“You make it sound like I did something perverted to you.” Kazama looked up at him and Kizaki turned away in embarrassment. He shook his head, getting the wind in his face.</p>
<p>“All right, well I’ll text you when I find out when we can hang out again.” Kizaki backed up and Kazama smiled as he did the same.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you later, Kazama.”</p>
<p>“You too, Kizaki.” Kazama lept away and bounded towards his house with a new-found power. He had a fresh feeling in himself, he felt like he could do anything. Running down the street, a smile spread on his face. Leaping and bounding was only the beginning of what he could do. He caught stares from people along the sidewalk, but for once, he didn’t care.</p>
<p>He was out of breath when he got home and texted Suwa to pick him up. His body didn’t feel tired, it wanted to keep going. He grabbed his mouthwash and sloshed it around in his mouth. Gripping the side of the counter, he stared at himself. His reflection looked better than that morning, some color had returned to his face. A slight blush spread across his face from the cold outside.</p>
<p>It was early in the afternoon, but after his heart calmed down, he felt like falling asleep. Luckily for him, at that moment an enthusiastic knocking came from his front door.</p>
<p>“Open up! Open up!” Chanted the blonde outside his door. Kazama slowly opened the door and Suwa ran in, two paper bags under his arms. He put them on the kitchen counter and turned to grin at Kazama</p>
<p>“Ready to do some day-drinking?” He pulled a bottle of wine out of one of the bags. “I got you a drink too. I know you only have cheap shit in here.” Kazama smiled and turned around. Suwa threw his eyebrows up when Kazama turned around. He must have been grinning more than he thought he was.</p>
<p>“Something good happen?.” Suwa put the bottle down on the table and grabbed a glass from the cabinet like he had done many times before. He slid the glass and bottle towards Kazama, who popped the cork out and began pouring himself a glass. Popping open his own beer bottle he drank, waiting for Kazama to fill his bottle.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Sit down, I don’t think anyone has told you what has been going on yet. Quick question, did you hear the rumor going around at headquarters about me?” Suwa shook his head, grabbing the wine bottle to pour himself a glass.</p>
<p>"I thought so, settle in, this is going to take a while to explain.”   </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fuck, its been almost two weeks since I last updated this fic. Sorry about that, i've been busy with graduation and this has kind-of been on the back burner. I'll be sure to make the next chapter come out faster. Also I might be updating the first couple of chapters since they kinda sucked.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Kizaki V</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite Kazama seeming to have deeper feelings towards Kizaki than the other way around, Kizaki was taking the initiative with moving forward with their relationship. He didn’t mind; he conceded in his mind that their relationship was moving fast, but it interested him that how hesitant Kazama was being. The man he likes it right in front of him and is more than willing to get romantic with him. So why didn’t he do anything?</p>
<p>After their first kiss in the park, Kizaki realized that Kazama was holding himself back. It seemed like he was being overly cautious, in fear of… what? He wouldn’t dare ask that to Kazama’s face in fear of being beaten to a pulp, yet he knew he had to help him get over it.</p>
<p>But Kizaki couldn’t get it out of his mind how strange it was. Kazama seemed like a role model to the younger Border agents and was friends with them beyond that. He might have been trying to get over his own problems through the kids; by living through them and their problems, he was helping himself.</p>
<p>Kazama had said earlier in the week he hadn’t gone on a date with anyone in years. He couldn’t judge, he was in the same situation, and it made their relationship unknown territory for him. Kazama might have been over-thinking things, but Kizaki was doing the same thing right now.</p>
<p>Kizaki had tried to help Kazama get used to acting affectionate in public by getting closer to him physically, but that only made him freak out. Putting your hand on someone’s thigh probably shouldn’t be the first step, he noted. Even after their kiss his reassurance the no one was around was just to get him more comfortable. He was talking out of his ass. Not the brightest idea he ever had, but if it helps him get out of his head, it should be worth it.</p>
<p>He had gotten back into his car from the park, blowing hot air over his frigid body, when he got a text from Suwa. It was weird seeing Suwa text him. Usually the blonde would call him and burst out his eardrums. He just sent one sentence, one with no emojis or exclamation points that usually littered his messages.</p>
<p>&gt;Are you going out with Kazama?</p>
<p>Kazama mentioned earlier he and Suwa were planning a get together. He guessed that meant Kazama told him about their relationship, which is probably for the best. Suwa was more… forgiving and playful towards Kazama when it came to talking about their love lives. In fact, he was certain Suwa had a man crush towards Kazama, which helped their case.</p>
<p>He hesitant tapped on his phone.</p>
<p>&gt;Yeah, I am.</p>
<p>He felt not explaining and leaving it to Kazama was the best choice of action. He had always been better at explanations than him. He turned the ignition on, his car making a horrible puttering sound. Recently he had been doing more driving than usual and with that his car had been sounding increasingly sicklier as each day passed. He wanted to fix it, but on a college kid salary he didn’t really have a choice.</p>
<p>While trying to heat the car, his phone lit up.</p>
<p>&gt;Awesome! We should have a double date with me and my girlfriend, and you and Kazama. That’s great man, I expect great things!</p>
<p>Interesting response. Kizaki was honestly scared to meet Suwa’s girlfriend. What kind of woman could handle a high-maintenance alcoholic like Suwa? He shuttered at the thought.</p>
<p>He drove out of the parking lot and towards Tamakoma. He had assignments to do, and he needed to focus without the other Tamakoma members asking him for favors. His car screeched to a halt in front of the base. Noticing Rindou and Yuri from the rooftop, he played with his fingernails. He internally prayed Yuri didn’t talk to him. On the surface it looked like everything was fine, but to them things had transformed.</p>
<p>Their whole dynamic back then was Kizaki following Yuri around and blushing at the mere mentions of her. Now the opposite is happening, and Kizaki isn’t sure Yuri knows he has moved on. Or maybe she knows and is denying it. In fact, he isn’t even sure Yuri knows the person he’s dating going out with is Kazama.</p>
<p>For context, Kazama was the only person Yuri didn’t like. When they would drink together Yuri always scowled at Kazama and it made going out with both of them at the same time an awkward mess. He didn’t know why she had it out for him. Maybe it was because when Kazama was around he didn’t obsess over Yuri and focused on Kazama.</p>
<p>He sighed, it was a bitch dealing with all this drama at once; it was draining. He opened the door to see Youtarou sprawled out on the couch with Raijinmaru. He lit up when Kizaki walked through.</p>
<p>“Reiji! You’re back!” He stumbled over to Kizaki and gave him a hug around his leg. He reached down and ruffled Youtarou’s hair.</p>
<p>“What have you been doing buddy?” He pat Raijinmaru and put on his helmet. “Me and Raijinmaru have been exploring with Yuri.” Kizaki smiled.</p>
<p>Youtarou gave a thumbs up, “This is one step towards making her my bride!” Kizaki always thought his obsession with Yuri was over-the-top, but he has to remind himself Youtarou is just a kid who probably sees Yuri as a goddess.</p>
<p>“Well, when you get older, you can get married to her like you want.” His eyes glowed through his goggles. “Really? What about you Reiji? I thought you wanted to marry her?”  </p>
<p>Kizaki felt a vein pop in his forehead. Kids are always blunt, “I’ve found someone else I’m spending time with, you can try with Yuri.” He tilted his head.</p>
<p>“Who could be better than Yuri?” It surprised him he phrased the question like that. He lifted Youtarou up and onto Raijinmaru.</p>
<p>“Maybe you’ll see who it is someday.” He spun around, hearing sounds travel down the stairs. Rindou and Yuri stopped their conversation to stare at Kizaki. Noticing Yuri’s puffy eyes, he smiled half-heartedly and retreated to his room without a word. Awkward was a good description of all their interactions now, not excluding that one.</p>
<p>How long had it been since they had an actual conversation? Too long if you ask him. Kizaki wanted things to go back to semi-normal functions; this avoidance was eating him up inside, but he wanted to avoid one scenario. The one scenario would be Yuri and Kazama in the same room, bonus points if they were talking to each other. He knew the two didn’t like each other. With Kazama it was easy to see why. But with Yuri he didn’t know why she held a disdain towards Kazama.  </p>
<p>Kizaki sighed, yet another question he was afraid to ask. Maybe he should pick up some pointers from Youtarou on how to be blunt, it would do him some good. He flopped onto his bed. He glanced at his clock; it was almost noon, but he felt like he had done enough to be heading to bed for the night. Kizaki knew he should get to his work, yet his backpack lay by the side of the bed, anyway.</p>
<p>Daydreaming, he wished he could have talked with Kazama more. Their date had sent his heart into overdrive and his mouth running like a motorboat. It was an addicting thought, and then he remembered they planned another date soon. Another date with his boyfriend.</p>
<p>Kizaki huffed, and whispered “boyfriend”, to himself. It didn’t roll off the tongue as well as he thought it would. It was foreign in his mouth, he had almost never said it referring to someone else. It caught in his throat a little when he tried saying it out loud again. Technically, they never said they were boyfriend and- well, boyfriend, so he didn’t have to say it.</p>
<p>He shook off the thought and got up to do something more productive with his time. He dug through his backpack, dragging out a hefty folder, papers slipping out of it. He saw a mix of B’s and C’s drawn in red pen along the top of them. Stuffing them back, he noted to not let Kazama go through his binder. He would get scolded to hell and back if he let Kazama how much he was lacking at school.</p>
<p>Which is exactly why he should focus instead of thinking about Kazama. He pulled out his laptop, then to an essay he had been writing for English. He glanced at the bottom left corner: 500 words. The minimum was 5000; he had a long way to go.</p>
<p>He tapped for two minutes and wanted a break from his suffering. The emptiness in-front of him was sucking in every word he typed. For each letter he pressed thousands needed to be typed after, and this was just his rough draft. Kizaki could feel his face droop. He couldn’t focus, his thoughts were scrambling around in his head.</p>
<p>Stripping off his clothes he put on some workout gear, he needed something mindless to do. He cracked open the door to his room and sneaked down the hallway. The living room was motionless, good.</p>
<p>His shoes hit the floor underneath soundlessly, and he flung himself out the door when he reached the door handle. He didn’t bother stretching and started with a sprint to get away from the Tamakoma base. The cold outside burned his ears, and it lapped against his bare legs. His body was already begging him to stop a quarter of a mile away, but after his breathing steadied and he slowed to a jog, his body adjusted to the sudden burst of activity.</p>
<p>The river next to him didn’t help against the cold, instead strengthening it. The light spray weighed him down and made the jog even harder on his body. After a mile, he stopped to catch his breath. His lunges burned from the icy air, but his lunges craved it. Above him, the sun poked through the clouds to give him a ray of warmth. He burst into a jog again to keep the momentum going.</p>
<p>The pavement underneath was harsh against his ankles, but he continued anyway. After another mile he took a second break. His phone chimed again, and he knew he should check his phone. He crouched down and blocked the sun with his body to see the screen better. There was a message from Rindou and Osamu.</p>
<p>He checked the one from Rindou first, who had texted him first. It just said he was picking up the kids from school, Osamu’s message said the same thing. It wasn’t often Rindou insisted on it, usually he was busy fighting the upper management at Headquarters or filling in paperwork. He stretched his limbs for a few minutes before, yet again, speeding into a jog. He was feeling the effects of sprinting the first bit and felt himself slowing down. He still had another full mile until he got back to base, but he knew he shouldn’t stop.</p>
<p>The rest of the jog had him heaving. He could tell he was weaker than usual. Treading up to the front door of Tamakoma, his feet dragged along the ground, barely holding up his body. He half-heartedly glanced around for Rindou’s car but didn’t see it anywhere along the street. With his hand on the doorknob, he felt an ominous presence that shrunk all the sweat back into his body. Twisting the knob, the moment he looked inside he regretted it.</p>
<p>Yuri was sitting on the couch, a can of beer in one hand, the TV remote in the other. Next to her was a tissue-box, most shriveled next to her in a ball. They both froze and locked eye contact. He kept his hand on his doorknob while Yuri lost the color on her flushed face.</p>
<p>“Hey.” He said, dragging out the ‘y’. She said nothing back, just continued to stare at Kizaki. He took a step inside and closed the door behind him. She shook herself out of her trance and gave Kizaki an awkward wave.</p>
<p>He walked over to the couch and sat down. His back was as straight as an arrow and he gripped his knees like his life depended on it.</p>
<p>“So, do you want to talk?” Kizaki asked. He was a hypocrite, this was one of things he wanted to avoid, yet here he was. The flush on Yuri’s face was returning, and she turned towards Kizaki, sniffling occasionally.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to talk to you. It hurts when I think about you, talking won’t be any better.” She was clearly tipsy. It seemed like her, Kazama, and Suwa had a plan to day-drink. But she wasn’t having an enjoyable time compared to the other two.</p>
<p>“Why did you have to move on to someone else?” It seemed like a question she already knew the answer to. Kizaki just stayed silent.</p>
<p>“Who is it?” She asked after a moment. Kizaki stayed as tight-lipped as the first question, even though this time she really meant for him to answer. He shook his head. He really didn’t want to tell her and it read all over his face.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to tell me?” He only looked away. “You’re not going to tell me.” He stared at his feet.</p>
<p>She shook her head and gathered up the used tissues. It was like they were breaking up with the amount of sadness in the air, but they were never a couple to begin with. He felt like an asshole who broke up with the sweet girl next door.</p>
<p>“I just moved on. I didn’t realize you felt the same way about me.” She shuffled away from Kizaki.</p>
<p>“I guess I realized too late.” She got up and moved towards her room. She glanced at him one last time before moving down the hallway. It seemed right at that moment a ding echoed through the room. He pulled out his phone and saw Kazama texted him. For the first time in a couple weeks, he didn’t feel excited when he saw his name pop up.</p>
<p>&gt;You want to make some dinner with me tomorrow night hot stuff?</p>
<p>‘Hot Stuff’? That was definitely Suwa talking, Kazama would never say something like that. He dialed Kazama’s number and let the phone ring a couple times. It clicked on and Suwa cleared his voice through the phone.</p>
<p>“Yooooo, what’s up? This is Suwa. Leave a message after the beep. ‘beeeeeeeee-’” Suwa hung up the phone on him. They should be fine, right? He pulled up the messaging app and tried not to think about it.</p>
<p>&gt;Cool. Tell Kazama I’m down.</p>
<p>Suwa sent a string of emojis after, including some eggplants and some winky faces. Suwa’s such a fucking weirdo. He headed to his room and flung open his laptop. The blank page in front of him didn’t seem as daunting as before, and he typed away furiously into the night. Until he saw the moonlight, he hunched his back over the laptop screen with his eyes watering from how much he was staring at the screen.</p>
<p>He dragged his face down with his hands, feeling the circles under his eyes. The living room was lively outside, but he needed to get through editing the ten pages he just wrote. He could feel his motivation running thin and needed a pick-me-up. He opened his door and walked to the kitchen, hoping for no one to notice him.</p>
<p>He saw Jin make eye contact with him the moment he set foot in the kitchen, and he saw Shiori smile at him while making dinner for everyone. She tapped him on the shoulder while he was looking in the fridge for a snack.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to make you something?” She asked.</p>
<p>“No, it’s all right. I’ve been procrastinating long enough on my essay, I don’t need anything else distracting me.” He took some fruit out and saw Shiori with a bigger smile on her face when he closed the fridge door.</p>
<p>“What’s up?” He asked.</p>
<p>“You seem a lot happier recently. Did something happen?” Her smile made it obvious she knew what was happening. Kizaki sighed and grabbed a bowl to dump his snacks into.  </p>
<p>“Not much has changed. I guess I just have an outlet now.” She chopped up some vegetables and poured them into a pot. He retreated into his room and spent the rest of the night trying to finish up the rest of his homework. Around 1 am he felt his eyelids droop, and his face hit the keyboard.</p>
<p>When he woke up in the morning, he had a crick in his neck and squares imprinted into his cheek. Kizaki stretched and caught a musty smell emanating off of him. He needed a shower, now.</p>
<p>After checking his essay that had nearly two pages of random characters written on it, he jumped into the shower to scrub the sweat off of him. He made sure to blow-dry his hair today; he wanted to make sure it looked nice for Kazama in the evening. Putting on a form fitting pair of pants with a t-shirt, he walked into the living room to take the kids to headquarters.</p>
<p>Osamu, Yuma, and Chika had gathered in the living room, and they head off without Kizaki getting himself breakfast. Despite being only 8 in the morning, there were quite a few people shuffling around already. He saw Osamu go off with Kitora, Yuma bounce with Kageura, and Chika group up with Ema and Touma for sniper training. For Kizaki he didn’t know who was around for him to talk to so he made his way towards the cafeteria. Their breakfast selection was slim pickings but he was hungry from not eating a full meal the night before.</p>
<p>Just as he picked up some food, he saw a familiar mochi-eating man sitting at a table not far away. Kizaki didn’t particularly want to talk to Tachikawa today. The man would probably ask for them to fight and he didn’t feel up for that. He hadn’t noticed Tachikawa yet, and he was about to get away when someone tapped on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Kizaki! I don’t see you at Headquarters much, how have you been!” Kako smiled at Kizaki, and her voice echoed into Tachikawa’s ears. He looked over, mochi still in his mouth. He waved over at the pair and Kako dragged him towards Tachikawa. They both smiled, looking like cats making a devilish plot. Kizaki could see why Kazama found them annoying.</p>
<p>“So, how are you and Kazama doing?” Kizaki crossed his arms. He imagined Kazama just wanted them to go away and gave them some information, but with him he wasn’t planning on getting himself trapped in their cycle of annoyance.</p>
<p>“We’re fine. If you’re planning on getting anything else out of me, I’m not budging.” Kizaki could see them sweat a bit. They weren’t planning on him knowing their tactics.</p>
<p>“We just wanted to know what was happening! This is an interesting dynamic. It’ll be fun to watch!” Kako’s smile curled up and Tachikawa copied her.</p>
<p>“What you mean to say is ‘It’ll be fun to spread through Headquarters like wildfire’. I know what you two are doing.” He leaned in towards the pair, “and I’m not falling for it.” Tachikawa huffed dramatically.</p>
<p>“Fine, we’ll just go to Kazama instead, it’s easier to annoy him into talking, anyway.” Speak of the devil Kazama walked through the cafeteria, coffee in hand. Immediately Kizaki noticed something off; he was definitely in a nasty mood. A kind of, ‘not in the mood for your bullshit’ mood. He was about to warn Tachikawa and Kako but decided they needed to know not to mess with Kazama when he’s like this. He simply put his hands behind his head and watched the chaos unfold.</p>
<p>What they hadn’t noticed in their blissful stroll over towards Kazama were some warning signs Kizaki picked up immediately that would have helped them approach Kazama. Or not approach him at all, if they used their minds once in a while. The first warning sign he saw that the pair hadn’t noticed was the hood of his hoodie over his head. He never did that and was a death wish for anyone who approached. The second sign was his overflowed backpack: he knew at the end of the week he would either be cramming or trying to turn in assignments last minute. Either way, he didn’t want to be bothered.</p>
<p>The third and final sign was he went drinking with Suwa last night, which meant he had a hangover. The pair didn’t know that, but if they did, they definitely wouldn’t have tried anything. Using a smile as a facade, Tachikawa was the first to speak up.</p>
<p>“Hey Kazama! How are you doing?” He placed a hand on Kazama’s shoulder and instantly the color drained from his face. The sheer aura radiating off of Kazama made Tachikawa’s legs to shake. Even Kizaki, from half-way across the cafeteria, could feel the chilly air encircling him. Immediately after, Kako ditched him and Kizaki saw her pray for Tachikawa’s safety to whatever god was willing to take him. Kazama smiled slightly and placed a vice-grip on Tachikawa’s hand.</p>
<p>“I’m doing just beautifully Tachikawa. Can you tell?” He was gripping Tachikawa’s hand so hard his fingertips were turning purple and Tachikawa fell to his knees from pain.</p>
<p>“I submit! I submit!” He was tapping against Kazama’s leg. “Tap-out! Tap-out!” Kazama bent down to Tachikawa’s level and gave him a smile. Tachikawa sobbed even harder.</p>
<p>“Please don’t kill me!” Kazama lifted up Tachikawa’s chin to make him stare into Kazama’s eyes.</p>
<p>“You know I’ve been having a shitty morning, and I really didn’t want you to come over here with your fake-ass smile trying to prod me like a fucking horse.” Tachikawa was writhing in pain and only half-listening to Kazama by this point.</p>
<p>“So, I have some demands to ensure you’ll be alive to see tomorrow. If you don’t follow them, I will find you and make sure you experience excruciating pain. Worse than this. Do you understand?” Tachikawa nodded furiously.</p>
<p>“One, don’t bother me for the rest of the week. Two, tell Kako to not bother me for the rest of the week. And three, don’t fuck with Kizaki for the rest of the week. This includes asking for rank battles too. Do you understand?” Tachikawa nodded again and Kazama let go of his hand. Once they got up a lightbulb seemed to go off in Kazama’s head.</p>
<p>“Oh, and Tachikawa,” he turned hesitantly towards Kazama.</p>
<p>“Ye-“ Kazama’s elbow pierced through Tachikawa sending him across the cafeteria. Kizaki saw the impact ripple through Tachikawa leaving him holding his stomach on the floor. A single tear rolled down his cheek.</p>
<p>Everyone around them backed away from the murder scene, and Kazama stalked over towards Kizaki. Kazama sat down across from him and he sighed, throwing his backpack against the side of the table.</p>
<p>“They will be out of our lives for a week. We should enjoy this.” Kizaki agreed, afraid of the repercussions if he didn’t. He had only seen this kind of anger come out of him once before and it had led to multiple people being scared half to death. Even Miwa, who was an unfortunate bystander, flinches when he sees Kazama walking down the hallway on particularly nasty days. This was why the younger agents called this form of his, a voluntary S-rank. Kazama wasn’t amused, but used the little empathy he had left to stop himself from scarring children.</p>
<p>“How much studying do you have to do?” Kizaki asked him, trying to stop the flow of  steam rising off of him.</p>
<p>“Not much, once I go through my bag and take out most of the useless stuff this bag is going to make me look like I’m a first year.” He threw the bag up onto the table with a thud.</p>
<p>“Do you have anything you need to do this morning? If not, I could use some help organizing this mess.” Kizaki nodded.</p>
<p>“I have to deliver some files for Rindou, but I can meet you at your operator’s room soon.” He smiled, and Kizaki had to fight the urge to run for his life.</p>
<p>“I’ll be waiting. Oh, and only Mikami will be there. The other two are on a school trip.” Kizaki grinned, and they parted ways. After their first interaction, Kizaki was glad Kikuchihara would not be there sending demon eyes his way. Heading towards Shinoda’s office, he heard Kazama’s display in the cafeteria making its rounds around the base. It was funny hearing people speculate that he had actually killed Tachikawa or something to that effect.</p>
<p>Arriving at the office, Shinoda accepted the files with no complaints and the pair chatted for a few minutes, mostly about how well Tamakoma-2 was doing in the rank wars. At the end of their chat, his voice dropped into a whisper. “I heard about what happened in the cafeteria, if Tachikawa is causing a racket send him to me. I know Kazama has his hands full with him on most days.”</p>
<p>Kizaki said he would send the message along and made his way towards Kazama-squads room. On the way there he saw Tachikawa and Izumi talking in front of their squad door and when Tachikawa noticed Kizaki, he booked it down the hallway.</p>
<p>“If you can tell him Shinoda wants to see him in his office, I would be grateful.” He was about to turn and leave when Izumi cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“I have a question for you.” Kizaki turned around to face the teen.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“How do you and Kazama…?” He made some gestures in the air and raised his eyebrows at Kizaki. That… that was the entire question. It seemed like Tachikawa had been influencing him too much, he was picking up some of his mannerisms.</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure either.” Izumi put a finger up like he would say something but curled it back into his fist once he thought for a second. It seemed like that was the smartest thing Kizaki could have said at that moment.</p>
<p>“So, you don’t know how to control him?”</p>
<p>“Even if I could, I still would have made him beat the shit out of Tachikawa.” He threw a thumbs-up towards him and backed into his operator’s room. Izumi seemed slightly scared of Kazama, and Kizaki didn’t blame him. He made the rest of the way towards Kazama’s room with no detours and opened the door without introducing himself.</p>
<p>The raven-haired man was sitting at the table, his laptop illuminating his face, while Mikami was at her operating table with her headphones on. She waved at Kizaki, and he sat across from Kazama. Typing away at his keyboard, Kizaki smiled at him.  He still had his hood up and when Kizaki studied his face, he saw black circles under his eyes.</p>
<p>“Can I ask what happened with you and Suwa?” He nodded and stretched his arms above his head.</p>
<p>“Yeah, the gist of it is: I drank too much, threw up, and we watched some stupid movies, I don’t even remember what they were about.” Kazama took off his hood and ran his hands through his hair. It looked fluffy, and Kizaki wanted to touch it.</p>
<p>“Did you take some medicine?” Kizaki asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, I did, but I can’t say the same for Suwa, he was still asleep when I left.” Kizaki tilted his head.</p>
<p>“He has a key?”</p>
<p>“It’s under the doormat. He only knows that because he has a habit of staying over when we hangout.” Kizaki scratched the back of his head. He didn’t like Suwa being able to waltz inside his apartment whenever he felt like it.</p>
<p>“Cool, anyway let’s see how much you need sort though your papers.” Kazama took out two binders that were spilling papers everywhere.</p>
<p>“They’re labeled which Unit it is up at the top.” They started sorting through papers, Kizaki occasionally running into a stapled essay, and admiring all the A’s he saw next to the Unit. He knew Kazama was a bit of a book nerd, but he didn’t realize how good his grades were. Spending all your time studying will do that.</p>
<p>“You’re smart, you know that?” Kazama looked up from sorting.</p>
<p>“Why do you think that?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Well, it looks like you make straight A’s and you’re an amazing tactician too.” Kazama shook his head.</p>
<p>“I just know how to study, and I didn’t always know how to be a good tactician.’ Kizaki chuckled a bit.</p>
<p>“You’re too humble, take a complement sometime.” They both smiled, and they heard footsteps from the other room. Mikami was gathering up her stuff off the couch and turned towards the pair.</p>
<p>“Some operators are having a meeting in one office. I’ll be back later.” Kazama hummed without moving his gaze away from the papers, and Mikami waved goodbye to Kizaki. When the door closed, Kizaki opened his mouth to say something when he felt cold lips meet his own. For only a brief second, he felt a fluttering in his stomach and soon as it swooped in, Kazama sat back down in his seat, breaking them apart.</p>
<p>“I had been meaning to do that for a while.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t want Mikami seeing?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want anyone seeing, really.” Kazama started sorting papers again, but Kizaki wanted to talk more. He slid next to Kazama and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug.</p>
<p>“You said you would help sort these papers?” Kizaki hummed.</p>
<p>“That can wait, and we were almost done, anyway.” Kazama put down the papers and ran his hands through Kizaki’s hair, sending shivers down his spine. Kizaki closed his eyes and pushed his head against Kazama’s chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was calm at first, but when Kizaki started running his hands across Kazama’s spine, his breathing and his heartbeat intensified.</p>
<p>“You’re getting excited.” Kizaki pointed out.</p>
<p>“It’s been a while since I’ve done this with someone. Anything will make my heart go wild.” Kazama leaned back and laid down on the couch, Kizaki following him. His own heart was going wild, and, opposite to Kazama, he felt his face heat. Kizaki traveled up and, remembering he hadn’t shaved that morning, ran his stubble against Kazama’s neck.</p>
<p>“Shit. That hurts.” Just to tick him off, Kizaki pushed their cheeks together, hearing protest from Kazama.</p>
<p>“Now you’re just rubbing it in my face that I can’t grow a beard.” Kazama hissed.</p>
<p>“Well, I’m more rubbing on your face than in it.” He didn’t appreciate that and pushed Kizaki’s face away. He had a moment to look at Kazama’s face; a slight pink flowed across his face and the tips of his ears. How Kazama wasn’t as red as a strawberry was beyond him. Kazama ran both his hands across Kizaki’s neck and behind his ears.</p>
<p>Kizaki felt a vibration through Kazama’s pocket, and he plucked it out of his pocket.</p>
<p>“Miwa texted you.” He handed Kazama the phone, who unlocked it and sighed.</p>
<p>“He needs some help with paperwork. I should probably head over to help him.” Kizaki got off of him and stood up when a question popped into his mind.</p>
<p>“Just wondering, does Miwa hate asking for help?”</p>
<p>“Not really, he knows what his limits are and usually when he asks for help he just wants the ‘Idiot Trio’ gone.” Kizaki snickered.</p>
<p>“Idiot Trio?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, when Izumi, Midorikawa, and Yoneya get together he calls them the ‘Idiot Trio’.” Kizaki was about to gather up his stuff when Kazama stopped him.</p>
<p>“You can stay here. Mikami won’t mind, and I won’t.” Kizaki thought about it for a moment and laid down on the couch again.</p>
<p>“All right, I’ll wait for you here, hot stuff.” Kazama visible repulsed when Kizaki called him ‘hot stuff’.</p>
<p>“That is disgusting, never say that again.”</p>
<p>“I’m just quoting you.” Kizaki retorted.</p>
<p>“You’re quoting Suwa. See you in a bit.” He closed the door behind him and Kizaki let out the breath he was holding. The amount of self confidence that rushed to his head when they were alone was almost as much as Tachikawa and Kako combined. With the adrenaline subsiding, he started getting sleepy and passed out nearly right after that. He heard the door open twice while he was napping, once for Mikami, whose heels made it obvious it was her, and Kazama who ruffled his hair when he came in.</p>
<p>He woke up after Kazama had already settled back into the seat across from him and was soothing him with the sound of tapping keys. The clock on his phone barely ticked past 1; his cat nap had lasted a couple hours. He heard Mikami chatting with someone through her headset and Kazama focused on his laptop when Kizaki sat up.</p>
<p>“How long was I out for?”</p>
<p>“A couple hours. You looked tired anyway, so letting you sleep didn’t seem like it would hurt.” He was grateful for Kazama letting him sleep in his operating room. It seemed like the night on his laptop didn’t do much to his sleep-starved body.</p>
<p>“How was Miwa?” Kazama glanced at him for a second and continued tapping on his laptop while talking.</p>
<p>“He was fine, apparently Tachikawa asked him to do his captain’s report for him and he needed help with it. So, I’m doing it for him because Tachikawa shouldn’t be his problem.”</p>
<p>“And Tachikawa should be your problem?” The tapping stopped for a moment while Kazama thought about his answer.</p>
<p>“Yes, and no. He gets some sympathy with me because he keeps Jin occupied and out of my hair, and even if he were to do this himself, he would screw it up and I would do it, anyway.” Kizaki hummed in response and shifted to sit next to Kazama. He scooted away in response and looked up towards where Mikami was sitting. She wasn’t concerned about them at all but he could feel the tension radiating off Kazama.</p>
<p>“She’s not going to look at us and she won’t care, anyway.”  ‘That’s not the point’ is what Kazama said with his eyes. He tapped at his laptop again, occasionally scooting away when Kizaki tried to get closer. Kazama noticed he was being backed into the wall behind them and pushed against Kizaki to stop himself from being squished. For being almost half his size, Kazama was fairing scarily well against Kizaki.    </p>
<p>“Where did you get this kind of inhuman strength?” He smirked and shoved Kizaki back towards the edge of the couch.</p>
<p>“I get it when something is pissing me off, and I am trying to channel it into this stupid report.” Kizaki put his hands up in defense and backed away from Kazama. He pinched the bridge of his nose and Kizaki saw a vein pop in his forehead.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I snapped at you, I’ve just been at this for hours and I need a break.” Kizaki smiled and under the table grabbed Kazama’s hand.</p>
<p>“We can go back to your place after you finish. You wanted to make dinner, right?” Kazama nodded. They both stared into each other’s eyes and a knock made them flinch. Mikami was standing in the doorway, a clipboard hiding her face except for her eyes.</p>
<p>“I was wondering if you two wanted something sweet from the cafeteria.” Kazama looked like he had something stuck in his throat, so Kizaki stuttered a reply.</p>
<p>“We’re fine but thank you for asking.” She shifted her gaze to the ground and left, her ears visibly red as their gaze followed her out. She probably felt like she was ruining an intimate moment.</p>
<p>“She looked embarrassed.” Kizaki said after a moment. Kazama just buried his head in his hands in response. Without looking, he pressed a button on his laptop.</p>
<p>“There. This report is done. Let’s get out of here.” They both scrambled, gathering their stuff together and made their way outside. Kizaki made sure the kids had rides back to Tamakoma, and the two were careful not to run into anyone chatty on the way outside.</p>
<p>“Now would be the time to decide what we want to make for dinner.” Both of their stomachs growled as they got into Kizaki’s car. Kizaki was thinking something easy to make would be the best. He wanted Kazama to make dinner with him.</p>
<p>“I already got the stuff to make some pork cutlet curry, if that sounds good.” Kazama said. Kizaki nodded in agreement. It wasn’t too difficult to make curry. They tossed their bags into the backseat and Kizaki prayed his car would start. He twisted the key and with a few coughs the car came to life. He drove out of the parking lot towards Kazama’s apartment, staying fearful his car would bust at the seams.</p>
<p>“Also, I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he looked out towards the window, away from Kizaki, “if you wanted to stay the night at my place I wouldn’t mind.” Kizaki gulped and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Him staying over meant the two would be in the apartment together, alone. The tips of his ears heated, and he felt the saliva building up in his mouth. Kazama wasn’t looking at him, but he felt the air shift.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want to that’s fine, you know?” Kizaki nodded. He jumped when the car behind him beeped. The light had turned green.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that sounds awesome. I guess we should go to Tamakoma so I can pick up some stuff.” Kizaki repeated the sentence back in his head and realized ‘awesome’ was the worst descriptor he could have used. He cringed, replaying his ten-second past-self say that. What was that dude thinking? They made a sharp right and Kizaki caught Kazama staring at the river next to them. It was nearly frozen over, chunks of ice floating with the current.</p>
<p>They had gotten to Tamakoma, and Kizaki’s cautious side had caught up to him. Yuri was most likely inside, and he didn’t want Kazama interacting with her at all. But before he could react, Kazama was already heading up the stairs.</p>
<p>“Wait, Kazama!” He turned around and looked at Kizaki, confused.</p>
<p>“What? I’ve been here before. Usually the door is unlocked, right?” He twisted the doorknob, and the door squeaked open. Kizaki sighed in relief, seeing no one in the living room. Kazama stepped inside, Kizaki following him and shutting the door behind them.</p>
<p>“My room is this way.” Kazama had made his way through the Tamakoma base plenty of times before and didn’t need an introduction to the intricacies he already knew about. For a second Kizaki panicked, thinking if he had anything embarrassing thrown around his room, if any clothes had been collected into piles near his bed, or if it smelled like a dirty gym in his room. It was making him sweat what was behind his room’s closed door.</p>
<p>“Are you okay? You look anxious.” Kazama pointed out. Kizaki took a deep sigh and opened the door. Everything was fine, he wasn’t a messy person and last night he didn’t throw anything embarrassing on the floor.</p>
<p>“I don’t know it is about it, but it really is you in here.” Kazama pointed out. Kizaki pulled out a small suitcase and loaded it with the essentials he needed. Clothes, shampoo, toothbrush, anything he felt like he might need.</p>
<p>“All right lets head out.” Kizaki saw the light on in Usami’s room and he knocked at her door. He cracked open the door hearing Usami inside and he waved. She took the headphones off her head and waved back.</p>
<p>“What’s up?” She asked.</p>
<p>“I’m not going to be here for dinner or tonight, just to let you know.” She nodded and smiled.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?”</p>
<p>“Hey Usami!” Kazama called from the hall. She lit up when she heard Kazama’s voice and jumped up to greet him. They were getting chatty, and Kizaki was getting worried with all the noise Yuri was going to show up soon. He kept glancing down the hallway and Kazama shot him a curious look.</p>
<p>“Well, I won’t stop you two any longer. Have a nice night!” She closed the door to her room and Kizaki ushered Kazama out the front door. He kept pushing the smaller man’s back until they were in the car and Kazama noticed his weird behavior.</p>
<p>“You’re acting kind of weird.” Kazama pointed out. Kizaki threw his suitcase in the back and glanced out the window again towards Tamakoma.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kazama cocked his head to the side, he knew Kizaki was lying.</p>
<p>“You don’t need to worry about anything. Some things are just tense at Tamakoma right now.” Kazama didn’t press any further. He didn’t seem satisfied with Kizaki’s answer, but Kazama wasn’t getting any more information out of him.</p>
<p>They filled the ride with the muffled hum of the heater, and the radio playing softly in the background. The sun had gone down in the sky, the heat lightly hitting against Kizaki’s cheek.</p>
<p>Inside Kazama’s apartment it was chilly as usual, and Kizaki set his suitcase next to the couch. Kazama flicked on the kitchen light and started taking out the ingredients they needed to make curry.</p>
<p>“Could you take out the rest of the stuff from the fridge? I need to get comfortable.” Kazama walked back into his room and shut the door. Kizaki walked over to the fridge, taking out the pork, vegetables, and some spices Kazama forgot to get out. He also grabbed himself a beer Suwa left there. He turned on the stove and laid out the vegetables on a cutting board.</p>
<p>“That website you showed me said it would take around an hour to make.” Kazama had come back in sweatpants and a t-shirt that showed off his biceps beautifully. It wasn’t even that revealing, but Kizaki looked away, anyway.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but it’ll go by fast.” Kazama put his phone on the counter and pulled up the recipe while Kizaki was already chopping up the vegetables. It wasn’t his usual kitchen set he was using, so Kizaki was trying his best to go as slow as possible. Along with that he had started up the rice cooker in the corner.</p>
<p>“It already looks like you got some things going.” Kazama said. Kizaki glanced around and realized he had already got most of the preparing done. He turned at Kazama with an apologetic look. They were supposed to be cooking together.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I got carried away.” Kazama sighed and a light bulb went off in Kizaki’s head. “Do you want to learn how to cut these properly? I can show you.” Kazama nodded while he was washing his hands in the sink. Kizaki gave him the knife and positioned himself behind Kazama. He took Kazama’s hands in his own and positioned them how he would his own. The smaller man’s hands were chilly, and he got sidetracked running his thumb across Kazama’s knuckles. Kizaki was too busy filling his senses to realize Kazama was waiting impatiently beneath him.</p>
<p>“I don’t know about you but I’m kind of hungry so,”</p>
<p>“Oh, right! Sorry.” He chopped at the onions he had set out on the cutting board. First, he cut up the onions horizontally, then finely cut them into smaller chunks. Kazama’s hands glided with his and through the carrots and potatoes he followed Kizaki’s every movement. He let go after a while and picked at the packaging around the pork.</p>
<p>“I’m going to get this ready if you can keep cutting up the rest of the vegetables.” Kazama nodded and Kizaki saw his hands bob up and down in the corner of his eye.</p>
<p>Kizaki started by whisking the eggs in a bowl and the breadcrumbs in another. He washed his hands again and coated the pork in layers of eggs and breadcrumbs. He saw Kazama had dumped the rest of the vegetables into the pot, so he asked him to fill another pot up with vegetable oil.</p>
<p>“We need to wait for it to boil so we have a couple minutes to relax.” Kazama walked towards the living room and picked up Kizaki’s bag.</p>
<p>“I’m going to put this in the bedroom.” Kizaki nodded, and he turned on the TV. He shifted through channels, boring himself in the process.</p>
<p>“I have Netflix if you want to put something on.” Kazama took the remote from Kizaki and clicked through a couple settings to see the logo pop up on screen. He handed the remote back to Kizaki, and he flipped through the ‘popular shows’ tap. Nothing interested him, but what did was Kazama’s personal list. Kizaki had seen he was half-way through Season 3 of an American show called Glee.</p>
<p>“What’s this show?” He asked Kazama. When he looked over Kizaki could see the tips of his ears go red.</p>
<p>“Just a stupid show I keep on in the background. I don’t even understand what they’re saying, I need the subtitles on.” Kizaki felt like he was lying, but he was curious and turned it on, anyway.</p>
<p>“You’re starting it without me?” Kazama called from the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Well, if you just put it on in the background it shouldn’t matter right?” Kizaki could feel Kazama’s anger emanating from the kitchen. It sounded like the oil was heating and he went into the kitchen to fry their pork chops. Setting them into the vegetable oil was satisfying and meant it was almost time for them to eat.</p>
<p>Kazama had already started simmering the vegetables with the curry roux and the rice had just got done in the rice cooker. They already had their plates set up, both of them were drooling from how hungry they were, and they just needed a couple more minutes for everything to get perfect.</p>
<p>It was the longest five minutes of Kizaki’s life. It seemed like every second he was looking at his phone to check the time and even Kazama, who was watching his ‘stupid show’, was bouncing his leg impatiently. They both sipped on their drinks waiting and when their timer went off, it sent them into a frenzy. Kizaki had already started cutting the pork, Kazama had got the rice on the plates, and all they needed was the satisfying coat of curry on top.</p>
<p>“You do the honors.” He told Kazama, who immediately grabbed the pot and lathered the curry on top. It looked glorious, and the flavors exploded inside their mouths.</p>
<p>“Maybe we should sit down before we eat everything.” Kizaki nodded through bites. It didn’t take a couple minutes before they both were stuffed. Kazama ran his tongue along the plate, trying to get any last drop left. Kizaki noticed he had a drop on his cheek and ran his finger across his Kazama’s cheek. Confused, he looked at Kizaki.</p>
<p>“You had a little on your cheek.” He hummed and took their plates to the sink to wash them. Kizaki followed him and, feeling full and sleepy, hugged Kazama from behind.</p>
<p>“That was good, y’know? We should make something else sometime.” Kazama hummed and started working on the pots. Kizaki shifted his hands down towards Kazama’s waist and Kazama tilted forward over the sink. He put a hand to his mouth and saliva dripped through his fingers. Kizaki backed off.</p>
<p>“Is something wrong?” He asked. Kazama turned around and walked to the bathroom, leaving the sink running. He closed the door, but Kizaki heard Kazama throwing up inside.</p>
<p>“Hey, can I come in?” Kizaki asked.</p>
<p>“Just give me a minute.” Kazama said through the door. Kizaki didn’t know what happened, if he did anything wrong or if he was sick or something like that. The sink ran and he could hear Kazama brushing his teeth, him occasionally coughing. After a couple minutes, Kazama opened the door.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” He nodded, and Kizaki hugged him in relief.</p>
<p>“What was that?” He asked Kazama, who pushed past him into his bedroom. Following him, he saw Kazama change his shirt and toss the other one into his clothes basket.</p>
<p>“I… Just got a little sick and threw up on my shirt.” Kizaki didn’t believe that he was just sick. Everything was fine until the end of their meal, so what happened?</p>
<p>“Geez, I’m feeling tired now.” Kazama said. He plopped down on the couch, the show still playing in the background , and Kizaki sat beside him. Kizaki curled up next to Kazama, and they half-heartedly watched the show. Kazama moved onto his back and Kizaki laid against his chest. His heartbeat was out of control and Kizaki reached up to ruffle his hair.</p>
<p>“Why are you so nervous?” Kazama bent down and pinched Kizaki’s nose.</p>
<p>“This is your first time over here. I’m worried you might find the body in my closet.” Kizaki smiled and took Kazama’s hand off his nose. He kissed the back of Kazama’s hand, and Kazama looked unnerved.  </p>
<p>“You aren’t usually this affectionate.” Kazama pointed out.</p>
<p>“We haven’t been alone before, it’s all pent up inside.” Kizaki said, and he kissed Kazama’s hand again. He took his hand back and got up. Kizaki sat back down on the couch, and Kazama stood up to stretch.</p>
<p>“I’m going to bed, you going to come with?” Kizaki did a double take.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I won’t let you sleep on the couch. My bed is big enough for both of us.” Kazama turned off the TV, leaving them in the dark. The only light came through the blinds from the moon outside.</p>
<p>He walked towards the bedroom, and Kizaki followed him, using the walls to guide his way over. The bedroom had even less light and Kazama had to guide Kizaki towards the bed.</p>
<p>“Which side do you sleep on?” He asked Kizaki.</p>
<p>“I sleep on the left.” Kazama nodded, “Then I’ll sleep on the right.” He took off his shirt, leaving just his sweatpants on, and Kizaki gulped. Kizaki could only see the light reflecting off Kazama’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Are you going to sleep in jeans? Bathroom is over there.” He handed Kizaki his bag, and he crawled into bed. Kazama’s bathroom was tidy, but trendy with a black and white theme. It was the most furnished room in the house, surprisingly. Kizaki took out his toothbrush and noticed in his rush he forgot toothpaste.</p>
<p>He didn’t want to invade Kazama’s privacy, but bad breath didn’t seem like something he wanted too. He first looked through the drawers, not finding anything, then shifted to the cabinets. At the very front of the cabinet was lube, and not toothpaste. Where the hell is the toothpaste? He opened up the second cabinet and saw various boxes and a velvet bag. It looked a bit suspicious so he decided not to mess with it, despite his curiosity growing in his stomach.</p>
<p>In a last ditch effort he pulled the curtain back in the shower and there it was, a toothbrush and toothpaste. He finally got to brush his teeth and change his clothes. When he turned off the bathroom light, the darkness enveloped him and Kizaki couldn’t see anything. He traced along the walls towards the bedroom and stubbed his toe on the side of the bed.</p>
<p>“Shit!” Kizaki muttered under his breath.</p>
<p>“The bedframe juts out a little.” Kazama said through the pillow. Kizaki climbed into bed and laid on his stomach. He tilted his head to face Kazama, who buried his face in the pillow. Kizaki reached over and ran his hand along Kazama’s spine. He shifted away from the touch, and he groaned into the pillow.</p>
<p>“I’m trying to go to sleep. I need to wake up early, if you want to catch me in the morning, you should too.” He shifted to his side away from Kizaki, and Kizaki took his hand back.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.” He saw Kazama lose the tension in his back and he shifted to his back. Under a different ceiling he expected to have a hard time falling asleep, but tonight, he felt calm. For the first time in a couple weeks he fell asleep like a baby, and when he woke in the morning Kazama was gone.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Kazama V</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the morning, Kazama woke up to his phone ringing at a terrifyingly loud volume. Someone was calling him. It was suspiciously early; the time on his clock wrote 6 am, and Kazama slapped his phone to shut it up. Whoever was calling him should have spared him another hour of sleep, he needed whatever he could get from last night. It had already been hard getting comfortable with Kizaki sleeping in the same bed, but the combination of sleeping on the wrong side and the few seconds of physical contact made his night especially hard to get through. And now this asshole ruins what little sleep he got.</p>
<p>He shouldn’t say those were the only things keeping him from having a deep sleep, there were plenty of other reasons he was up half the night. Kizaki shifted when he slept, the mattress didn’t feel right, it was too cold; it was weird, despite having slept in the same bed for years just a minor disturbance was making him pissy..</p>
<p>Luckily, Kizaki hadn’t woken up from the siren, and he tip-toed over to the bathroom. He closed the door, then flipped on the lights. Looking in the mirror was the same face that had been staring at him for weeks on end. A sleep-deprived mess. Though today was especially worse, all things considered. He just went on a date, the man he liked was asleep in his bed, yet the thing staring back at him wasn’t happy.</p>
<p>“Just take it one day at a time.” He whispered to himself before throwing water all over his face and stepping out into the living room. The problem with early mornings was the lack of noise in and outside his apartment. Kazama had noticed from waking up early, 6 to 7 am had been a black hole for noise. The air conditioning that usually ran was off, there were no people walking around upstairs, and no cars shot by in the street outside. He almost felt bad starting his day this early, disturbing the silent peace.</p>
<p>The worst part about it was when his mind filled the void with the things he wanted to think about the least. Like Kizaki running his fingers along his spine last night. He could almost feel the exact line Kizaki drew and the emotions he felt. Sadness, anger, confusion, embarrassment, it all simmered in his stomach creating the mess that had caused him to throw up.</p>
<p>He had a pent-up tightness in his stomach from how ambitious Kizaki was being. Yesterday, he had tried to play it off- ignore it really- but it was eating him up inside. He wanted Kizaki desperately, he just didn’t know how to channel that into words.</p>
<p>‘I want you to love me back, but not that strongly.’</p>
<p>‘Anything you do makes me want to throw up my guts.’</p>
<p>No, he wouldn’t say that. It was ridiculous he was even considering saying that. He turned on the harsh kitchen light, almost blinding himself. He had moved the ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet down to the counter a couple nights ago because his headaches were so frequent. Today was no different. He twisted off the cap and downed two of them.</p>
<p>Again, his phone rang, and he turned off the ringer this time. Whoever was trying to reach him could wait a bit for him to wake up.</p>
<p>He was too afraid Kizaki would wake up to eat at his apartment, so he stuffed a few snacks into his bag. The next thing he needed to do was get dressed, but that involved opening the closet next to the sleeping giant. The floorboards creaked underneath him, and even the carpets felt like static under his feet. Squeaking, the closet opened, and Kazama checked to see if Kizaki moved.</p>
<p>He grabbed his sweatpants and a hoodie and didn’t bother closing the closet behind him. He wrapped a scarf around his neck and slipped on some shoes. The backpack felt heavier than usual on his shoulders, but overall he just felt more sluggish than usual. The last thing he did inside was write a note for Kizaki telling him the extra key was under the front mat that he stuck onto the front door.</p>
<p>Walking to the door, he turned off all the lights, making sure Kizaki wasn’t bothered when he woke up. With the knob in his hand, the cold seeped through his body.</p>
<p>But Kazama didn’t turn the knob, he didn’t want to, not yet. If he really wanted to delay his morning, he could take a cat-nap on the couch, and he could enjoy what little warmth he had in his apartment. He wanted to stay, but his gut was telling him to go away, to flee. So, he stepped outside into the cold.</p>
<p>It was surprisingly welcoming. The cold flooded his senses, leaving him just enough warmth in his legs to carry himself to headquarters. He usually took the bus, but today it didn’t feel right to take the fast way there. Even if he did, he would have been standing there for at least an hour waiting for the first bus of the day. It was getting busier, like the world was finally turning again. The street lights weren’t permanently flickering red, cars were rushing by, and the air was moving again.</p>
<p>He had felt an itch since he woke up that morning. After him and Kizaki’s date he was attempting to quit for good, but he could feel himself breaking with the stress rising. He plucked one out of his bag and held it between his hands, doing the same with his lighter. He fiddled with them both and combined the two with a slight flick.</p>
<p>The first draw was satisfying, the smoke filling deep into his lunges and circling out through his nose. The cancer-stick had never felt so good coursing through his body. Every time he took a puff, he needed to blow to the side, so the smoke didn’t water his eyes, but once Headquarters was looming above him, the wind wasn’t howling in his face anymore. Feeling more level-headed, the next time his phone buzzed in his pocket he picked it up immediately.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“Hey, Kazama, could we talk somewhere? I need some advice.” It was Murakami on the other end. His voice was quivering a bit and instantly Kazama was concerned. He threw down his cigarette on the ground and snuffed it out with his foot.</p>
<p>“Of course, where are you? I’m almost at headquarters.” Kazama said, picking up the pace.</p>
<p>“I’m next to the rank-war booths. Could we meet up somewhere secluded? Maybe your operating room?” He sounded out of breath.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’ll be there soon. I’ll run if you need me to.” Kazama said. Murakami sighed through the phone.</p>
<p>“You don’t need to. Thank you, I’ll see you soon.” The phone clicked off, and he shoved his phone into his pocket. Despite the backpack clanging against his back, he picked up the pace into a jog despite what Murakami said. He shot inside, scaring a group of C-rank agents and yelling sorry on the way towards his operating room.</p>
<p>Running through the hallways, he saw Tachikawa, who shot across the hallway away from him in fear. Kazama slowed down for a second to chuckle.</p>
<p>“Good to see you Tachikawa.” He nervously nodded and Kazama sped up again down the hall.</p>
<p>When he got up to his operating room, he saw Murakami just about to knock on the door. He was surprised to see Kazama slow down next to him.</p>
<p>“That was fast.” He pointed out, stepping back to let Kazama open the door.</p>
<p>“You sounded concerned over the phone, so I ran.” He looked embarrassed, like he didn’t want Kazama to get there so fast, and he nervously sat down at the table. Kazama saw Utagawa, Kikuchihara, and Mikami watching the TV, but they moved to the back once they saw the pair enter.</p>
<p>He mouthed ‘go ahead’ to the two kids and motioned towards the door. They activated their triggers before heading outside leaving the pair alone. Murakami played with his fingers and leaned forward across the table when Kazama sat down.</p>
<p>“So, what’s up?” Kazama asked. Murakami took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“People found out about Arafune and I.” Kazama sighed.</p>
<p>“Shit, I’m sorry. How did he handle it?” He asked Murakami.</p>
<p>“Not very well. Neither did I honestly, it wasn’t a good time for either of us to be outed.” Murakami gulped and chewed on his lip. “It’s not like we weren’t careful, but now he won’t even be in the same room as me.”</p>
<p>He shook his head and looked up towards Kazama. “I don’t know what to do. People have been talking around us. I know you had the same thing happen to you recently, so I was wondering if it affected you and Kizaki at all?” Kazama took a deep breath. It wasn’t that big a deal for him, but he knew Kizaki was annoyed from all the attention.</p>
<p>He would imagine it would be worse for the kids; scratch that, It was definitely worse for the kids.</p>
<p>“Not really, but it was different with us. People fear us anyway, so what’s another rumor, y’know? I think if you explained to your friends why you didn’t tell them, no one else matters.” He nodded and Kazama opened his mouth to add more.</p>
<p>“It sucks, I’ll talk to Arafune about it.” He stiffened when Kazama suggested that. He stammered out a reply, but Kazama talked over him.</p>
<p>“Look, I’m on defense duty for a couple hours but after that I’ll go talk to him.” He still looked unsure but wanted to keep talking to Kazama.</p>
<p>“He isn’t affectionate in public, anyway. I just want him to feel comfortable with me. I care about him but I feel like he’s holding himself back.” They walked towards the front of headquarters while they were talking and Kazama activated his trigger when they were outside.</p>
<p>“It takes time, and it’s scary letting people know, but it’ll be okay. We can talk more soon.” He smiled and Kazama bounced his way over to Kikuchihara and Utagawa, the former throwing up a peace sign and the latter waving at him.</p>
<p>“I miss anything?” He asked them.</p>
<p>“Not really, just a couple small-fry unlucky enough to run into us.” Kikuchihara said. They continued their patrol with little else happening. The daily rush of morning traffic was flowing by, but since it was the weekend, it wasn’t even that congested. In the forbidden zones they saw kids from high schools wandering about, hoping to get a glimpse of a neighbor.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until their shift was almost finished when Kikuchihara spoke up again.</p>
<p>“So, how are you and Kizaki?” It was clear he was asking because he was bored. He was twiddling his thumbs and had been kicking around a wooden board in the rubble.</p>
<p>“Fine, we went on a date yesterday and he stayed the night. How are you doing?” He shrugged and threw a glass bottle towards a cracked mirror.</p>
<p>“Good” The bottle shattered against the rest of the mirror and Kazama picked up some pieces.</p>
<p>“That’s 13 years of bad luck.” Kazama pointed out to Kikuchihara, who threw another bottle anyway.</p>
<p>“I already have bad luck, what’s another 13 years?”</p>
<p>“Funny, but really how have you been? How did your trip go?” Kikuchihara stiffened a bit at the mention of their trip but shook himself a split second later. Utagawa also perked up from across the forbidden zone.</p>
<p>“Yeah, how was it ‘Kiku’?” Kikuchihara shot Utagawa a glare and Kazama tilted his head. Red had spread on his face and he crossed his arms. It was strange seeing him so emotional about something. Kazama was curious.</p>
<p>“Kiku? Is that a nickname someone gave you?” He nodded and threw a bottle with more force than before.</p>
<p>“Yes, it is. Some girls on the trip said it was cuter than my actual name and started calling me that instead.” Mikami told them to keep moving, and they continued their conversation while bounding around.</p>
<p>“It was so annoying, I don’t like the attention, unlike Utagawa who probably told them to do it.” He smiled and caught up to Kazama and Kikuchihara.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe you should get out of your shell more, get some more friends.” Kikuchihara huffed and bounded away from them. Kazama turned towards Utagawa.</p>
<p>“Did you tell those girls to call him Kiku?” He nervously smiled.</p>
<p>“You could tell?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Kikuchihara doesn’t exactly attract girls. You do though, right?” Utagawa nodded and tilted his head away from Kazama. His face was slightly red. Kazama smiled and bounded up to Kikuchihara again.</p>
<p>“Are you here to ridicule me?”</p>
<p>“No, did anything else happen on your trip?” He was about to open his mouth when a familiar black sphere manifested a couple blocks away. He could see a bamster slam down onto the ground.</p>
<p>“Hold that thought, let’s go.” Kikuchihara was already tying up his hair, and he nodded. With Utagawa following them, the three of them approached the bamster with their chameleon activated. They silently approached it, and Kikuchihara hesitated for a moment, seeing the bamster shift.</p>
<p>“Utagawa, to your left!” He moved to the right and was slammed by the bamster’s tail. It sent him flying into a nearby structure, wood boards falling over him. Kikuchihara snickered and sliced at the bamster’s leg to get its’ attention. When it was turned, Kazama jumped on a roof and lunged at it to deal the blow needed for the bamster to go down. It fell down to the ground, and the pair activated their bagworms again.</p>
<p>Utagawa was blowing wood chips out of his mouth and wiping the dirt off of him when he walked to Kikuchihara. </p>
<p>“That was on my right, not my left!”</p>
<p>“Really? I could’ve sworn it was on your left.” He was staring into the sky, making himself seem oblivious.</p>
<p>“Maybe that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t talk about me behind my back.” He told Utagawa, who huffed and turned away from him.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe if you weren’t so hard to talk to, you would have more friends and I wouldn’t have to help you.” Kikuchihara stuck out his tongue.</p>
<p>“I already have a lot of friends, I don’t need anymore.”</p>
<p>“Really? Name three people other than Kazama, Mikami, and Usami.” Kikuchihara stood silent for a second, his face slowly morphing into anger. He glanced over to Utagawa, who smiled in confidence.</p>
<p>“I talk to Mikumo. That’s one person.” Kikuchihara exclaimed.</p>
<p>“All right, two more.” Utagawa said. Kikuchihara closed his eyes to think. The two could see his eyebrows starting to twitch.</p>
<p>“Whoever you’re thinking must not be a friend if you don’t have their name off the top of your head.”</p>
<p>“Well, I just have so many friends I can’t choose whose name I want to say!” What a typical response. The two kids turned their backs on each other and walked to the opposite ends of the forbidden zone. Kazama sighed and he could hear Mikami giggling through his earpiece.</p>
<p>“They’ll make up tomorrow.” He checked the time, realizing the sun was well into the sky, and called for them to go back to base. As they hurried back to base, Kazama heard Mikami talking to someone in the operating room.</p>
<p>“Kazama, Murakami is here whenever you get back.” He said thank you to Mikami and bounded ahead of the two kids. When he got through the front doors, he deactivated his trigger and noticed Arafune walking by. He probably should’ve waited for Murakami to talk to him together, but in a spur-of-the-moment decision, he called out to Arafune. He flinched when he heard Kazama’s voice and spun around hesitantly.</p>
<p>“Hey Kazama, what’s up?” His voice was quieter than usual and judging from the headphones around his neck he wasn’t looking to talk to anyone.</p>
<p>“I was just wondering if you wanted to talk? Murakami filled me in on everything that happened. I’m sorry everything played out like that.” He didn’t stop walking away and was looking increasingly annoyed as Kazama talked.</p>
<p>“I get you want to help but I don’t want to talk right now.” They got up to his squad’s operating room and as Arafune was opening the door, Kazama shot his hand out to shut it.</p>
<p>“Arafune, look. Murakami is worried about you, and I think you should say something to him.” Kazama gave Arafune his best worried look and Arafune adjusted his hat.</p>
<p>“It was already weird before, but now it’s even more awkward.” Kazama sighed and motioned him to sit down on a bench outside.</p>
<p>“Look, I know it seems like simple advice but you shouldn’t care about what anyone else thinks about you.” Arafune raised his eyebrows and Kazama continued.</p>
<p>“You’ll find out who your actual friends are, and if you don’t stay true to who you are, you will end up repressing yourself. I’ve,” Kazama reflected on his own high school experience for a couple seconds, “… seen it happen before.” Arafune shrunk back from the older man.</p>
<p>“Geez, that was kind of brutal.”</p>
<p>“I’m just saying what you need to hear. And you need to tell Murakami what you’re feeling; you also need to tell your friends why you didn’t say anything before now.” Kazama texted Murakami to go to Arafune’s operating room, and he got up from the bench. Arafune followed him up.</p>
<p>“If you don’t mind me asking, who were talking about? Repressing themselves, I mean.”</p>
<p>“Oh, myself.” Arafune looked shocked. Kazama had always been so focused on helping the kids, he never told them about his own struggles when he was their age.</p>
<p>“Really? You seem too comfortable to ,” Kazama smiled.</p>
<p>“Well, times were different when I was in high school and I,” out of the corner of his eye, Kazama saw a familiar redhead stride down the hallway, and his throat closed up. He felt his body wanting to run from Kizaki and he eyed the door next to them.</p>
<p>“Let’s talk inside.” He croaked out, and he pushed Arafune through before Kizaki could notice them. Arafune however noticed Kizaki and hopped on the question train the moment the door closed.</p>
<p>“So, you’re also avoiding your boyfriend?” Referring to Kizaki as his boyfriend made Kazama sweat more than he was comfortable with. He shed his jacket and threw it on a chair nearby. It was Arafune’s turn now to raise an eyebrow at Kazama, how the tables have turned.</p>
<p>“Whenever I see Kizaki I feel sick. Not like the usual butterflies, I mean I throw-up when he gets too close.” Arafune’s face morphed into pity, and they sat down at the table.</p>
<p>“How long has this been happening?” Arafune asked.</p>
<p>“Ever since he uh,” Kazama chewed on his lips, he didn’t enjoy saying these things out loud. “ever since we, uh, kissed.” He avoided eye contact with Arafune and he realized his leg was bouncing underneath the table. Man, he needed a cigarette.</p>
<p>“Maybe you’re afraid of what will happen next.” He said. Kazama shook his head instinctively, but he had a point.</p>
<p>“We made dinner last night and when he put his hand on my waist, I had to go throw up in the bathroom.” Kazama scoffed, “It was pathetic.”</p>
<p>“You’re so harsh on yourself. Maybe tell him to ease it on the physical stuff?” Kazama still kept his focus trained away from Arafune, but glanced up at that suggestion. Arafune adjusted himself in the seat to talk again.</p>
<p>“Haven’t you said before you like him for a while?” Kazama nodded, he’s mentioned it to him and Murakami a few times. “It’s probably shock. You couldn’t do anything to Kizaki before, but now that you can your body is coping in weird ways.”</p>
<p>Kazama thought for a moment. It made sense, weirdly.</p>
<p>“It might feel better if you started anything physical instead of him. It’s worth a try.” Kazama nodded and sighed.</p>
<p>“I should help you out, not the other way around.” Arafune laughed.  </p>
<p>“It’s all right to talk about what you’re feeling, isn’t that what you tell Murakami and I all the time?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess I’m a hypocrite.” They both laughed and there was a knock at the door that made the pair jump. Arafune looked at Kazama with fear.</p>
<p>“Who is that?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Murakami.” Kazama said. Arafune’s eyes grew wide and when he got up to hide, Kazama held him in place with a death-grip.</p>
<p>“Oh no, you aren’t going anywhere. Don’t think I didn’t forget why I came here.” He gulped and adjusted his hat. He opened the door and Murakami smiled nervously to see Arafune. This was Kazama’s time to scurry away and out the door. He went past Murakami and threw a smile towards Arafune, who did the same back. Making his way through the hallways, his mind found its way back to his conversation with Arafune.</p>
<p>He had felt nauseous that very morning from whatever sickness was plaguing him. Maybe it was just his body adjusting to the shift. He honestly hoped that was all it was.</p>
<p>After that Kazama wondered the halls of Headquarters, not knowing what to do next. He had seen Kizaki earlier and debated talking with him, but he also had paperwork he had to do. That sounded boring though compared to the eventful morning he had. Then, an idea popped into his head. He had seen the rank booths open and some A-ranks huddled in groups watching people fight on the screen.</p>
<p>He walked towards the rank booth and saw there were plenty of other agents around, despite being early in the morning. He noticed Kako in the corner talking to her squad mates, and the idiot trio, Yoneya, Midorikawa, and Izumi yelling about the featured match on the screen. When Kako noticed him, she slowly sunk away and looking up, Kazama saw Kizaki having a match with Tachikawa.</p>
<p>At first, Kazama thought Kizaki was just getting some practice in with a different opponent, but as he got closer to the screen, he noticed the pure rage on Kizaki’s face and pure terror plastered onto Tachikawa’s. He noticed the stares from the three kids drilling into his head and he turned towards them hiding behind each other.</p>
<p>“Do you know why they’re fighting?” The three of them shrugged, and he joined them to watch the match.</p>
<p>“We were talking with Tachikawa and Kizaki asked to talk to him. Then after a couple minutes we heard the two argue and storm over to the rank booths.” Izumi explained. The other two nodded with him and they turned to the screen again, noticing the score shift towards Tachikawa’s favor.</p>
<p>“How long has this been going on for?” Kazama asked. They all winced seeing Tachikawa get sent flying from a punch to the stomach.</p>
<p>“Around half an hour.” Yoneya chimed, “You can still see the steam rising off their heads.”</p>
<p>“They’re not using any technique; they’re just hitting each other really hard.” Midorikawa pointed out. Then the three glanced at each other and donned their best Cheshire Cat impressions, turning towards Kazama.</p>
<p>“So, do you know why they might be fighting?” Izumi asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, we’ve noticed some tension lately from you three.” Midorikawa said.</p>
<p>“Is there something going on between you three?” Yoneya asked, causing them to lean towards him. Kazama scowled for a second, with each passing day they were turning into Kako and Tachikawa. It was getting scary how much they dug for drama now, but this time he had nothing to hide.</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” Kazama plainly said. The three panned over to a nearby couch. Kuga popped up over the cushions and shook his head.</p>
<p>“Nope. He’s not lying.” The three slumped.</p>
<p>“Damn, I wanted to hear some drama.” Yoneya said. Izumi sighed.</p>
<p>“Man, Tachikawa has been acting weird lately, I wanted you to tell us something at least.” Kazama raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“How has he been acting weird?” He asked the trio.</p>
<p>“He keeps sneaking off, looking at his phone more than usual, and when I ask him where he’s going, he gets flustered and says ‘nowhere’. But obviously that isn’t true.” Izumi explained.</p>
<p>“We honestly thought he was going over to your operator’s room but when we asked Kiku he said Tachikawa hadn’t been over.” Kazama laughed in his head hearing them say Kikuchihara’s new nickname seriously.</p>
<p>“We’ve also been seeing him hang out with Jin more often, but that’s probably just because they can spar again.” Midorikawa pointed out. They were trying to figure out Tachikawa’s weird behavior, but they were missing one crucial detail.</p>
<p>“Oh, I know where you three are wrong.” Their ears perked up and turned towards Kazama, “Do you three remember that rumor that went around about Tachikawa and Jin a couple weeks ago? The one about them two dating?” The three of them nodded, and Kazama pinched the bridge of his nose. He was handing them the answer on a silver platter and they still weren’t getting it.</p>
<p>“It’s true. They’re dating.” They blinked a couple times and turned towards Kuga on the couch again. He popped up and nodded.</p>
<p>“He’s telling the truth.” They shifted toward Kazama again, and they scrambled over Kazama with questions. Then they all stopped when they heard two voices behind them.</p>
<p>“What are you three doing?” It was a deep voice, one that was making Kazama’s heart beat out of his chest. He turned to see Kizaki walking towards the group, Tachikawa hiding behind Kizaki, noticing Kazama.</p>
<p>“Did you win Tachikawa?” Izumi asked.</p>
<p>“It was a straight tie. 50-50.” Kazama threw up an eyebrow towards Kizaki who nodded. He still had a slight scowl across his face, but other than that Kizaki looked good like always. His outfits always fit him well, and today was no different with his plain outfit highlighting his assets.</p>
<p>Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tachikawa gradually shift away from them, but the idiot trio grabbed him and dragged him towards the cafeteria. Kazama subconsciously walked with them, making small-talk with Kizaki along the way. The three kids slammed him into a chair and although they were forthright with their questions he was swatting them away like flies. Seeing the trio running out of ways to ask the same question, Kazama sighed and turned towards Kizaki.</p>
<p>“So, can I ask why you were fighting with Tachikawa?” Kizaki shifted awkwardly in his seat, and kept glancing at Tachikawa. It seemed like he couldn’t keep his eyes on Kazama for long without having to dart away to a chair or the ceiling. Kazama snapped his fingers in front of Kizaki’s eyes.</p>
<p>“You’re just making yourself look more suspicious.” He said to the red-head.</p>
<p>“I know but it’s kind of… not something I should say out loud.” Kazama rolled his eyes, and tapped on his ears. Kizaki leaned in and for a split second Kazama had regretted telling him to whisper to him. He always had a cologne that made his mind do loops and feeling Kizaki’s breath of his earlobe made him want to scream for mercy. His poor heart was on overdrive, his stomach was doing backflips, and his conversation with Arafune flashed in his mind.</p>
<p>Kazama closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths through his nose while Kizaki spoke to him.</p>
<p>“Jin asked me to give back clothes Tachikawa had left at Tamakoma and when I gave it to him we started talking. Apparently them two fucked, he asked if we had, and he started pestering me after.”</p>
<p>“So you beat the shit out of him?” Kazama asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, I tried to anyway, and it’s none of his business.” He leaned back into his chair and Kazama hoped Kizaki hadn’t noticed how panicky he had got for a split second. He wasn’t surprised Tachikawa was trying to get into his business. Tachikawa was a drama-addict; Kazama had been his source and when that was cut off he was trying to get information through someone else. Unfortunately for him, he had poked the beast too many times.</p>
<p>Kazama’s eyes shifted to lock with Tachikawa’s. He sunk into his chair and Kazama could see the sweat rolling down his face in fear.</p>
<p>“Two weeks,” Tachikawa was about to speak when Kazama interrupted him.</p>
<p>“Starting now, you give me two more weeks of peace.” He was about to complain again when Kazama shot him a glare that shut him up. The three kids kept looking around the table, wondering why they were left out of the conversation.</p>
<p>“Mr. Kazama?” Midorikawa was looking at him with puppy eyes, hoping him to spare him some information, but Kazama wasn’t about to air his laundry to a bunch of kids.</p>
<p>“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Tachikawa and Kizaki nodded along. The three kids, dejected, got up and left. They wanted anyone of the older agents to pity them, but the three still sitting at the table knew that wouldn’t happen. Kazama and Kizaki weren’t assholish enough to talk about Jin behind his back and Tachikawa was afraid Kazama would kill him if he spoke up.</p>
<p>Shakily Tachikawa stood up.</p>
<p>“You two are a scary power couple, you know that?” He said before walking off towards his operator’s room.</p>
<p>Kizaki took a deep breath, and Kazama leaned his head back against the back of the chair.</p>
<p>“So, good morning.” Kizaki said.</p>
<p>“Good morning to you too. How long did you sleep in for?” He tapped on the table, trying to remember his morning.</p>
<p>“I think around 9. I was trying to wake up when I heard you walking around but I couldn’t wake up.” Kizaki smiled to himself, “I didn’t realize you were waking up that early, I thought you meant 8, not 6.” Kazama closed his eyes.</p>
<p>“Usually I don’t wake up that early but I didn’t sleep well so, I woke up early.” Kizaki looked sad for a second.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you sleep well?”</p>
<p>“I just didn’t. I usually don’t” Kizaki hummed.</p>
<p>“Is it because I was sleeping at your place?” Kazama shook his head, but Kizaki saw through his lie instantly.</p>
<p>“Anyway, I was wondering if I could stay over again?” Kazama gulped, he didn’t know how much more Kizaki he could handle. His home was kind of his haven, a place of peace. Kizaki was peaceful, but the thought of being alone was a big one.</p>
<p>“Of course you can stay over. I won’t stop you.” Kazama stood up, and Kizaki followed him.</p>
<p>“So when would you want to go back to your place?” Kazama pushed in his chair and turned towards Kizaki.</p>
<p>“In a couple hours, I have schoolwork to do. What are you going to do until then?”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure, did you want to cook something tonight?” Kizaki asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, I was just going to order takeout.” Kizaki scowled.</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll make you food, anyway. What do you want?” Kazama sighed and started walking down the hallway towards his operator’s room. Moving down the hallway, he tried to think of what to eat but got distracted every time the pair brushed against each other. When they got to his door, he cleared his throat to answer Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Whatever you want. If I had to choose, I would want something simple.” Kizaki nodded and moved in to give Kazama a hug. It was light, Kizaki barely rested his hands on Kazama’s back for a second, before pulling away.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you soon.” Kazama said.</p>
<p>“You too.” Kizaki said back. Kazama went back inside the operator’s room and the only person around was Mikami. She was eating at the table and when she saw Kazama, went to gather up her things to move to her table.</p>
<p>“You don’t need to move, I won’t bother you.” She smiled and continued eating her sandwich. She was shifting through her phone and Kazama noticed her glancing towards him every so often. She crumbled up the wrapper and cleared her throat.</p>
<p>“Mr. Kazama?”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“Will Kizaki be coming by more often?”</p>
<p>“Yes, why do you ask?”</p>
<p>“I just noticed you seem happier when he’s around. And he helps me carry some of my stuff when I ask him.” Kazama hummed in his throat and brought out his laptop. He grinned.</p>
<p>“I’m glad he helps you around. I would chew him out if he didn’t.” Mikami giggled and moved to her table in the back of the room. Kazama grabbed himself some water from the fridge and cracked his knuckles to get to work. He tapped against the keys, a satisfying click following each press. It made working on boring assignments more bearable. What also made things more bearable were the large number of people visiting today.</p>
<p>At first, it was just other operators talking to Mikami, but then a string of bored agents starting with Suwa and Tsutsumi came in looking to talk. They came and went pretty quickly seeing Kazama working, and the same thing happened with Miwa. Surprising Kako came in to talk but the look on her face screamed ‘Tachikawa asked me to do this’. She didn’t talk long before she was too unsettled to continue and fled using a conveniently timed phone call.</p>
<p>After that, it wasn’t long before Kizaki came back with snacks and an idea of what to eat for dinner. He slid into the seat next to Kazama, pulling out his own laptop to work on.  </p>
<p>With Mikami and her friends in the back, Kazama scooted away every time Kizaki tried to get closer to him. Kazama sent him a slight glare, so Kizaki resorted to wrapping Kazama’s leg within his own.</p>
<p>“So, what are you making me for dinner?” He smiled and tried scooting closer to Kazama.</p>
<p>“I’ll make some Udon for you. You said you wanted something simple, and that’s as plain as it gets.” Kazama nodded and continued to type on his laptop. He was having trouble keeping up with the pace he set for himself because his mind kept wandering over to Kizaki. Under the table he could feel Kizaki shift and his muscles contract in response. Kizaki’s fingers glided across his own laptop flawlessly. It looked like he had no problem focusing on his work.</p>
<p>After half an hour, Mikami and the other operators said they were going to a meeting and told the pair goodbye. One of them winked at Kazama and he died a little on the inside. The moment the girls left, and the door locked behind them, Kizaki seemed all over him. His arms wrapped around Kazama’s waist, his head was against his chest, and Kazama tried to focus on his breathing. But the more he breathed, the more Kizaki seemed to suck the air back out of him. He could feel his face drain of color and when Kizaki leaned up to his kiss his neck, he clamped his hand over his mouth.</p>
<p>“Can we take things slower?” He studied Kizaki’s face, whose eyes widened. Kazama immediately felt guilty. Kizaki was just trying to be affectionate, but if he didn’t stop, he was afraid his breakfast would end up all over him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course. Am I doing something wrong?” Sheepishly, Kazama scratched the back of his neck.</p>
<p>“You’re not doing anything wrong per se, it’s just a lot to take in.” He backed off Kazama but still looked worried.</p>
<p>“Is that why you threw up the other night? Because I got too overbearing?” Kazama didn’t say anything and that was all the confirmation Kizaki needed.  </p>
<p>“Shit, I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine. I didn’t tell you.”</p>
<p>“But I should’ve known from how you were acting.”</p>
<p>“Kizaki look,” Kazama framed Kizaki’s face and made Kizaki look into his eyes. “It’s just a little overwhelming right now. I know it seems weird that I’m the one wanting to slow down, but keep in mind I’ve only been looking at you for years.” Kazama slipped his hands off Kizaki’s face.</p>
<p>“I’ve never been able to touch you before now.” Kazama ended his explanation with a vast sigh. Kizaki took one scoot away and fiddled with his hands.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Kazama shook his head.</p>
<p>“Stop apologizing, you’re acting like this is your fault. It’s not.” Kizaki’s lips thinned. He looked like a kid being scolded, and the cuteness made Kazama’s heart flutter.</p>
<p>“I’m about done with my work, if you wanted to go home soon.” Kizaki said after he cleared his throat. Kazama nodded, and they both gathered up their stuff to head out.</p>
<p>When they walked outside the operating room Kazama flinched seeing Kikuchihara and Utagawa sitting on the bench outside. Kikuchihara was wearing headphones, but Kazama saw a noticeable red on his face. Utagawa beside him fiddled with his phone and nudged Kikuchihara when he noticed Kazama.</p>
<p>“Good to see you two aren’t mad at each other anymore.” Kikuchihara crossed his arms and turned away from Utagawa.</p>
<p>“We just didn’t want to interrupt you two.” He said. Kizaki walked out with his bag over his shoulder and Kikuchihara shoved past him into the room. He stuck out his tongue at Kizaki and Utagawa gave him a ‘sorry’ following Kikuchihara inside.</p>
<p>“I have a feeling Kikuchihara doesn’t like me.” Kizaki said. Kazama grinned to himself and ushered Kizaki out into the hallway.</p>
<p>“That’s just how he is. He gets protective.” Kizaki hummed and intentionally bumped into Kazama.</p>
<p>“Do I have some competition?” Kazama pushed back and shook his head.</p>
<p>“No, you don’t have to worry about a 16-year-old, and I’m sure he likes Usami, anyway.” Kizaki raised his eyebrows. He looked surprised.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he has a weird way of showing it.” Kizaki smiled and ruffled Kazama’s hair.</p>
<p>“He gets it from you.” Kazama rolled his eyes, that probably is true. He fixed his hair, but slowly, keeping the feeling of Kizaki’s hand in his mind. In his daze, Kazama almost tripped over himself walking through the hallways.</p>
<p>“Do you know what I’ve noticed?” Kizaki asked Kazama. They were outside already, approaching Kizaki’s car when he asked.</p>
<p>“What have you noticed?” Kazama responded, throwing his bag into the back seat.</p>
<p>“Whenever you enjoy something, you close your eyes.” They got into their seats and Kazama raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Really? I haven’t noticed.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, last night when we were eating you closed your eyes a lot. Even when we went on our date, you closed your eyes.” Kazama smiled, and Kizaki started up the car.</p>
<p>“When you smoke, you almost look like you’ll fall asleep.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that makes sense.” Kizaki smiled.</p>
<p>“That was kind of random to bring up, I just thought it was something cute you do.” Fuck, he tilted away to hide his face from Kizaki. He wanted to retort by telling Kizaki he had noticed him getting bolder with his flirting, but he would have gone up in flames halfway through the sentence.</p>
<p>It wasn’t too long a drive away from his apartment and when they got there Kazama checked to make sure the spare key was still under the welcome mat. It was, and he opened the door inside. Kazama expecting something to be different when he walked inside. He knew Kizaki was here for a couple hours, and he knew Kizaki was tidy, but he still expected at least something off.</p>
<p>“Were you even here this morning?” Kazama asked.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Kizaki put his bag down against the couch.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t even look like you were here last night. Nothing is off.” Kizaki chuckled and walked towards the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Well, I think you will be happy when you see I left my toothbrush in the bathroom.” Kazama shed off his jacket.</p>
<p>“You were expecting to come back here?” He saw Kizaki waver for a second and nod. Kazama smiled and took off his shoes. He saw Kizaki taking out the ingredients he needed for Udon, and Kazama took out a water-bottle for himself.</p>
<p>“I’ll have this ready in 20 minutes. Do you want to watch something while we eat?” Kazama nodded and sat down on the couch to pick out a show. The smells slowly drifted into the living room and Kazama could feel his mouth water. The spices were making his stomach growl and when Kizaki finished, he jumped up towards the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Hope you like it.” Kizaki said, while pouring both of them their bowls. Kazama slurped up his noodles, and he subconsciously closed his eyes to enjoy his meal. When he opened them again, he saw Kizaki smiling at him.</p>
<p>“I see what you mean now.” He told Kizaki, who quietly ate his meal. Kazama admitted to himself that having Kizaki over to make him meals was one of the best things about him staying over.</p>
<p>“Do you ever go out to eat or do you almost cook at home?” He asked Kizaki in between bites.</p>
<p>“The last time I ate out was when we went out on our date.” Kazama hummed and drank the last of his Udon. Feeling tired, the rest of the night he lazed around, Kizaki doing the same. Kizaki had when keeping his distance and Kazama was grateful for the breathing room it allowed him. Even when they got under the covers, Kizaki made sure he wasn’t overwhelming Kazama by sleeping on the edge of the bed.</p>
<p>“Don’t fall off.” He told Kizaki.</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine, I don’t want to bother you.” Kazama sighed and leaned over towards Kizaki. Kizaki flipped over towards Kazama, who planted a kiss on his lips.</p>
<p>“I said take it easy. You don’t have to fall off the bed.” He smiled and rolled towards the center of the bed. Kazama turned off the side-table light and snuggled into the sheets.</p>
<p>“Goodnight.” He told Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Goodnight He mumbled back. For a couple minutes Kazama studied Kizaki’s chest and his rhythmic breathing. His face had relaxed and his eyes flickered under his eyelids. Kazama felt his heart beat harder the more he looked at Kizaki. He was jealous, so incredibly, jealous. This man sleeping next to him was so beautiful it hurt. Kazama closed his eyes and sighed. He knew he shouldn’t be comparing himself to Kizaki, but it was hard when the man was everything he ever wanted.</p>
<p>He tried to shake himself out of his thoughts, but the dead silence had nothing else for him to focus on. He didn’t even want to check his phone because he would hate for Kizaki to wake up. After a few minutes his body went limp and his mind slipped away with it. Throughout the night he felt Kizaki shift around him and when the morning came Kizaki felt farther away than he had ever been before.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Kizaki VI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Near the end of the chapter there is smut, and going forth there will be smut in every chapter. We're almost at the end ya'll, Maybe 2-3 chapters left. I love ya'll stay safe irl &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The weeks that followed Kazama asking him to slow down their physical interactions, has been one of the most excruciatingly slow weeks of his life. It was strange, his schedule hadn’t changed besides waking up and sleeping at Kazama’s place sometimes, but everything seemed to go in slow motion. During his classes he would watch the clock more than he should have been, on his visits to Headquarters he would subconsciously look around for Kazama, and even the days at Tamakoma felt more foreign than he should have been.</p>
<p>His room, for instance, felt colder, more recluse, and he would hate going in if it wasn’t a necessity. It felt even worse at night. It took him forever to fall asleep, constantly tossing and turning, not feeling an inch of tiredness. Not having another person next to him was killing him.</p>
<p>Kazama wasn’t the warmest person in the world, Kizaki sometimes believes he’s cold-blooded, but his heat under blanket made Kizaki fall asleep the moment he hit the pillow. However, he realized a couple days in the opposite was happening to Kazama’s sleep schedule.</p>
<p>He didn’t tell Kazama, but he knew that he really didn’t need to leave his house at 6 in the morning; Suwa had caught him sleeping on a bench at their college one day, and through constant pestering he said Kizaki was the reason he hadn’t been sleeping well. The first thought Kizaki had when hearing that was, ‘wow, I am being a shitty boyfriend aren’t I?’</p>
<p>Some days when he stayed over at Kazama’s, and they sat on the sofa watching movies until the dead of night, he would purposefully fall asleep on the couch so Kazama could get more sleep. On these days Kizaki would wake up hours before him and making breakfast to lure him into the kitchen. It was cute seeing him groggily walk out of his room, his bed-head exactly the same as his normal spikey hair.</p>
<p>It seemed like everything was going well, Kazama was getting more used to Kizaki’s hugs, kisses and Kizaki was getting used to Kazama’s schedule and atmosphere. But there was one thing he couldn’t get out of his mind, one thing that further made him dread sleeping next to Kazama, and that was his dick.</p>
<p>Now, it sounds weird but Kazama being next to him all the time, half of the time being secluded away from anyone else with next to no clothing, was making his dick invade his thoughts more than he would care to admit. Every time he would get a peck on the cheek or the lips his dick would scream at him to do something more. Kizaki always treated his horny side like a different entity and recently it was growing and leeching off his brain.</p>
<p>It seemed like anything Kazama did was overly sexualized; if Kazama was wearing a shirt that showed off his collarbone, Kizaki would get an urge to grab his neck and bite into it. If he was changing, in his own home he should add, he would feel like kissing every inch of his body, and exploring every crevice. Luckily, he had enough restraint to not follow-through, but on one of those days when he slept on the couch, his mind would shift to favor his horny side.</p>
<p>Kizaki had been cooking breakfast in the kitchen, when Kazama had walked in wearing only his boxers.</p>
<p>He nearly dropped the pan he was holding and just after he set it down, Kazama pulled his shirt down to give him a kiss. Kazama licked at his lips to get Kizaki to open his mouth and his tongue passed Kizaki’s own to explore every inch of his mouth. Every time Kizaki tried to push back with his tongue, he would get a taste of minty toothpaste, and Kazama nibbling on his lips to get him to stop resisting.</p>
<p>He would admit, Kazama being dominant had turned him on a lot, and being pushed against the counter by the smaller man made blood flow to his cock seconds into their kiss. Their hips had connected and Kizaki’s face flushed, feeling pressure against his dick. Kazama had reached up to run a hand through his hair, with the other trailing up and down his back. Today, Kazama’s body held an extra spark to it and all his movements combined into overloading Kizaki’s senses.</p>
<p>Their kiss was becoming more and more sloppy until Kazama finally backed off. Kizaki saw him trembling where he stood, saliva connecting their mouths. Kizaki was shaking as well and to cope with his embarrassment he tried to fill the void with words.</p>
<p>“Good morning,” He said through panted breaths. Kizaki felt like a dumbass immediately after speaking, but what else was he supposed to say? Nice job? That was an amazing kiss?</p>
<p>“Good morning.” He said back and walked over to grab his sweatshirt he had left on the couch. Kizaki swallowed the spit that had collected in the back of his mouth and he tried to act like everything was normal. Kazama walked over to the kitchen again and he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Kizaki could hear a deep sigh from him, and he drank half the bottle.</p>
<p>“That took a lot out of me.” Kizaki glanced over to see Kazama rub his eyes, trying to lose the pink in his cheeks. The usual bags under his eyes weren’t present, and he shook his head.</p>
<p>“Are you all right? Do you feel sick at all?” Kazama shook his head and fit the sweatshirt over his head. He then reached up to grab plates out of the cabinet.</p>
<p>“I feel shaky but not much else.” The ceramic plates rattled in his hands as he set them down on the counter. He drank the rest of his water, some droplets rolling down his chin. Kizaki stared, watching Kazama’s adams apple bob up and down. His eyes were closed and Kizaki listened to the deep breaths coming from his nose after every few gulps. The smell of their meals burning on the stove woke him up, and he quickly moved to flip them.</p>
<p>“I can tell you’re not the only one awake.” Kizaki’s back stiffened, and he felt Kazama move to the fridge for a second bottle.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?” He turned towards Kazama who cracked open the cap and met his gaze. His eyes burned harshly under the fluorescent lights and he shifted down to Kizaki’s boner, then back again to his eyes. He felt himself sweat under their locked eyes and even more so from Kazama calling him out.</p>
<p>“I’m flattered, you shouldn’t feel bad.” Kizaki nervously laughed. He adjusted himself to make his boner less noticeable, but it just made himself more uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well getting a boner just from a kiss is a little embarrassing.” Kazama got himself a glass with ice and poured the water into it.</p>
<p>“Just don’t worry about it. You get too self-conscious.” He swung his head back to gulp down some water and Kizaki set up the table for them.</p>
<p>“It’s your fault. You’re starving me.” Kizaki said sarcastically. Kazama chuckled through his drink.</p>
<p>“Try a couple years. It would kill you if you tried.” Something about that line stuck with Kizaki for a couple days. He knew Kazama was referring to himself, and he knew through the grapevine that Kazama had liked him for a couple years. What he didn’t know was the extent of it. Was it just a harmless crush? Was it worse than that?</p>
<p>He decided he wanted some answers, but asking Kazama himself would make him explode so he brought it up with Suwa the next time he saw the blonde.</p>
<p>“So, how long did Kazama like me before we started going out?” They were outside, Suwa was smoking a cigarette and Kizaki stood to his side, the wind blowing smoke into his face.</p>
<p>“Ah, I heard from Kako it started when he was still in that prep school, so…” He counted on his fingers and Kizaki finished his thoughts.</p>
<p>“4 years?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s about right. Geez,” He shook his head and flicked the cigarette on the ground, “I would go insane if I had to wait that long for someone.”</p>
<p>Kizaki pouted and moved on towards Kako the next day. They met up at Headquarters after the monthly captains meeting, and they sat down to chat.</p>
<p>“So I wanted to talk, but why is he here.” He pointed towards Tachikawa, who munched on a bag of rice crackers.</p>
<p>“Ignore him, what did you want to ask me?” Kizaki glanced at Tachikawa then back to Kako. He sighed and licked his lips.</p>
<p>“How long did Kazama like me before we started going out?” Her lips curled up like a cat’s and she put a hand against her face.</p>
<p>“Oho? Why do you want to know that?”</p>
<p>“I just want to know. We started talking, and he mentioned it in passing.” Kizaki explained.</p>
<p>“Oh, well, when I talked with him in highschool he was blatant about it.” Both Kizaki and Tachikawa perked up at that.</p>
<p>“R-really?” Tachikawa asked. She nodded.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he talked about you a lot, of course he didn’t know much about you, but he thought you were hot. He would even ask his brother about you.” Tachikawa smiled and Kizaki hide his face in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Damn that’s cute.” Tachikawa muttered.</p>
<p>“So, what happened when he graduated?” Kizaki asked.</p>
<p>“Well, really it kind of changed when Shin died. He became more reserved, and he just watched. Whenever I asked, he would just tell me he got over you, but I know he was hurting on the inside.” Kizaki leaned back in his chair. Kako scoot her chair closer and leaned in to whisper to Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Don’t tell Kazama I told you this, but sometimes whenever he got super drunk he would talk about you. It hasn’t happened recently, but it’s got bad a couple times.” Kako leaned back again and Tachikawa looked at them, puzzled. They waved him off and Kizaki stood up; he had one last person to question.</p>
<p>He stepped inside the Tamakoma branch that night and it surprised him not seeing everyone crowded around the dinner table. The lights were dim and only the room to Rindou’s office was fully lit. He knocked on the door and entered. Rindou was sitting in his chair tapping away at his computer. He smiled when Kizaki walked in and beckoned him to sit down across from him.</p>
<p>“What’s up, Reiji? Still sleeping at Soya’s place?” Kazama’s name coming out of Rindou’s mouth sounded familiar on his lips. It was strange hearing his given name, Kizaki couldn’t recall anyone else saying it, but then again Kazama didn’t seem to have many people who could call him that.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I am.” He nodded and started organizing the papers on his desk to the side.</p>
<p>“So, what’s been happening with you?” Kizaki sighed. Sometimes it seemed like instead of the two of them chatting like friends, Rindou was interrogating him for answers. This was one of those times where Kizaki just wanted to ask one question and ended up staying for an hour talking about stuff he didn’t want to talk about.</p>
<p>“Not much, I actually just wanted to ask you one question about Kazama.” He saw Rindou’s eyebrows peek over his glasses, and he leaned forward.</p>
<p>“It’s been a while since we’ve chatted but ask away.” Kizaki took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“It seems weird to ask, but how long did Kazama like me before we started going out?” Rindou tapped on the table and clicked his tongue.</p>
<p>“I think it was a kind of love at first sight kind of thing, but one-sided, obviously.” Kizaki nodded and Rindou cleared his throat to talk again.</p>
<p>“After Shin… passed away, I could tell he was more reserved about his feelings, in general he was more reserved. I’m assuming here, but I think he didn’t want to say anything in fear that something would happen to you like Shin.” Kizaki sighed. He fiddled with his fingers and kept his eyes focused on them.</p>
<p>“Have you ever been lovesick before?” He asked Rindou.</p>
<p>“Yes, it’s hard when you can’t get over someone and even worse when you get closer to them.”</p>
<p>“Is that how Kazama felt for all those years?” Rindou simply nodded and puffed a breath out his nose.</p>
<p>“But you shouldn’t feel bad, he’s strong, he probably got used to it and now everything is better right?” Kizaki slightly nodded, and he leaned back in the chair. Rindou mimicked him and they both sat still for a while.</p>
<p>“I can tell you asked some other people about this, can I ask who?”</p>
<p>“Suwa and Kako. They told me about the same stuff.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sorry I couldn’t tell you much.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>It was late, but he still wanted to make his way back towards Kazama’s place. He said thank you to Rindou and on the way out he saw Jin on the couch, who gave him a wave when he saw Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Yo, Reiji! Heading off to Kazama’s place?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I am.”</p>
<p>“Y’know, maybe in the next couple of days you could talk with Yuri. She’s seemed down.” His tone shifted slightly. Over the years of knowing Jin, he’s found that his voice lowering is a cue something important is about to happen. Whether good or bad he couldn’t tell, but he noted it in his head and made his way over to Kazama’s place.</p>
<p>He let himself in with the key now comfortably on his key chain and he set his bag down next to the door. The only light on was the bedroom light, the rest of the apartment only lit with the moonlight.</p>
<p>“Hey, Kazama,” He asked into the darkness. He heard a reply from the bedroom and saw Kazama curled up in bed, a book between his hands.</p>
<p>“I haven’t seen you all day, how have you been?” Kizaki asked him, taking off his shirt. He saw Kazama’s eyes glance up from the pages and he gulped before speaking.</p>
<p>“Fine, I heard you talked with Kako about me.” Kizaki mentally facepalmed and he took off his pants, leaving him in his boxers.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it was harmless.”</p>
<p>“Asking about when I started to like you?” Kizaki nodded.</p>
<p>“That is harmless, right?” He grinned.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’m just giving you a hard time.” Kizaki smiled and all the exhaustion from the day crashed onto his shoulders. He got into bed besides Kazama and studied his face from the pillow he rests his head on.</p>
<p>“Who told you we talked?”</p>
<p>“Tachikawa.”</p>
<p>“Ah, that makes sense.” They stayed in silence for a couple minutes, the light was too bright for Kizaki to fall asleep, and the sound of pages turning were nice to hear. Kazama shifted to place a bookmark in between the pages and he turned towards Kizaki.</p>
<p>“So, aren’t you going to ask me when everything started?” Kizaki peeked up from the pillow to see Kazama looking at him. He reached over to turn off the light and sunk down to his pillow. The moon reflected off his face, highlighting the skin on his cheek. His eyes, usually bright red, shone with elegance as he waited for Kizaki to say anything. Kizaki shifted towards him and wrapped Kazama in a hug under the sheets. He buried his face in Kazama’s chest and neck.</p>
<p>“If you won’t ask me, I’ll just ask you the same question. Did you ever like me before we started going out?” Kizaki groaned and wrapped his legs around Kazama’s.</p>
<p>He got right up to Kazama’s ear and took a breath.</p>
<p>“That night when you were sleep deprived, and asked me to take you home, you almost kissed me. I think that started everything.”</p>
<p>“So, at that point, did you like me before that?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think so, anyway. You were a good friend who I hung out with.” Kizaki paused.</p>
<p>“Is this position alright?” Kizaki asked, he had just noticed they were intertwined under the bedsheets.</p>
<p>“Yes, this is fine.” He shifted slightly under Kizaki who loosened his grip slightly.</p>
<p>“Good, I was just making sure.” Kazama took a heavy breath and leaned in towards Kizaki.</p>
<p>“I think looking back I saw those moments where you looked at me more than a friend, but I just ignored them. I was too focused on Yuri, but that never even happened.” Kazama sighed and wrapped his arms around Kizaki’s head.</p>
<p>“How did Yuri make you feel?”</p>
<p>“I think I knew I didn’t have a chance from the start. When I saw her I would get butterflies, feel sparks if we accidently touched other, stereotypical ways to tell you like someone.” Kazama chuckled.</p>
<p>“How I felt with you was a little different. I kept trying to convince myself that maybe I had a chance, so it just grew worse and worse.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you say anything before then?”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you say anything to Yuri?”</p>
<p>“Fair point. But why me?” He pulled Kizaki in closer.</p>
<p>“Well, I thought you were handsome the moment I saw you, I heard from Rindou you were smart and kind and made a killer curry, and I just liked everything about you.” He took off his arms and moved to take Kizaki’s hands within his own. He ran his fingers over the knuckles and studied the veins on the back of his hands.</p>
<p>“I like that your hands are rough and manly. I never liked my hands, they’re too soft.”</p>
<p>“I like your hands.” Kizaki could see his eyes droop and he smiled.</p>
<p>“I hate that I get sick. I can feel it going away, but it’ll pop up now and again to torture me some more.” Kazama let go of Kizaki’s hands and rolled out of his legs to bury his face in his pillow.</p>
<p>“Geez, you’re a heater. I’m burning up right now.”</p>
<p>“Well, you’re a freezer and so is your apartment. I don’t understand how you can sleep here every day.”</p>
<p>“You don’t seem to complain, and you stay over most days.” Kizaki frowned and Kazama grinned, knowing he was right.</p>
<p>“Fine, you win. Good night, I’m tired.” Kazama chuckled and said good night to him. With that, he closed his eyes and drifted asleep.</p>
<p>The next few days went by with nothing notable happening. He would wake up, go to his classes or Tamakoma, and do whatever else he had planned for the day. One weekday afternoon, he had to run a couple errands for Rindou at Headquarters. He had some extra time after that and walked over to the rank booths. There were plenty of agents scattered around, some waving at him when he walked by.</p>
<p>He noticed Kako and Kazama on a bench talking and walked up to them casually.</p>
<p>“Ah, Kizaki! Don’t see you around here often.” Kako smiled at him. She had some papers in her hands, Kazama sharing some of them in his hands.</p>
<p>“What are you two doing?”</p>
<p>“Boring paperwork. We were in Kako’s room but got bored, so we moved out here.” Kizaki eyed the high schoolers around them and nodded.</p>
<p>“We’re almost done if you wanted to get a bite to eat.” Kazama said, not looking up from their papers.</p>
<p>“Oh, sure, I was going to Tamakoma after this if you wanted to come with me.” He nodded and Kako nudged Kazama to go. He protested at first, but she shoved him off the bench towards Kizaki.</p>
<p>“You’ve helped me enough, have fun.” She gave them a wink and gathered her papers up. The pair standing up walked through the rank war lounge and Kazama next to him cleared his throat when they got to the center of the lounge.</p>
<p>“Kizaki.”</p>
<p>“Yes?” Kazama reached up towards Kizaki’s collar and pulled him down into a kiss. It was quick but still surprised Kizaki, anyway. He looked around and Kazama walked ahead of him towards the parking lot.</p>
<p>“That happened, right?” He asked Kazama, who glanced back at him.</p>
<p>“Yes, don’t make a big deal about it.” He glanced over to the side to see Arafune and Murakami peeking up over a couch and duck away once they locked eyes with Kizaki. Kizaki smiled.</p>
<p>“Did they put you up to this?” He shook his head.</p>
<p>“Kind of, we made a deal that if I kissed you in public, they would do the same.” Kizaki looked at him, puzzled.</p>
<p>“So that was a bet?” Kazama stopped in his tracks and turned around towards Kizaki. He reached up to frame Kizaki’s face between his hands and he leaned up. Kizaki tilted his head down to meet him and they spent a few moments to themselves. Kizaki could feel Kazama hum in his throat and they broke to see Izumi and Yoneya staring at them.</p>
<p>“What’s up?” Kazama asked. They just smiled and walked off snickering to themselves.</p>
<p>“All the kids around here are weirdos.” Kizaki nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>“Weirdos attract weirdos.” Kazama smiled, and they walked off together.</p>
<p>“Does this mean you feel more comfortable now?” Kizaki asked. Kazama nodded slightly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s not as bad now.” He ran a hand through his hair and shed the coat he was wearing. A sigh came out his mouth.</p>
<p>“I haven’t been over to Tamakoma in a while, has anything changed?” Kizaki shook his head. He was still in awe at how fast Kazama was getting used to everything now that he was giving him space. Kazama snapped his fingers in front of Kizaki’s eyes.</p>
<p>“You seem out of it.”</p>
<p>“I’m just surprised how at how comfortable you’re getting in so little time.” Kazama hummed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m feeling like that too.” A slight smile went across his face. “I’m excited to go to Tamakoma again, I haven’t talked to Usami in a bit.”</p>
<p>His eyes lit for a sec and he tapped on Kizaki.</p>
<p>“Hey, what ever happened to Yuri?” Kizaki felt his heart skip a beat. Shit. Yuri was guaranteed to be at Tamakoma. He gulped and Kazama scanned his face.</p>
<p>“Did something happen to her?” He shook his head, but Kizaki could never keep something a secret from Kazama for long. He was always too obvious when something was bothering him, well, obvious by Kazama’s standards.</p>
<p>“She’s fine, things have just been a bit awkward between us.”</p>
<p>“I would imagine. She never really liked me, did she? And now since we’re dating, she must like me even less.” Kizaki turned away from Kazama, who threw up an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“You did tell her we were going out, right?” Kizaki didn’t say anything, the pit in his stomach growing. He could feel his palms start to sweat from the pressure and he strained himself to look at Kazama</p>
<p>“Kizaki.” He sounded disappointed, and honestly, he should be. He had been procrastinating telling her for weeks now, and he didn’t want to make her more upset than he had before. But now that the two of them were going to Tamakoma, he was nervous thinking about what might happen.</p>
<p>“I may have forgotten to tell her.” Kazama took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p>“Well, if you aren’t going to tell her I will.” Kizaki shot his hand out to grab his arm. That was a situation he wanted to avoid.</p>
<p>“No, I’ll do it.” He blinked and took back his arm.</p>
<p>“Fine, but if she asks, I’ll say something.” Kizaki nodded and the two head over to Tamakoma. Usami and Jin greeted them in the living room and the four of them chat at the table. Karasuma and Konami joined them after a couple minutes with Youtarou in tow.</p>
<p>They spent a couple hours talking, Kizaki occasionally glancing over to Kazama to see him smiling. Kizaki would always smile back, and under the table he would keep his hand on Kazama’s thigh while they talked. Luckily, it didn’t seem like Kazama was freaked out; he looked relaxed, Kizaki would even say borderline happy.</p>
<p>Kizaki and Usami started to make dinner, everyone else crowding the living room that was eventually joined by the Tamakoma-2 kids. Rindou poked his head out of his office every once in a while to check in, and the only people missing were Cronin and Yuri. Rindou told Kizaki Cronin had gone back to “Canada”, and Yuri wouldn’t be having dinner with them tonight.</p>
<p>Kizaki wanted to ask why Yuri wasn’t around, but before he could ask Jin drew him into a conversation and they left with a wink from Jin. What was he up to?</p>
<p>As they were serving food, everyone gathered around the table except for Kazama and Osamu who sat at the couch, still in-depth in their conversation. As Kizaki walked over with their food, Osamu noticed him, bowed to Kazama, and left towards the table.</p>
<p>“What were you two talking about?” He sat down both their plates on the side table and sat next to Kazama. He crossed his arms.</p>
<p>“Tactics. He’s getting bold when asking about those kinds of things. He’ll do anything to gain an edge, I like it.” He took a bite, and washed it down with water. “Did you hear a while back he tried to get Jin onto his squad?”</p>
<p>Kizaki smiled and nodded. He even remembers the conversation Jin and him having after that.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know about that. It’s because you told him to look outside the box.” Kazama dramatically rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“That’s a little too outside the box, but I commend his efforts.” They both took bites at the same time, and melted from the flavor. Kazama’s eyes closed and Kizaki not-so-subtly admired him from across the couch.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re here.” He whispered. Kazama opened his eyes and gulped.</p>
<p>“I’m glad I am too, you’re a good cook.” He shook his head.</p>
<p>“Not just for that, just for being yourself, I guess. I’m just happy to have you here.” He smiled and set down his plate on his lap.</p>
<p>“You know, the Kizaki from a couple months ago wouldn’t have been able to even say that line.” Kizaki rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. He was betting on Kazama not pointing that out so he could look cool for once, but it backfired.</p>
<p>“I’m going up to the roof. Want to come with me?” Kizaki thought for a moment and shook his head.</p>
<p>“No, I need to do the dishes before they get disgusting. I’ll be up there soon.” He walked over to the table to gather up empty dishes. Some pots and pans left on the stove needed to be cleaned, and Usami walked over from the table to help. They were mostly silent, but Usami spoke up a couple minutes in.</p>
<p>“Kazama seems happy. That’s good.” He rinsed off a dish and handed it to Usami.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he hadn’t been over in a while so I was hoping he would be.” Usami held her typical smile, and she pushed up her glasses with a finger.</p>
<p>“You, however, seem a little tense.” He sighed.</p>
<p>“Just a bit.” She dried their dishes and put them back into the cabinets.</p>
<p>“Can I ask why?”</p>
<p>“That depends. Will you tell Jin immediately after?” She scoffed and playfully punched Kizaki in the arm.</p>
<p>“Of course not!” He smiled and dried his hands with a towel.</p>
<p>“I’m nervous to talk to Yuri. I haven’t told her about us two, so I’m nervous.” She nodded along with him.</p>
<p>“Well, since Kazama is here, tell her now. What’s the worst thing that can happen?” He gulped. A lot of things could go wrong; Yuri could hate him until the end of time, he could get so nervous he would have a heart attack and die, or a meteor could crash into them and kill everyone. He was probably being paranoid, but anything could happen.</p>
<p>“I’m going up to the roof if you need me.” He said to Usami, who waved him goodbye. Up on the roof he saw Rindou, Jin, and Kazama talking by the railing. They made room for Kizaki, and they continued their conversation. Kizaki had zoned-out and his eyes wandered around the skyline, bored. Occasionally glancing over to whoever was talking, he felt Kazama place a hand by his on the railing.</p>
<p>He intertwined their fingers, and he could feel Jin and Rindou’s eyes shift down towards their hands. Jin smiled and continued to talk while Rindou just noticed it showing no outward feelings. He threw his other arm onto the railing and place his head down. He closed his eyes, focusing on the wind in his face, and Kazama’s fingers between his hands.</p>
<p>“Oh, there she is.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was wondering when she would come home.” Kizaki’s eyes moved under his eyelids and Kazama ruffled his hair. He groaned under the touch and flickered his eyes open, seeing Kazama looking at him.</p>
<p>“Yuri’s here.” He looked over the railing to see Yuri waving up at the group. The two of them locked eyes, and hers got noticeably darker. She moved towards the door and Kizaki got up to meet her inside. Kazama’s hands slipped out of his to rest at his side.</p>
<p>“Go talk to her.” Jin said, Rindou nodding behind him. He nodded and walked inside to see Yuri still in the living room, shedding her coat. Everyone else had retreated to their rooms leaving the pair alone.</p>
<p>“Hey, I need to talk to you.” She nodded and they both sat at the table across from each other. She shifted in her chair and fidgeted with her hands; she wasn’t trying to hide her nervousness.</p>
<p>“So, I’m going out with Kazama.” Her eyes lowered and she nodded her head.</p>
<p>“And I’ve found I didn’t like you as much as I thought I did.” She stared at the table below them, sniffles escaping her nose.</p>
<p>“I know,” She squeaked, “I’ve known for a while now. I wanted you to say it though.” He took her hands within his own.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I never said anything to you before. I want you to know, you have done so much for me and if you ever wanted to talk about anything else, I’m here for you.” She smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. She used his hands to rub her cheek clean and he smiled back.</p>
<p>“Thank you, but I know I wasn’t clear with you either. I just want you to be happy, and I didn’t really know how to do that when you said you didn’t like me anymore.” She shook her head.</p>
<p>“I should say sorry to Kazama too. I had a feeling he liked you from the beginning, and I didn’t treat him well because of it.” Their hands unlocked.</p>
<p>“He’s upstairs if you want to talk with him.” She thought for a moment but softly shook her head.</p>
<p>“I need to think of a way to apologize. It would be disingenuous if I said anything now.” He nodded and she grabbed her things to walk towards her room, leaving Kizaki alone. He buried his head in his hands and slightly groaned. The stairs creaked from the roof, and he looked up to see the trio chuckling.</p>
<p>“You all right, Kizaki?” Jin asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, everything is fine.” He shifted towards Kazama, “You ready to go?”</p>
<p>Kazama nodded.</p>
<p>Kizaki was saying his goodbyes, while Kazama gathered his stuff by the couch.</p>
<p>“I hope you come by more, Kizaki.” Rindou told him when they shook hands.</p>
<p>“See ya.” Jin told him, and both him and Kazama got into his car. They were both tired, Kazama closing his eyes through the car ride, and Kizaki relying on his body to get them to Kazama’s apartment. Next to him, Kazama shifted in his seat. Kizaki mustered up all his strength, and cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“You know you can call me Reiji, right?” Kizaki turned towards him.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Then why don’t you?” He stayed silent, the light from streetlamps shining off his eyes.</p>
<p>“You’ve never asked me to. It’s weird changing up how I say your name after all this time.” He glanced over again to Kazama.</p>
<p>“So, I’ll call you Reiji if you call me Soya.”  For some reason hearing his first name was enough to send his heart exploding in his chest. Kizaki could feel the heat rising to his face and Kazama grinned.</p>
<p>“I missed your face getting red.” He thinned his lips and turned away from Kazama.</p>
<p>“I missed when you didn’t point it out.” He chuckled and took a hearty breath.</p>
<p>“So, it’s all right if I call you Reiji? And you call me Soya?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that sounds good.”</p>
<p>“Then say it, Reiji.” God, his name coming out of Kazama’s mouth sounded so seductive he wanted to drown in it. He snapped back when Kazama cleared his throat and he did the same himself.</p>
<p>“Did you have a good night, Soya?” Kazama smiled and crossed his legs.</p>
<p>“That sounded nice.” Kizaki’s face got brighter, and he felt nervous shifting in his seat.</p>
<p>“Really?” The car halted to a stop, and Kaza- er, Soya walked out towards the door. Reiji followed him and Soya stopped at the door. He turned around towards Reiji and leaned against the door.</p>
<p>“Reiji, I had a wonderful time tonight.” He grinned and put his arms around Reiji’s shoulders. Reiji noticed Soya stood on his toes and couldn’t help himself from wrapping his arms around Soya’s waist. Reiji leaned in towards his neck and lined his nose along Soya’s jawline.</p>
<p>“You’re so handsome.” Soya’s hands stroked his back, and Reiji hugged him even harder.</p>
<p>“How about we get inside? It’s starting to get cold out here.” He turns the key in the lock and they stumble inside towards the bedroom.</p>
<p>Soya’s back hits the bed and Reiji gets on top of him. With his arms wrapped around Soya, he kisses him, and Soya frames his face. Chills go down Reiji’s spine as Soya switches to running his hands through his hair. His legs wrap around Reiji’s waist and he instinctively leans into it. Kazama licks his lips and Kizaki feels himself going lightheaded as he opens his mouth.</p>
<p>He moves one arm from Soya’s back down to his waist and squeezes into the muscle. He hears a groan from Soya’s throat, and he takes the chance to plunge his tongue into Soya’s mouth. He feels Soya gasp and Kizaki bucks his hips towards the other man. The blood rushes towards his cock and he could tell Soya felt it rubbing against his waist. He can feel Soya starting to squirm from underneath him and he leans off Soya.</p>
<p>Soya pants from underneath him, but Reiji doesn’t feel him shaking. He notices Soya’s dick through his sweatpants, and he locks eyes with Soya in the darkness.</p>
<p>“Is this all right?” He wraps his arms around Reiji’s neck and pulls him down.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course.” He feels his heart beating in his chest and he feels a wave of nervousness washing over him. Reiji plants a few kisses along Soya’s neck, and he runs his hand down his thigh. Reiji’s movements feel stiff, almost mechanical, and Soya sees him tense up.   </p>
<p>“We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to.” Kizaki takes a gulp and runs his hands down Soya’s thighs and towards his waist. He stops, staring at Soya’s waistband. He feels himself shaking from the cold and he shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Shit, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s all right. You don’t need to apologize,”</p>
<p>“I still want to do something just not… sex.” It’s gets awkward and Soya starts to laugh.</p>
<p>“You know we can have fun without actually having sex.” He rubs the back of his neck.</p>
<p>“I know, it’s just,” He looks around the room, “I don’t know what to do.” Kazama smiles and pushes his hand against Reiji’s chest until his back hits the headboard behind him. He straddles Reiji and starts to unzip his pants. Reiji moves his eye everywhere except at Soya who pulls down Reiji’s jeans.</p>
<p>“Fuck your big.” Soya whispers, sending a pulse down Reiji. He could already feel his dick leaking precum through his boxers, and he heard himself panting from the touch. Soya squeezes his cock, and a groan escapes his throat. Soya finally takes his cock out and Kazama strokes along his shaft.</p>
<p>“Fuck, how are you so good at this?” He pants out. Holding down his waist, Soya strokes faster, and Reiji’s hips buck into his touch. He feels lightheaded and the surrounding heat makes him feel everything Soya is doing. His fingers dig into his waist, his breath barely hits his cock, and his palm feels cold but invited. He can feel the pressure buildup in himself and he tilts his head back.</p>
<p>“Shit, please.” He whispers out. Soya strokes even faster, and Reiji feels a wave of pleasure as his cum hits his shirt. He glances down to see his cum rolling down his now limp dick and covering Soya’s hand. He gets off Reiji’s waist and throws his shirt off.</p>
<p>“Do you feel better?” He nods and takes off his own shirt.</p>
<p>“What do you want me to do?” He stops for a moment and scans Reiji’s face.</p>
<p>“Oh, right.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean, ‘Oh, right’?” He takes off his sweatpants and throws them on the floor.</p>
<p>“Sorry, it doesn’t usually happen like this.” He crawls up onto the bed again and Reiji gently lays him down on his back. He scans Soya and they lock eyes.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do.” Reiji says. Soya smiles and runs a hand through his hair.</p>
<p>“You do what you want.”</p>
<p>A lightbulb went off in his heads and his palms started sweating.</p>
<p>“What if I gave you a blowjob?” Soya’s eyes widened and his face turned bright red. He turned his head away from Reiji and ran his hands across his face.</p>
<p>“Do you know how to?”</p>
<p>“No, but I’ll try.” He groaned and Reiji positioned himself between Soya’s legs. He lightly ran his hands over Soya’s body and down towards his boxers. His thumbs circle around Soya’s hips and he groans under Reiji.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” He whispers through his teeth. Reiji paws at Soya’s dick and he takes it out of his waistband. He flinches when he hits the cold, and Reiji runs a hand down his shaft. He keeps himself well-groomed, and it makes him feel self-conscious about his own body. He feels hesitant, but ran his tongue down his shaft, anyway.</p>
<p>He feels Soya shudder, and he rolls his tongue around the head of his dick. Soya squirms underneath him. His hips buck slightly towards Reiji and he finally takes Soya into his mouth. A slightly salty taste fills his mouth, and he hears Soya panting above him.</p>
<p>“Shit, this is overwhelming.” Reiji paused and took himself off Soya.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to stop?” He dug one hand into the sheets and the other into the pillow he laid his head on.</p>
<p>“Fuck, no.” His voice sounded deeper, more commanding than it usually was, and it made Reiji immediately put his dick back into his mouth. He bobbed his head up and down, motivated by the moans coming out of Soya’s mouth. He felt the saliva drip down Soya’s cock, and he could feel Soya’s hips buck into him rhythmically. He took a sharp inhale, and he grabbed onto Reiji’s hair.</p>
<p>“I’m about to come.” Reiji kept the motion steady until Soya ripped his head off, and cum dripped down onto his waist. Soya’s chest raised and fell rhythmically, and Reiji fell to the side, watching him.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you were so dominant.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m different when I’m horny.” Reiji laughed and Soya joined in. They both cleaned themselves up and for the rest of the night the two laid in bed cuddling. It wasn’t long before Soya fell asleep next to him.</p>
<p>His skin and hair looked soft compared to his, and he was surprised seeing Soya falling asleep so fast. It was comforting, and he fell asleep knowing he would be right next to him in the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Soya VI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every day this week Soya woke up feeling rested with Reiji sleeping next to him in his bed. A week ago, he would’ve hated this, but since their first sexual adventure he was feeling more open and comfortable around Reiji. Sleeping in the same bed was just a part of his routine now. It was a Saturday, and Soya rolled over in his bed to face Reiji’s sleeping body.</p>
<p>His face buried into his pillow, and his biceps surrounded the pillow. His red hair was scraggly, and his body sprawled over most of the bed. This was typical and Soya slept in a compact ball anyway, so the large man didn’t bother his sleep. In fact, he was finding himself getting worse sleep when Reiji would go back to Tamakoma for a few days. On those nights his sheets, usually covering the space-heater that was Reiji, was colder than the air around Soya, and he slept on top of the sheets.</p>
<p>He reaches over to run a hand through Reiji’s hair and down his back. He hears a moan come from Reiji, and he flips onto his back. Soya smiled. He always messed with Reiji when he was in bed for too long, usually by shocking him awake with his naturally chilling body. But today, he slept in and left Reiji alone to enjoy his sleep in bliss.</p>
<p>It was a Saturday, and they both had nothing to do for the entire day.</p>
<p>The sunlight shot into the room, directly onto their pillows, and Soya got up to make himself breakfast while Reiji flipped himself over again, shielding his eyes from the sleep-depriving rays. He slipped on sweatpants and a tank top, and cat slippers Reiji had gifted him a couple weeks ago. He flicked the kitchen light on and noted its cleanliness. Definitely Reiji’s doing.</p>
<p>In the corner the fridge was stocked full with different foods him and Reiji went out to get the other day and he grabbed some fruit to soothe his stomach. He took a deep breath and started up the coffeemaker, making sure cream and sugar were nearby for Reiji. He nursed on the fruit, watching the pot fill with the black drug.</p>
<p>He leaned his head back to fill his nose with the smell of coffee. It was perfect. This was the perfect start to his day, the first day they both had off in a while, and he intended on doing next to nothing with his time.</p>
<p>Soya heard his bed creaking and a few moments later Reiji walked into the kitchen, stumbling around like he wasn’t even awake yet. He braced his swaying body against the counter and filled himself a mug of coffee. Despite the cream being right next to his fingertips, he didn’t notice it, instead tilting his head back to let the bitter tang fill his throat.</p>
<p>He coughed, the rush of an unfamiliar taste shocking him out of his groggy state. Finally noticing the cream and sugar next to him, Reiji stirred them into his drink, the spoon in his left hand and his right reaching down to scratch at his boxers. Soya smiled and cleared his throat. Reiji turned around, red speckled across his face.</p>
<p>He nervously laughed, and Soya sipped on his drink.</p>
<p>“Good morning.” Soya said.</p>
<p>“Good morning.” Reiji said back, his voice sounding raspy and deep. He set the spoon in the sink, and Reiji gulped down the coffee to wake himself up. He shook himself, blinked dramatically a few times, and cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“How are you doing this morning?” He asks Soya, while pouring himself another cup of coffee.</p>
<p>“Fine, I’m ready to do nothing all day.” Reiji chuckled. In a matter of seconds, the second cup of coffee streamed through his throat and into his stomach.</p>
<p>“Would you want to do anything today?” He asks Reiji, who shrugs.</p>
<p>“If we did nothing that would be fine by me.” He says as he tips the coffeepot towards the mug for the third time. Soya raised his eyebrows; he wasn’t drinking like he was staying inside all day.</p>
<p>Soya peered into his mug and reached past Reiji towards the coffeepot to fill his mug up before Reiji took the last drops. As he watched the concentrated caffeine drip into his mug, Reiji planted a kiss on his head. His hair ruffled slightly, feeling Reiji’s nose gently press against his head. It was a surprise that early in the morning, but a welcome one, nonetheless.</p>
<p>“Your hair smells nice.” Reiji muttered. He set his mug down and ran his hands through Soya’s hair. Twirling his unkempt hair, Soya leaned into the touch with his eyes closed, feeling every graze send a shiver through his body.</p>
<p>A month ago, he never would have thought he would become so comfortable with Reiji being this close to him, even the thought would have sent his stomach flipping like an acrobat, but now this kind of touch was something he needed, something he craved for every day. Whether a kiss on the cheek, or a hug before school or work, he needed that kind of touch before his day truly began.</p>
<p>On the days Reiji spent the day away at Tamakoma, people like Murakami and Tachikawa instantly noticed his depressed demeanor and send him a sympathy look.</p>
<p>For a couple weeks, he hated it.</p>
<p>He hated that his day could be filled with the best news in the world, but without a simple touch it shattered into a million depressing pieces. He hated that he was being so… dependent on someone for happiness. He was happy before Reiji and him started dating- he had plenty of good around him- but now with him being an even bigger part of his life; it was even more heartbreaking when Reiji wasn’t right next to him.</p>
<p>Even with a reasonable explanation, he hated it. The dopamine rush he felt when Reiji ran a hand through his hair or gave him a peck on the lips, was addicting. It was a storm culminating in his body, ready to strike at the slightest contact; it was a trail of gasoline leading towards his oil-soaked heart, with Reiji’s body burning brighter than any match could; it was a drug being pumped into his veins, and Reiji was the only person who could supply it to him.</p>
<p>Reiji stepped away, and he took the euphoria with him. A couple weeks ago, he would have loved the disconnect, the barrier he could put up between them, but now he just wanted it all to himself. The moment he realized that he wanted to depend on Reiji, was the moment his stomach settled, his body calmed, and his heart relaxed.</p>
<p>“Have I ever told you, you’re hot?” Soya asked Reiji, who had moved to the fridge in search of breakfast.</p>
<p>“You’ve told me plenty of times.” He answered. Soya sipped on his coffee.</p>
<p>“Have I ever told you I like your bed-head?” Reiji grabbed a banana and bit into it.</p>
<p>“A couple times.” He said through bites.</p>
<p>“Have I ever told you I like your body?” He chewed slower on the banana, his brain processing the question instead of spewing out an answer like the ones before it. Soya studied Reiji’s face. His eyes darted around, his lips shifted as the cogs turned in his head, and his tongue poked at the inside of his cheek.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’ve heard that one before.” He finally whispered, the silence in the room amplifying his voice to its normal volume. Soya sipped on his coffee again.</p>
<p>“Well, I do.” He turned his head towards Reiji, who kept his gaze forward, away from Soya’s eyes. Reiji was avoiding eye contact with him, but the red on his face told Soya everything he needed to know. He took his mug over towards the living room and sat down on the couch. He flicked on the TV.</p>
<p>Reiji retreated to the bedroom again to put some clothes on, then joined Soya on the sofa. He smiled, seeing the cats covering his feet.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you like the slippers.” He said, setting down his and Soya’s mug on the coffee table in front of them.</p>
<p>“I wear them every day, but you don’t wake up in time to notice me wearing them.” He leaned against Reiji’s shoulder, and Reiji slipped an arm around his waist. They shifted through Soya’s home page, no movies or shows catching their eyes, until Reiji tapped on his thigh to get his attention.</p>
<p>“Scroll up a bit, I saw something interesting.” Soya backtracked a bit until Reiji pointed at a movie on the screen.</p>
<p>“What is that?” Soya pinched his nose as Reiji pointed to a movie. He had heard about this movie being a shitty version of ‘50 Shades of Gray’, with even worse acting and an even worse plotline, but erotica’s didn’t really need to have either of those things, anyway.</p>
<p>“It’s a bad porno.”</p>
<p>“Ah,” He opened his mouth and looked towards Soya with his eyebrows up. Soya’s lips thinned.</p>
<p>“You seriously want to watch this?”</p>
<p>“I mean, not if you don’t want to.” His shifting eyes told a different story than his mouth. He wanted to watch this shitshow. Soya glanced at the clock, it was 10 in the morning, a little early to be watching porn, but they weren’t doing anything anyway, so fuck it. Soya pressed play.</p>
<p>At the beginning of the movie the main character, a conventionally attractive woman, accepts a job offer to be the secretary for her love interest, the savvy businessman who owns a multi-million-dollar company. In the typical fashion of these movies, the businessman is powerful, doesn’t take no for an answer, and is low-key abusive for pushing his sexual fantasies onto the woman.</p>
<p>All throughout the movie, Reiji runs his hands across Soya’s body. During the sex scenes, he was particularly liberal with his movements, running his hands across Soya’s chest, squeezing his thighs, and pushing Soya to press his back against the sofa cushions. Reiji laid himself onto Soya and leaned him, pressing his nose into Soya’s neck.</p>
<p>Despite the awful acting, the movie was getting Reiji excited and in turn, Soya too. He was leaving kisses along Soya’s neck and collarbone, turning into nibbles, then into harsher bites. Reiji’s body grew hotter, and he pressed into Soya, his teeth sinking into his neck.</p>
<p>“Shit,” Soya whispered through his teeth. Reiji groaned in response, and his hips moved against Soya’s. Hearing the sounds of moaning through the TV, he sinks his body into Soya’s even more.</p>
<p>‘Fuck, this is making me horny.” Reiji says into his ear. It sends a chill down his spine and Soya reaches up to toy with Reiji’s hair. But before he can do anything, Reiji grabs his wrists and pins them above his head. Reiji straddles Soya and looks down at him. He has a dumbfounded look on his face, like he doesn’t know what to do next.</p>
<p>“What are you thinking?” Soya asks up to him. He shakes his head and lowers the volume on the TV.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure how to go forward with this.” Soya looks up, puzzled.</p>
<p>“Why? It’s not that different from last time.”</p>
<p>“Well, last time I didn’t want to fuck you as much as I do right now.” Soya blinked, then blinked a couple more times, each movement causing Reiji’s face to flow redder than before.</p>
<p>“Sorry, that was a bit off-beat.” Reiji choked out.</p>
<p>“No, I just wasn’t expecting it.” Soya smiled, and Reiji joined him. They both busted out laughing and Reiji gave him a peck on the lips. He pulled Soya up over his shoulder and walked through the apartment towards the bedroom. He laid Soya down and pinned him on the bed in the same position as they had been on the couch.  </p>
<p>Reiji studied Soya’s body; his mouth watered like he had been starving for days. Soya looked up at him with lust; he licked his lips and chewed on them in anticipation. He too was studying the other, and it made him feel like a toy, something to only fuck with.</p>
<p>“So what are you going to do to me, Reiji?” Soya asked up at him. It was the first time Soya’s voice hit a low seductive tone, and Reiji looked hornier than he had ever been before. But like he had said before, Reiji didn’t know how to proceed and he spoke up to give him some encouragement.</p>
<p>“You should try being more dominate. It suits you.” Soya pointed out. Reiji, being too embarrassed at the moment, froze. Soya sighed.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to walk you through what to do?” Soya internally smiled, seeing Reiji’s face twist in embarrassment. Nodding, Reiji let go of Soya and he reached over to his bedside drawer to grab condoms and lube.  He leaned towards Reiji and glanced at his pant zipper. Placing his hand on Reiji’s chest, Soya lowered him against the bedframe.</p>
<p>“Just relax, I’ll make you feel good.” Soya softly said. He gave Reiji’s dick a squeeze, a groan escaping from his mouth. He pulled down Reiji’s sweatpants, revealing only the thin layer of fabric separating his cock and Soya’s hand. A grin spread across Soya’s face and it spread ear to ear when Soya pulled Reiji’s dick out of his boxers. It wasn’t a lot of touch, but Soya touching Reiji even the slightest bit was enough to send him squirming. Reiji pulled the hem of his shirt into his mouth to stifle his moans, revealing his abs to Soya.</p>
<p>Soya ran his hand over his abs and down towards his thighs. Soya was hungry, and Reiji ran his hand through Soya’s hair. Soya ran his tongue along Reiji’s shaft, pre-cum leaking out of his dick. He circled his tongue around the head of his dick.</p>
<p>“Fuck!” Reiji groaned; Soya had started sucking on his cock. Soya hadn’t realized how sex starved they had been until this moment. Just from a little stimulation, it looked like Reiji would burst at any second. Soya got a steady rhythm, bobbing his head, trying to give Reiji as much pleasure as possible, and it was working. Seeing his head thrown against the bedframe with his mouth hung open was motivating Soya to keep going. Reiji’s hand sat on Soya’s head unmoving and he shut his eyes, focusing on the senses below him.</p>
<p>In the heat of the moment, Soya tried to fit as much of Reiji into his mouth, but it ended up hitting the back of Soya’s throat. He immediately pulled off and started coughing, lifting Reiji from his trance. A thin line of saliva stretched from his mouth.</p>
<p>“Shit, are you okay?” Reiji asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I got a bit ambitious.” He chuckled. He leaned back down when Reiji lifted his head up and crashed his lips against Soya’s. Reiji wouldn’t let Soya finish him, but Soya wanted to see how much Reiji could resist him. He planted a couple more kisses before licking Soya’s lips, asking for entry. Soya parted his mouth and Reiji’s tongue explored the inside of Soya’s mouth. His mouth filled with the taste of sweetened coffee that mixed with the salty tang already in his throat</p>
<p>Soya stroked Reiji’s dick, sending a moan through his throat. He tried to reach down to Soya’s cock that hid in his boxers, but the smaller man grabbed Reiji’s wrist before he could. He shook his head, his mouth still being invaded by Reiji’s tongue. The second time Reiji took his tongue out of Soya’s throat, he capitalized on it and pushed Reiji back.</p>
<p>“Did you think you would stop me from making you come?” Reiji held a shocked expression. It seemed to surprise him that Soya wanted to finish him.</p>
<p>He took Reiji’s cock into his mouth and wrapped his lips around his shaft. He was licking around his shaft, forcefully pining Reiji’s hips into the bed and trapping him into a circle of ecstasy. Reiji was leaking more and more pre-cum as Soya continued the intensity. With one last groan, Reiji ripped off Soya and cum sprayed onto his face and onto his stomach.</p>
<p>“It got on your face.” Reiji pointed out, and Soya wiped his thumb across his face and licked the cum off of it, making eye contact with Reiji.</p>
<p>“How does it taste?” Reiji asked. Soya circled his tongue around in his mouth.</p>
<p>“Salty.” Reiji nodded, catching his breath. By that point Reiji had gone stiff again, ready for round two.</p>
<p>“Have you ever done anal before?” Despite them being passed the embarrassing parts of the relationship, Reiji still got flustered when Soya said anything sexual. He shook his head and Soya passed him the condom. For himself, Soya grabbed the bottle of lube and finally pulled down his boxers. Reiji stopped taking the condom out to admire him, slack-jawed.</p>
<p>“Take off your shirt.” Soya also stopped in his tracks. He looked up at Reiji, surprised.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I want to see the rest of you.” He thought for a moment before setting the bottle aside.</p>
<p>“You too. You look like you’re getting ready to leave seeing all the layers you have on.” Reiji looked down and realized he had all his clothes still on, the only thing off being his sweatpants around his thighs. He tore those off and, while Soya looked over, shed his shirt. Soya could feel the drool coming out of mouth. Reiji’s bulging muscles contorted with his actions, his body shown from the sunlight filtering in, and his beautiful eyes knocked the wind out of him.  </p>
<p>“I don’t know if I should be impressed or jealous.” Soya whispered. Reiji smiled sheepishly.</p>
<p>“Please, you look beautiful enough to be chiseled into stone.” They both froze after that line. Soya smiled and his chuckles turned into laughs.</p>
<p>“That is the corniest line I’ve heard you say.” Soon Reiji was laughing himself. They both calmed down and planted a few more kisses before Soya lathered his fingers with lube. He looked over to Reiji and grabbed his attention with the bottle.</p>
<p>“You can never have too much lube. I’ll tell you to stop if I need more.” Reiji nodded. Under Reiji’s watchful expression, he felt like Reiji was an innocent schoolboy and Soya was his teacher teaching him a naughty lesson. Soya stuck a couple fingers inside him. He closed his eyes to focus on stretching his hole, and he bit his lip to soothe the slight pain he was feeling. He felt himself loosening up, and he opened his eyes against to see Reiji waiting on him.</p>
<p>“See this,“ he motioned towards Reiji’s dick, “as a double-edged sword. You can mess me up if you go too fast, but if you follow my lead then you’ll hit the sweet spot.” Reiji kept nodding his head along with Soya’s words.</p>
<p>He could see Reiji’s eyes shifting between his eyes and cock, Reiji’s eyes growing wider as Soya’s face contorted in pleasure. Feeling his fingers brush against his prostate, he bit his lip harder, trying not to let any noises escape his mouth. The muscles in his stomach and thighs tighten rhythmically, and Reiji ran his eyes across him as he did so.</p>
<p>He grabbed more lube for his fingers and handed it towards Reiji, who slipped on the condom and put a fair amount of lube around his shaft.</p>
<p>“Have you done this a lot?” He asked Soya, who looked up confused.</p>
<p>“What have I done a lot?”</p>
<p>“Had sex as an umm, what’s the term where your receiving?” A flash of confusion crossed his mind as he answered the question.</p>
<p>“A bottom, and most of the time. I can be on top, but it’s been a while. It’s… been a while in general.” He muttered the last sentence, but Reiji heard it anyway.</p>
<p>“So, I’m a top?” Soya nodded, humming through his throat.</p>
<p>“Are you about ready?” Soya asked him. He nodded, and he slipped his fingers out of himself and he kissed Reiji on the cheek. He grabbed a flat pillow from the top of the bed and put it under his head. Soya laid down, and Reiji grabbed Soya’s waist. Reiji’s hands felt huge compared to the rest of his body, and he watched Soya’s chest rise and fall faster than it was before.</p>
<p>“Go slow, please.” Soya felt embarrassed saying please, it wasn’t something he usually said, but it gave Reiji’s dick one last adrenaline boost before he poked Soya’s entrance.</p>
<p>Despite them having what he thought to be an insane amount of lube, Soya was tight, and Reiji’s dick was bigger than he expected. His dick bounced in front of Reiji, and his hands dug into the sheets. Reiji went slowly, but with every inch inside, Soya felt himself splitting apart.  </p>
<p>“Fuck,” He hissed through his teeth. He closed his eyes to focus on his breathing, trying to get himself to loosen up.</p>
<p>“Can you put some more lube on?” He asked Reiji, his voice quivering. Reiji nodded and followed his order seeing Soya’s discomfort. He took a minute to catch his breath and nodded at Reiji to keep going. He was more hesitant this time, but with the extra lube Soya felt himself relax.</p>
<p>“It’s all the way in.” He said.</p>
<p>“Good. You can move now” Reiji thrusts into Soya, starting slow, and barely putting any force into him. Despite that, Soya’s body writhe in pleasure, his fingers grabbed at the sheets, his dick was leaking pre-cum down his shaft and it was hard keeping the noises inside his throat. Reiji went faster, the sound of skin slapping skin growing in the room. At this point he didn’t care if the walls were thin, he just wanted to make Reiji come.</p>
<p>He continued to thrust himself into Soya, a moan occasionally escaping his mouth. He bit into his lip and placed his forearm against his eyes, not wanting to stare look at Reiji.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Reiji muttered, he slowed down a bit to stroke Soya’s dick and rub his hand across his chest. Soya’s throat was opening up, but he still wanted to hold back his voice from Reiji. Reiji noticed Soya’s toes curl when he played with him, and he tilted his head back.</p>
<p>Seeing his neck exposed, Reiji folded over Soya and leaned up to have a taste. Wincing at the pain, Soya instinctively leaned away, which just exposed himself more. Reiji lined his neck with hickeys all the way around his neck, and towards his collarbone. Soya’s breath hitched. He was getting to his limit.  </p>
<p>Soya was feeling his cock twitch more as every brief movement sent him on the brink of orgasm. He moved a slight bit more, his tongue lagging like a dog. With just a few more thrusts, Reiji groaned, and Soya felt him stop his trusting. He pulled out of Soya, who heaved beneath him. Shredding off the condom, he noticed Soya had leaked a lot of pre-cum but hadn’t finished himself. Sweating like a mad-man, Soya reached down to jerk himself off, hellbent on feeling himself release.</p>
<p>“Lay on your back.” Reiji told him. Soya took the pillow out from under him and he gazed at Reiji. “You don’t have to do anything else, I can take care of myself from here.” Reiji shook his head.</p>
<p>“I don’t care. I want to make you happy.” He pulled Soya towards him and licked Soya’s cock. A strange taste hit his tongue, it was a mix of sweat, saltiness, and something almost acidic. Circling around the head of his cock, Soya hadn’t said anything, he only ran his hand through Reiji’s hair. With his tongue he was trying to simulate what Soya had done to him, but Reiji was sloppy with no technique.</p>
<p>“Use your lips a bit more, don’t worry about using your tongue right now.” Soya was trying to direct him, but Reiji seemed lost. He tried bobbing his head, but he ended biting Soya’s shaft instead.</p>
<p>“Shit!” He winced in pain and Reiji took himself away from Soya. Soya bit his thumb, trying to move the pain away from his dick.</p>
<p>“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” Reiji backed off for good this time, shame weighing on his back.</p>
<p>“All right. I’m done.” Soya grabbed his boxers from the ground and slipped them on, the same with his long-sleeve shirt. Reiji wrapped Soya’s comforter around him and fell onto a fresh pillow. Soya fell down next to him. He turned away from Soya in shame.</p>
<p>“Stop hogging the blanket.” He tried to snuggle under the blanket with Reiji, who turned towards him. He ran his hand across Reiji’s cheek.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” He asked. Reiji looked away from Soya’s fierce eyes.</p>
<p>“I feel selfish.” Soya put Reiji’s face in between his hands. “You’re not selfish. I just make sure you feel good.”</p>
<p>“But I should do the same to you, and I didn’t.” Soya sighed and gave Reiji a peck on the lips. “Then we can do this again and I can teach you a bit more.” Reiji wrapped his arms around Soya’s waist and brought him into a hug under the sheets. His body was warm, just how he liked it.</p>
<p>Reiji buried his body into his chest, and Soya placed a kiss into hair. They still had nothing else to do that day, and nothing else would happen as they lay in bed for the rest of the day, Soya wondering if now was the right time to say ‘I love you’.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One more chapter to go. It's been a good ride ya'll, I'm gonna miss it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Reiji VII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kako and Tsutsumi sat around the table chatting with their drinks clinking in their hands, Suwa and Tachikawa were in the corner getting into an argument, and Reiji approaching the table felt a sense of Déjà vu wash over him. He sat down and Kako from across the table turned towards him with a smile; her face highlighted with a pink flush.</p>
<p>“Hey Kizaki,” Her voice held a flirty tang, “How are you doing tonight? I haven’t seen you in a while.” He glanced over towards Tsutsumi who points towards the two empty glasses next to the drink in Kako’s hand. Reiji nods slight enough for only Tsutsumi to notice.</p>
<p>“Doing good Kako. How much have you drunk tonight?” She sends a drink sliding towards Reiji. He catches it on the table, and she reaches over to cheers with his drink.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter because he,” She gestures towards Tsutsumi, “is making sure I get home safe.” She tips her head back to swallow the rest of her drink and Reiji sips on his.</p>
<p>He smiles. Hearing a yelp, the three at the table turn towards Suwa, who has Tachikawa’s head under his arm. Tachikawa tapped against Suwa’s arm to release him, but the blonde kept him still, both of their red faces reflected against the fluorescent ceiling lights. The three at the table laughed and Reiji leaned his head back against the seat.</p>
<p>Everything was right in the world. His classes had been done for the year, he was having a great time with his friends, all he needed now was a warm body against his. And speaking of a warm body, the opposite stepped into the bar at that moment. Soya glanced around to find the group, and when their eyes met, a cold snap reached out and latched onto Reiji’s heart.</p>
<p>His smile was a breath of fresh air around the alcohol tinted air and cigarette smoke that wandered in from the parking lot. He approached the table and sat down next to Reiji. His scarf wrapped around his neck, slightly obstructing his smile, and his hair looked swooshed from the wind outside.</p>
<p>“How are you doing?” He asks Reiji, getting comfortable in his seat. Soya brushes against him in his shifting, and Reiji catches a faint smell of cologne.</p>
<p>“Fine, I just got here a couple minutes ago. You haven’t missed much.” He hums in his throat. Tachikawa wrestles himself off Suwa in the corner and the two wonder over to the table, seeing Soya sit down.</p>
<p>Suwa sits on the edge of the booth, throwing his arm around Soya’s neck and squishing him against Reiji.</p>
<p>“Yo, Kazama. What’s up, man? Glad to see you here.” He picks up a beer can and chugs the rest of it. Tachikawa from across the table slumps into his seat.</p>
<p>“Tell that psycho to stop pushing drinks into my mouth.” Suwa swishes a drink in his direction, and Soya half-heartedly tells him to stop.</p>
<p>“I’m going up to the bar, do you want anything?” Soya asked him, throwing Suwa off of him. He shook his head.</p>
<p>“No, if I drink too much Kako might try to ask me weird questions.” Her eyebrows raise towards Reiji from across the table and Soya grabs his wallet to walk towards the bar. Kako kicks him under the table.</p>
<p>“I’m going to ask you weird questions, anyway. Why delay the inevitable?” Reiji huffs.</p>
<p>“I guess I shouldn’t. I was expecting you to ask.” She gives him a golf-clap and leans into Reiji to probe him.</p>
<p>“So, how are you two doing?”</p>
<p>“Fine, I stay at his place most days and hang out there when I have nothing to do.” She takes another swig of her drink.</p>
<p>“You cook over there a lot? I know Kazama loves your cooking.” He nods.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I do. It helps that there’s a marketplace next to his apartment too.”</p>
<p>“That’s awesome,” She paws at Tsutsumi’s arm. “I should go check out this marketplace. You like my cooking, right?” Reiji sees the pain against Tsutsumi’s face as he nods.</p>
<p>“Yes, but maybe I should cook from now on.” She waves him off and turns towards Reiji again.</p>
<p>“Now for the weird questions, have you two had sex yet?” She said that a bit too loud for Reiji’s liking and everyone at the table turned towards Reiji, their faces written with the same mischievous nature as Kako’s.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m curious too.” Tachikawa says from his seat. Reiji gulps and rubs the back of his neck. The heat already rose to his face, and he whispered out a shy ‘yes’. Everyone at the table gives him a smirk and they flinch, hearing Soya’s voice from behind him.</p>
<p>“Why do you always have to make everyone uncomfortable, Kako?” She smiles at Soya while he slinks besides Suwa and Reiji, handing him a glass of water and keeping a vanilla-looking drink for himself.</p>
<p>“I just like to keep things interesting.” Soya rolls his eyes and sips his drink. “So, what are you guys talking about?” Reiji buries his head into his hands, trying to hide the red growing on his face.</p>
<p>“I asked him if you two had sex yet and he burst into flames.” Soya blinked and Reiji cringed from the silence.</p>
<p>“I mean, yeah. It’s not that big a deal. Jin and Tachikawa fucked on their first date.” Tachikawa spit out his drink.</p>
<p>“How do you know that?”</p>
<p>“Jin told me.” He pursed his lips and sunk further into his seat. Kako snapped her fingers to get everyone’s attention.</p>
<p>“Hey! We aren’t focusing on Tachikawa. We’re trying to probe these two for answers.” Suwa speaks up from beside Soya.</p>
<p>“I have a question. How does that work between you two?” Soya tips his head to the side.</p>
<p>“Like how two men have sex?” Reiji from beside Soya gulps down the whole glass of water, trying to cool down his face. With every word spoken he gets more uncomfortable, and Soya doesn’t notice that.</p>
<p>“No, I’m asking how it fits.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Soya whispers out, while Reiji feels like he wants to die in the seat next to him. Soya glances over at him, scans his face, and turns back towards Suwa.</p>
<p>“Suwa when you have sex with a woman, do you just stick your dick inside, or do you do some foreplay before you do?” He was tipsy. The cogs in his head were rusty with alcohol, and he snapped his fingers when he put two and two together.</p>
<p>“Oh, I get it now! That makes total sense!” He was too enthusiastic for everyone’s liking, but after that the focus shifted away from him and Soya and towards the rest of their friends stoking themselves with alcohol. With a few more glasses of water, the red tint had receded from his face, instead flowering onto Soya’s face.</p>
<p>He had only drunk a glass and a half, but he was already laughing more than usual, smiling at Reiji, and entertaining Kako and Tachikawa’s shenanigans. Soya play fights with Suwa in the seat next to him and gets pushed into Reiji’s lap. He looks up towards Reiji and smiles. It makes Reiji blush seeing Soya’s more playful side, and he throws his arms around Reiji’s neck.</p>
<p>“You’re so handsome, you know.” He whispers into Reiji’s ear. Kako from across the table smiles and Tachikawa looks shocked seeing Soya being more affectionate. Soya gets off him and takes a few swings of his water. He shakes his head and laughs.</p>
<p>“I’m getting tipsy, aren’t I?” Reiji smiles and ruffles Soya’s head.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but it’s cute so I don’t mind.” Soya play-punches Reiji and he walks outside with Suwa and Tsutsumi to smoke. Only he, Kako, and Tachikawa remain at the table.</p>
<p>“So how are you two really doing?” Kako asked Reiji. Her voice still sounded playful, but without Suwa’s yelling she could have a conversation with him without the blonde taking things too far.</p>
<p>“I mean, how are you really feeling about him? You two have known each other for so long, it must be weird seeing him as your boyfriend instead of just your friend.”</p>
<p>“Not really, he hasn’t changed that much, and I like that he hasn’t.” He takes another drink and Tachikawa speaks up.</p>
<p>“Kazama has been happier lately. When I ask him to train, he seems to enjoy it more than before.” Kako nods along with him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too, you look happier too Kizaki.” The three of them fiddle with their drinks and Kizaki clears his throat.</p>
<p>“I think I’m going to tell him I love him tonight.” The normally chatty pair stays silent as they train their eyes on Reiji. Kako held a neutral face while Tachikawa’s lips curl upwards.</p>
<p>“About time.” Kako winks at Reiji.</p>
<p>A couple minutes later the three from outside migrate inside, their faces tinted with a harsher red from the cold outside. Soya sits down next to Reiji, Suwa following him, and Tsutsumi sits next to Kako and gives her a peck on the cheek.</p>
<p>“Well aren’t you being affectionate, Tsutsumi?” Suwa remarks, while Soya snickers to himself. Tsutsumi’s face gets redder and the older two continue to chuckle at him.</p>
<p>Tachikawa and Kako look towards Reiji for an answer who only shrugs.</p>
<p>“What are you three laughing at?” Kako asks, and after a split-second the three burst out laughing. Suwa grabs hold of Soya and Tsutsumi tips his head into the table.</p>
<p>“It’s just a stupid joke.” Soya croaks out between laughs.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you had to be there to get it.” Suwa added on.</p>
<p>After a couple more minutes of bickering, Tachikawa stood up and said goodbye, followed by Suwa, and the couple, Kako and Tsutsumi. Leaving the bar, Kako gives Reiji a wink and the two speed off down the road. Without Suwa around, Soya sharply reverts to his usual calm self, and he massages his temples on the way to the car.</p>
<p>“Damn, I drank too much.” He whispers to himself. Reiji unlocks the car from afar and the pair hop inside. Reiji’s phone dings while they settle into their seats and as Reiji starts the car, he unlocks his phone.</p>
<p>He had two messages from Rindou telling him it was his turn to make breakfast in the morning and he kicks himself for forgetting.</p>
<p>“Hey, Soya.” He looks at Reiji, his eyes reflecting brilliantly against the light outside. For a moment, Reiji forgets what he was going to say and simply admires Soya’s beautiful face.</p>
<p>“Yes?” His eyebrows raise and Reiji shakes himself.</p>
<p>“I’m actually on breakfast duty tomorrow morning so I don’t think I can stay over tonight. I’m sorry,” Soya’s eyes lower.</p>
<p>“Don’t be sorry, you have things you need to do.” He wraps his jacket around himself as they speed off in the car. The heater hums into their ears and the radio can barely be heard above the natural ambience around them. Neither of them talk, they just enjoy the sounds that radiate around them.</p>
<p>It isn’t too long until Reiji pulls up to Soya’s apartment. Reiji unlocks his seatbelt to give Soya a hug when the smaller man speaks up.</p>
<p>“Do you want to take a shower with me?” Reiji blinks a few times.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be there until the morning, right? What’s another thirty minutes?” Soya wasn’t taking no for an answer and got out of the car without saying goodbye to him. He was expecting Reiji to follow him, and like a puppy, Reiji walks inside with Soya. He locks the door behind them and Soya already has the bathroom light on.</p>
<p>“I’ll wait for you to get done.” Reiji says to Soya. He pokes his head around the corner and gives Reiji a confused scare.</p>
<p>“I asked if you wanted to take a shower <em>with </em>me.” He retreats back into the bathroom, the door ajar, leaving Reiji standing awkwardly in the living room.</p>
<p>“Are you coming or not?” Soya yells to him. The showerhead turns on and Reiji faintly hears Soya’s clothes hit the floor. He gulps, slips off his shoes, and walks hesitantly towards the bathroom. He peaks around the side to see Soya looking at his face through the mirror, nothing on his body except his tight boxers.</p>
<p>In the fluorescent lights, Soya’s pale skin contrasts harshly with his rosy cheeks, and he motions for Reiji to look into the mirror. His skin was darker than Soya’s and his cheeks lost the heat he felt at the bar. Soya’s still had the same red flow from before, and he smiles into the mirror.</p>
<p>“How do you get your hair so red?” Soya asks him.</p>
<p>“Usami does my hair. A couple years ago she wanted to see what it would look like and it looked so naturally I’ve kept it like that since.” Soya smiles and pulls Reiji into a kiss. Soya grabs Reiji’s hand and places it against his chest. He squeezes and his cold skin makes his entire body shiver. Soya nibbles on Reiji’s lip, who winces.</p>
<p>“Sorry.” He glances up towards Reiji’s hair, “I must say, Usami did good with your hair.” Soya reaches up to run a hand through his hair. He sneaks his other hand under Reiji’s shirt, running his icy fingers along Reiji’s body and leaving him with a tingling sensation in his stomach. He takes off Soya’s hands for a moment to shed his shirt and instantly Soya is all over him. His hands travel along Reiji’s back, and his tongue trails along his chest, down towards his abs.</p>
<p>“Take off your pants.” He says, his voice laced in confidence. Reiji obeys, making sure to unbutton and unzip slowly.</p>
<p>“You know, we can’t get into the shower with clothes on.” Reiji reaches around Soya and pulls back the hem of his boxers before releasing it, hearing the slap against Soya’s skin. The smaller man bites his lip and does the same with Reiji’s boxers. Unfortunately for Soya, his boxers weren’t as tight, and the slap was unsatisfying. He pouts.</p>
<p>“That’s not fair.” Reiji grins and pulls Soya’s waist towards him. He leans in to whisper into Soya’s ear.</p>
<p>“What’s not fair is you taking the reins on this.” He lifts Soya up onto the counter, some bottles falling onto the floor. Soya’s back hits the mirror with Reiji’s mouth locked onto his neck. One of his hands pins Soya's thigh onto the counter, his thumb circling around his hip. Soya’s hands keep trailing along his body, his breath hitching in Reiji’s ears. Reiji releases for a second to glance at Soya’s face; his cheeks were a crimson red and his ears burned the same tone.</p>
<p>Reiji sucked on Soya’s adam’s apple, his breath becoming more uncontrollable, and with his free hand Reiji reaches down to paw at Soya’s cock that hardens in his boxers.</p>
<p>“Fuck.” Soya moans into his ear. Reiji can feel Soya’s hands tremble as they travel slowly along his body. As his hands near Reiji’s waist, Soya braces Reiji’s head away from his neck. His hands quickly sneak under Reiji’s waistband and smoothly run across his shaft. He pulls down Reiji’s boxers, and the redhead lets them slowly slip down his waist, onto the tiles below.</p>
<p>Reiji shivers and his body freezes for a quick second, just long enough for Soya to gain control, pushing Reiji into the shower. The lukewarm spray washes over both of them, and Soya reaches past Reiji’s waist for the shower handle, his other hand steadily  stroking up and down Reiji’s now hard cock. Reiji hears his heartbeat in his ears as he watches Soya’s hand swirl around his shaft, his thumb rubbing along the underside of his head.</p>
<p>Reiji tilts his head back, letting the warming water wash over his face and focusing on Soya’s hands making good work on his cock.</p>
<p>“You’re enjoying this a lot,” Soya quips. Reiji flings his eyes open and realizes his hands still on Soya, unmoved since Soya pushed him into the shower. He pulls Soya towards him, slipping his hands to squeeze his ass. Soya lets out a muffled groan, and he lets his hands rest around Reiji’s neck.     </p>
<p> Reiji eyes light up and he pins Soya against the tiled wall. He puts his lips to Soya’s ear.</p>
<p>“Hold on to my neck.” Soya nods and Reiji feels his neck tighten. In one effortless motion, Reiji hoists Soya up to his waist and the smaller man wraps his legs around his body. Their stiff cocks rest against each other and Reiji rubs himself against Soya. He sees Soya’s eyes flutter and his mouth slowly open, his tongue lagging with each thrust against his dick. His breaths were rapid, a small sound escaping from his throat, nowhere near as loud as Reiji, who let his voice escape his throat with no resistance.</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for Reiji to feel the build-up in himself. A tingling feeling that was traveling through his body from his cock. Soya brought Reiji into him, wrapping his arms tighter around his shoulder and pushing Reiji’s nose into Soya’s neck. For the few fleeting moments where his face felt the rare heat radiating off of Soya, he closed his eyes and let his body slip away into ecstasy that spread throughout his body, landing onto Soya’s chest.</p>
<p>A few seconds later with a hitched breath, Soya cums onto his chest and leans his head back against the shower wall. Soya taps on Reiji’s back and he slowly lets Soya’s body slip out of his hands. He steps back, noticing their cum leave Soya’s pale skin. He meets Soya’s gaze, who kept a hungry look in his eyes. His eyes trail across Reiji’s body, and he grabs the shampoo and conditioner.</p>
<p>“Sit down on the stool.” From the corner Reiji grabs two stools, sitting in one and handing Soya the other. He sits behind Reiji and he hears the containers crack open. Soya lathers his hands and runs his hands through the redhead’s hair. His nails rub into Reiji’s head, leaving him to sway from the feeling.</p>
<p>“Do you like that?” Soya asks him, and Reiji hums in response. He rinses the suds out of Reiji’s hair and does the same process with the conditioner. It was colder in Reiji’s scalp and while it settled, Soya scrubbed Reiji’s back with a washcloth. After another rinse, Reiji turns around in his seat and smiles.</p>
<p>“You’re cute when you sink into it.” Soya turns away, embarrassed.</p>
<p>“I’m tipsy so it makes everything feel stronger.” Reiji plants a kiss on Soya’s lips.</p>
<p>“Maybe I take you out to drink more often than.” Soya gives Reiji a playful slap across the cheek.</p>
<p>“Stop it. I need you to wash my hair so get to it.” He can see a smirk on Soya as he turns away from Reiji in his stool. He hands Reiji the shampoo and conditioner.</p>
<p>“Don’t be so rough with my hair.” Reiji clicks open the bottles.</p>
<p>“I won’t.” Reiji lathers the shampoo against his hair and runs his hands through Soya’s hair. It was silky in Reiji’s hands and as he ran his fingers through Soya’s hair, he slowly shaped it into his palms. He ran a hand down Soya’s back and rinsed off his body. Soya turned off the shower head and stood up, wrapping a robe around his body. He turned towards Reiji, who slipped a pair of boxers around his waist.</p>
<p>“Would you stay with me a little while longer?” His eyes seemed mischievous and seeing them Reiji wanted to stay for the rest of the night. It was rare he saw a sparkle in Soya’s eyes, and tonight they glowed as brightly as the moon. Reiji nodded and Soya lead him into the bedroom.</p>
<p>Soya plopped down on the bed, Reiji falling next to him. They laid next to each other, staying silent and soaking up each other’s presence. Soya clears his throat and lies on his side towards Reiji. His robe loosened around his chest, showing off his collarbone and leaving Reiji’s eyes free to roam across his abs. It was tantalizingly close.</p>
<p>“How sensitive is your chest?” Just as Soya opened his mouth to speak, Reiji blurted out his question to Soya’s surprise. He raised an eyebrow and Reiji reached over to run his hand from Soya’ abs to his collar. He trailed down again to run his thumb against Soya’s nipple, who swatted his hand away.</p>
<p>“You didn’t mean to say chest, did you? You meant somewhere else.” Reiji nervously smiled.</p>
<p>“Y-yeah, I just got distracted by your beauty.” Soya’s eyelids lowered and Reiji felt the heat rise to his face. He knew that was cheesy to say and Soya felt the same way.</p>
<p>“So, judging by that, did you want to do something else?” Reiji felt his face flush even more. The seductiveness in Soya’s voice sent shivers down his spine and he gulped, nodding. Soya smiled and Reiji moved to straddle him. His body was nearly twice as big as Soya’s, but the looks Soya was giving him let Reiji knew he was in control: nothing Reiji did would be against Soya’s wishes.</p>
<p>He slipped his hands through Soya’s robe, letting them trail around his back and down towards his bare waist. Soya slipped his icy fingers around Reiji’s neck, letting them trail up through his hair, and caress his ears. The shivers went straight towards Reiji’s boxers and he breathed into Soya’s hands.</p>
<p>Soya leaned Reiji down towards him and landed a few hungry kisses against his lips. He nipped at Reiji’s lips and their tongues swirled around each other’s in Reiji’s mouth, saliva escaping from his mouth in their passion. Reiji ground his hips against Soya’s who bucked back into him, running his hands along his back. Reiji pulled back for a second to catch his breath and without hesitation Soya followed him up, not giving him a second to rest.</p>
<p>Reiji’s head was getting foggy; his body was being overstimulated and Soya knew what he was doing. From his grinding, hair-pulling, and deliberately placed kisses, Reiji was exploding in every direction. It was almost overwhelming, and when Soya saw felt his body shake, he stopped and unwrapped his robe. Like always, Reiji admired his body. His pale skin reflected in the moonlight, his extraordinary eyes gleamed towards him and the bites he made earlier along his collarbone were prominent. Reiji knew he was slack-jawed watching Soya undress, and he didn’t care. When Soya looked into his eyes, for the first time he understood that this gorgeous person was all his.</p>
<p>He had taken off his boxers, and Soya planted himself on his back. His elbow was propping himself up to look at him and his expression changed. It wasn’t lust, and Reiji guessed he had the same revelation; he was all his. Reiji crawled towards him, letting his tongue run along Soya’s body up towards his jaw. He placed a few more kisses against Soya’s jaw and leaned back to position himself in front of Soya’s hole.</p>
<p>Soya threw a leg up around Reiji’s neck, the other held in place by one of Reiji’s hands. Soya bit his lip and gripped the sheets in anticipation. Reiji took one more glance down at Soya and entered him. At first Soya backed away, but as his grip on the sheets tightened, he relaxed the rest of his body. Reiji felt the head of his cock enter, and without a condom the warmth flowed into Soya.</p>
<p>With every inch Soya twitched more and more, and his grip on the sheets kept the same intensity. His face scrunched and twisted in pain. Reiji lips thinned.</p>
<p>“Are you all right? Should I go slower?” Soya opened his eyes and his eyebrow twitched in annoyance.</p>
<p>“I’m fine, I just need you to fuck me right now.” He growled out towards Reiji who felt his whole shaft enter Soya. From under him Soya’s faced loosened, his mouth parting slightly. Reiji could feel his body adjust around him, and he reached up to plant a single kiss against Soya’s lips before starting to thrust in and out of Soya. Slow at first, Reiji could feel Soya’s body morph every time his hips hit against him. His eyes were closed, but Soya’s mouth showed everything Reiji wanted to know.</p>
<p>A tooth imprint scarred on his swollen lips, his tongue slowly exiting from his mouth, and the same sounds coming from his throat. It was getting to be too much, and Reiji could feel his eyes water. He wanted Soya to moan his name. He wanted Soya to scream ‘I love you’ at the top of his lungs. The more he thought, the harder it was to keep the tears from flowing out of his eyes and with a sniffle, Soya’s eyes flew open to look at him.</p>
<p>Reiji slowed his pace and threw his head back to rub his eyes with his palms. Soya sat up and framed Reiji’s face with his hands. He placed a kiss on each of his eyes and pulled him into a hug. He knew exactly what Reiji was thinking.</p>
<p>“I love you.” Reiji wrapped his arms around Soya and pushed his back to the bed. He buried his eyes in Soya’s neck, enveloping himself in his scent. Soya ran his hands through Reiji’s hair until the redhead sat up again, his eyes focusing on Soya and only him. Nothing else around them existed or mattered. The only thing that did were the four words that left his lips in that moment.</p>
<p>“I love you too.”   </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well shit. I guess that's the end. If ya'll liked going through this with me drop a kudos if you could. It means a lot to me and if you have any fic requests i'm open to anything WorTri related. I know most of you guys are probably in school already so I wish you all good luck and hope you all have an amazing year. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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